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Thread: Please help .... (long sorry)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default Please help .... (long sorry)

    Not sure where I should post this, but I really need some advice please, has anyone been through, going through anything like this?

    My LO who is now nearly 17 months old is suddenly refusing to eat pureed foods (I thought no problem will just give him finger foods full time), but he is so picky, he won't eat any vegetables at all and will only eat bacon and burger patties and grapes, maybe a little banana and some apple. He throws his veggies on the floor and pulls a face and shakes his head. I am worried that this diet is not balanced, he is so small still he only weighs 18lbs! Will he be alright on this diet, I keep offering all sorts of veggies and fruits but he just doesn't seem interested. What should I do.

    Also, he is just so clingy to me - only wants me, crying, hanging on to my legs, wanting to come up all the time. Then when he doesn't get me he throws tantrums by throwing himself on the floor and screaming - is this normal, why is he doing this? I had to physically restrain him yesterday to put him to sleep, he screamed, kicked and hit me for 10 mins until he finally gave up to go for his nap and then he had a nice 2 hour sleep.

    I wondered if we haven't been spoiling him, he had some complications after birth and needed surgery, then we found out that he had food allergies to dairy and soy. Could this be true?

    So confused and frustrated. Can you advise?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    dr sears has some good info on his web pages about feeding picky eaters.
    you might want to check out the link.
    Its just a stage... lots of high needs kids just take longer to warm up to new things and still need alot of mom.
    Would you call him high needs?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    Sounds like you are having a tough time
    Is he still nursing?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    Yeah I would definately call him high needs.

    Still nursing - I BF first thing in the am before going to work, he has a bottle of EBM of 220ml throughout the day, plus water or juice, then I BF him to sleep and during the night two (may 2 - 3 times).

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    Read "My Child Won't Eat!" and don't worry about the food. As long as you are BFing and following his cues, he will be able to self-regulate just fine.

    The tantrums sound a little like my DD. Funny, cause whenever the ped asks me whether she has tantrums, I say No. I guess because I don't feel like they're for no reason. With us she is usually tired. Going off her sleep schedule (within reason) causes chaos. Either that or she is constipated, which also messes up her eating. Does any of that sound possible?

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    470

    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    My son is also a small fella. He's 19 months, and only about 22 pounds and 31+ inches.

    My son ate mostly vegetables for a few months, refusing all meats until recently. He suddenly took to eating chicken drumsticks all by himself. I have been told toddlers will never starve because they self-regulate. As long as you keep offering food and offering a variety, they will eat what they need.

    But I found out that I could teach him to not throw food but to hand me whatever he didn't want instead. We consistently trained him using time-outs, praises and demonstrations. It took a few months, but he seems to have stopped throwing food.
    Caylen Koen Chew (25/05/06)
    Lost No.2 in Aug 2008 ... Lost No. 3 in May 2009 Hoping for another ... Enjoying No.1



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    1,551

    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    Any changes in routine? Developmental milestones (like lots of new words or motor skills)? Impending illness maybe?
    This article might be interesting and helpful:
    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBJanFeb02p4.html

    Mary

  8. #8
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    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    He has just started to walk - 2 or 3 steps, not yet talking proper words still baby babble - do you think he is just asserting his independence?

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    That's certainly a possibility. Toddlers often like to step away and explore their world (to show how "big" they are), but then come right back to the comfort of mother's arms, too (to find reassurance in being "little" again). This behavior can be even more pronounced during times of development and/or change.
    It could be frustrating for him if he's not able to communicate what he needs yet, too. Some mothers find that a few simple signs (baby sign language) can help ease frustrations with communication. Maybe that's something you'd be interested in exploring?
    Toddler needs can be intense, so whatever you decide, extra doses of patience and understanding can help as you weather this stage. It won't last forever! Finding a safe place to vent your frustrations can help, too, such as here, in-person LLL meetings, supportive friends, etc.
    Hang in there!
    Mary
    ETA: The book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler might be another good resource. Your local LLL Group might have a copy to borrow or even your local public library.
    Last edited by @llli*LLLMaryP; January 9th, 2008 at 07:33 AM. Reason: add MYNT info

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Please help .... (long sorry)

    Quote Originally Posted by helens View Post
    Not sure where I should post this, but I really need some advice please, has anyone been through, going through anything like this?

    My LO who is now nearly 17 months old is suddenly refusing to eat pureed foods (I thought no problem will just give him finger foods full time), but he is so picky, he won't eat any vegetables at all and will only eat bacon and burger patties and grapes, maybe a little banana and some apple. He throws his veggies on the floor and pulls a face and shakes his head. I am worried that this diet is not balanced, he is so small still he only weighs 18lbs! Will he be alright on this diet, I keep offering all sorts of veggies and fruits but he just doesn't seem interested. What should I do.

    Also, he is just so clingy to me - only wants me, crying, hanging on to my legs, wanting to come up all the time. Then when he doesn't get me he throws tantrums by throwing himself on the floor and screaming - is this normal, why is he doing this? I had to physically restrain him yesterday to put him to sleep, he screamed, kicked and hit me for 10 mins until he finally gave up to go for his nap and then he had a nice 2 hour sleep.

    I wondered if we haven't been spoiling him, he had some complications after birth and needed surgery, then we found out that he had food allergies to dairy and soy. Could this be true?

    So confused and frustrated. Can you advise?
    He's advanced for his age.. you've entered the terrible twos!

    I agree with the idea of sign language. That will probably help a lot. I was a little anxious about food. Though I read enough about it to know that pushing it was a no-no, I was still like, "are you SURE you don't want one more bite?" Jeeze, I'm still like that! My dd's first and most often used sign was "all done" or "finished." With a mom like me she needed to use it a lot.

    She was clingy too. Once he gets more self control and communication skills, the clingy tendencies come in a little more handy. My child would NEVER run into the street, for example. When she started walking through the store instead of riding in the cart (much earlier than most kids around here) she stuck right by me and has always been very helpful. She's helpful around the house too. Before she learned to go play by herself (they DO do this eventually), I would either have to let her scream for a while or let her help me get the dishes and laundry done. It took longer to have her help, but we both enjoyed it and now she can do many chores by herself... which is great for self esteem. Until recently she always enjoyed the "adult" world more.. more interested in what I was doing in the kitchen than the dorky Baby Einstein toy in the living room. That was a big part of it. And you can see much more of that world from mom's hip. Now that she can set the table and sweep the floor, she'd rather play with a teddy bear.

    "Spoiling" is not a good word because it implies that the kid is ruined or something. And I assure you that even if you HAVE been too indulgent, which you probably haven't, he's not ruined. Look at it more in terms of getting into better routines, patterns, habits... There is always room for improvement. It will take years and years and years to "civilize" the little person. One step at a time. I also agree that you need a lot of patience and that it does get better. He can't even talk yet. Don't worry.

    Grapes and meat? He's getting protein, carbs, a little fiber, iron... Does he still have chubby cheeks and everything? My kid is tiny and no matter how much she eats, it doesn't change her growth pattern. It seems that if there is a slow growth pattern in a breastfed child who has food AVAILABLE, it's either genetics or medical.. not nutritional. My dd's first ped told me to push foods harder and limit or stop nursing to help her gain more weight. Well she's a chubby, short three year old.. and it turns out she has a heart murmur that could very well have slowed her growth. My point I guess is that unless there's failure to thrive, I feel very sure that a kid will eat when they need food. Give him one or two pieces at a time so he can't throw a bunch of food on the floor. That's bad manners.. but don't expect him to care at all about manners for some time. That just isn't where he's at yet.

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