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Thread: seperation anxiety and night weaning

  1. #1
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    Default seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Can night weaning lead to seperation anxiety? We have started night weaning in the last few weeks, but both kids are freaking out when we dh or I am out of their sight. We have tried to put them in the nursery at church, but are paged to get them after 10 min (three weeks in a row). Even if I leave both kids with dh to run a few errands, Eli will scream bloody murder. Dh said that last time I ran to the store to get some stuff, Eli would not let go of him for anything. Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with the sep. anxiety? Audrey & Eli start MMO tomorrow, and I don't want them crying the whole time they are there.

    Thanks for the help.
    Nancy
    Mom to Elijah & Audrey 9/19/06
    Twin GERDlings

    for 21 mo



  2. #2
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Could be from the night weaning or could just be the age/stage. In my experience and research, the only remedy for it is to lavish on the love and attention as much as possible. They have to feel secure in their attachment with you before (and while) they can work on their independence. Have you read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"?

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    I'm not night weaning. . .however dd has had terrible separation anxiety since she was aroun 10 months old, she's a whole lot better now, but still only will stay in the church nursery for about 10 minutes. She's ok with dh when I leave as long as he is actively "playing" with her.

    Pray that this stage passes quickly for us both!
    Cloth Diapering & Family, SAHMomma to Joel (5/04) and & to Hannah (6/06) and devoted wife to Joel

  4. #4
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    With my first three kids, I found that, whether I liked it or not, the seperation anxiety was a real need. I found it in myself to not leave if I was able. Amazingly, those same moms who scorned me for spoiling my kids were the same ones who had children still screaming when they left at three years old. My three year olds on-the-other-hand, walked right in and happily played, blowing me a kiss good-bye at the door.

    I KNOW that sometimes we have to leave them. But there is a big difference between "have to" and "I think that they should be old enough to be left." If it is the later, take a deep breath and step-up to motherhood (just like in the beginning when they had to nurse every hour). Not trying to offend anyone or to judge working moms. Again, there is a difference between "have to" and "want to." Sometimes when we are emotionally drained and NEED a break, that qualifies as "have to." But think hard about it before hand. We can do a lot with a toddler present. We will have a lot of years (later) to do all the things that we can't with a toddler present.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    My lo is much younger than you guys but here's my 2 cents. My paed told me to night wean because she should be sleeping thru the night and so I could get more sleep. Bad idea. It is simpler for me to nurse her than deal with the cranky baby who wants to nurse. So I guess unless you have to night wean, it might be more hassel than it is worth. Another mom with more experience might correct me if I'm wrong but for being a good mom having 2 can't be easy.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Have they recently started walking? Walking brings about SERIOUS separation anxiety as it's when children really begin to realize that you and they are not the same person. And thus really CAN be separate from you. It's an exciting an frightening time for them. We called it "Trying to crawl back up my Vagina" separation anxiety. So I see your children just turned a year old in Sept. So depending on when they started walking that could have something to do with it.

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #7
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    ITA w/RMFTL.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Quote Originally Posted by healthymama View Post
    ITA w/RMFTL.
    what does that mean?

    There is usually a big bout of separation anxiety the second half of the first year, and a couple more big bouts during the second year. I agree with the pp. Give lots of love, and only separate if you need to. This will help develop more independence, and less anxiety about separating.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  9. #9
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Quote Originally Posted by KathrynK View Post
    what does that mean?
    I totally agree with relactatingmomforthelord.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: seperation anxiety and night weaning

    Well the night weaning has been going well. They are now sleeping 7 hours without waking up. We started MMO since I need a few hours to myself (clean house, grocery shop, ect). It is not real easy pushing the double stroller and pulling a shopping cart. Around here many of the stores do not have double carts, and the kid carts are for kids 2-5, so they are not big enough for them yet.

    As for MMO, Audrey did great and 15 min in was hugging all the other little girls. Eli on the other hand cried most of the time. When I went to pick them up, he had fallen asleep, so I am not sure if it is the MMO or that he was tired since they are still taking 2 naps a day other than MMO day.

    Does anyone have any ideas on how to make it easier on him? My hubby travels, so most of the week it is just me and the twins. I do not have family in the area and have not found a babysitter that I am comfortable leaving the kids with other than the MMO program. This is only the 3rd time they have not been with DH or I for more then 20 min. (At the nursery are church they page us after 10 min of crying).

    Now that they are almost 16 mo, it would be really great to be able to have them not freak out when I am not in the room.
    Nancy
    Mom to Elijah & Audrey 9/19/06
    Twin GERDlings

    for 21 mo



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