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Thread: How to get over the guilt??

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    529

    Default How to get over the guilt??

    So I had to wean my son cold turkey this weekend and I am feeling very upset over it. I have been sick for weeks and finally had to take meds for it. I just feel so badly over doing it so quickly. I just don't know how to get over the feeling that I've somehow damaged him. My support system just does not get it. I am happy that we made it to 16 months, just not happy with how it all ended. Any coping stategies would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    4,836

    Default Re: How to get over the guilt??

    Sorry, I don't have any coping strategies. Just wanted to say way to go for making it to 16 months!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: How to get over the guilt??

    Well, I haven't been through what you've been though but I do know that it helped dd and I both through our weaning process to start new rituals to replace weaning. You will know what you can do with your child that's special.. ideas off the top of my head are:
    special book time, going out to a candy shop, for coffee(you) and steamer(lo), or ice cream.. something special he couldn't have as a baby, buying a new, toy that you can play with together (of course 16 month olds aren't great at playing cooperatively.. but there are things like always "ball" or catch.).. um... something along these lines. A reward for him that leads to special time with mom. But most of these ideas must be done in moderation and with emphasis on weaning so that he doesn't think that he's entitled to a trip to the candy store every day (well, maybe if you only buy two M&M's per visit).

    It helped me to acknowledge what hard work it was for my dd and to see it as an accomplishment of hers. I could then celebrate it with her, and that made a difference for her as well, I'm sure. I think it gave her a sense of security during a time of change. They KNOW when you feel guilty or ambiguous, don't they? It was MY decision, but HER achievement. This made me feel very good about weaning. I know, it's different when they are three and a half... kind of felt I certainly put in my time. But 16 months is a heck of a lot of mileage too, and something to be celebrated, not mourned. Throw that kid a party! Then have your own too!

    I'm sorry you don't feel you're getting sympathy. I'm sure no one wants you to feel bad because you NEED to take care of yourself to be a good mama.. and you went over a YEAR. But cold turkey's gotta suck. Just like any loss, the sadness won't go away over night, but you and your child's relationship will continue to grow and change. You are more important than your milk, especially now. There is much to learn from weaning, so keep your mind open and watch for growth and opportunity.

    Oh, one coping strategy that seems to help a lot of us around here... write about your feelings! Or talk, even. If you do find a friend who will just hear you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    23

    Thumbs up Re: How to get over the guilt??



    WOW
    16 months is GREAT! You did good, mama.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    529

    Default Re: How to get over the guilt??

    Thanks for the support ladies. When ds1 weaned I didn't feel so terrible. I am trying to focus on the positive so I don't feel so guilty.

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