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Thread: 23 mo - wean before trip?

  1. #1
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    Default 23 mo - wean before trip?

    I haven't posted here in awhile, but hoped you ladies could give me some advice. I'm going on a biz trip in exactly a month (coincidentally ds's 2 yr birthday) and while it's possible for me to pump and see if he still wants to nurse when I return after 4 nights, I am finally at the point where 95% of me wants to wean. (I do get sad thinking about weaning.)

    A few months ago, I successfully night weaned but he still has only STTN about 4x. For the past 3-4 weeks we have only been nursing 1x per day (7am) but he still wakes at 6am most days ready to nurse (and also wakes a few times before that). So I am hoping that weaning will do the trick. Ironically, if we were nursing before bed only and he was STTN, I'd probably give nursing a try again after my trip.

    So my question is - do I make his birthday (my flight is at 10am so we can make our 7am session) the bittersweet farewell session or do I try to stop a few days or weeks beforehand, while I am still around to comfort him? Also, what should I tell him (he is pretty bright for his age)?

    THANKS!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    Of course you know "weaning by desertion" is never recommended for baby's sake. But besides that, you will probably need to pump at least a little bit for your own health. You don't want to end up with mastitis or an abscess. At least if you did that you would have your options open for whatever feelings you and DS have when you return. That's what I would do, FWIW.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    can you just have dh get up with him on Sat. and Sun. and make yourself scarce, or make breakfast/keep busy and see if he even asks to nurse or just skips it? when I am not around, Ben does not even miss it. In fact, my mom and dh tell me all the time he is less whiny when I am not around.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    Quote Originally Posted by shannon75 View Post
    can you just have dh get up with him on Sat. and Sun. and make yourself scarce, or make breakfast/keep busy and see if he even asks to nurse or just skips it? when I am not around, Ben does not even miss it. In fact, my mom and dh tell me all the time he is less whiny when I am not around.
    Kids frequently "save" their "worst" behavior for mom, because that is when they feel safe and secure to express their feelings. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or have anything to do with BFing, or mean your child is bratty/spoiled/whatever. "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" is a great book.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2007
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    If you are only gone for 4 days, and he only nurses once a day, I bet if he isn't ready to wean that you will still be able to nurse when you get back.
    Of course he may not want to by then.
    I wouldn't exactly classify what you are doing as "desertion". That seems harsh considering he only nurses once a day.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    Quote Originally Posted by adoptTHENnatural View Post

    A few months ago, I successfully night weaned but he still has only STTN about 4x. For the past 3-4 weeks we have only been nursing 1x per day (7am) but he still wakes at 6am most days ready to nurse (and also wakes a few times before that). So I am hoping that weaning will do the trick. Ironically, if we were nursing before bed only and he was STTN, I'd probably give nursing a try again after my trip.
    The other ladies have great advice for you, and I agree, you probably should try to pump a little bit while you're away to stave off any probs, and to have the option to continue nursing when you get back JIC your DS really isn't quite ready to completely wean.

    I did want to add one thing though, regarding your above quote. With my oldest son, I nightweaned him at about 13 mos. or so. Nightweaning didn't end his night waking though. In fact, his night waking continued up until he was 4 years old, though the older he got, it became easier and easier to get him to go back to sleep, and at the end of it, it wasn't every night, but just a couple of times a week. In fact, I'd say that once he was 2 years old or so, the nightwaking was actually more like night terrors than just night waking. We tried lots of things through those couple of years, and some worked somewhat, some didn't at all. Finally, the night we brought home our new dog, he didn't have any more problems.

    Having gone through that situation, I decided not to nightwean our DS#2 until I was positive he was ready and able to, because I was certain that it would've been alot easier to nurse DS#1 back to sleep during his night waking issues than it had been without nursing. DS#2 is almost 22 mos. old, and he still night nurses, and night wakes. He's a very late teether though, so he's always going through teething pain and he still needs 8 more teeth before he's done teething! We've decided at this point, that we won't night wean because in our previous experience, it didn't cure the night waking problem.

    Anyway, I know our experiences aren't the same as yours, but I did want you to know that fully weaning may not do a thing to help your DS learn to sleep through the night. If I had to make a guess, from my experience, I'd say it has more to do with a developmental issue with each child than with weaning. It seems to me, that when the child is ready to sleep through the night, they will. To me, night nursing is just one of those tools that comes in really handy for me to get DS to drift off to sleep the fastest. Just like daytime nursing is for gently waking up a sleepy youngster in the morning or easing the pain of a boo boo.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 23 mo - wean before trip?

    What you should tell him, if you decide to wean, is that YOU are done. Figure out why you are done and phrase it in a way that doesn't involve him at all. Do NOT tell him he's too big to nurse now because he will then act like a baby (being a bright child).

    What *I* would do is just warn him a few days ahead and regularly that mom's going away. Work WITH him to figure out how he'd like to wake up in the mornings.. make it really special (warm milk with honey in it was a special replacement for my milk with dd). While away, I'd let my supply drop, only expressing if I got full. You won't dry up. When back, he'll probably ask to nurse. And you will have less milk and he'll only nurse for a short time and then start switching sides like crazy. A minute into the nursing session, ask if he wants some... whatever his second favorite beverage is. I'll bet nursing will turn into a quick check in to make sure it is there. A check in that you can avoid most mornings by getting up before him and distracting right away.

    But I too was 95% ready to wean by dd's second birthday too, and a year and a half later she was still nursing so what do I know?? He will wean. He's so close. DD still doesn't sleep through the night regularly. In fact lately it's been kind of ridiculous, but she just started school.

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