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Thread: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    This is about the seventeenth time I have started this thread. It keeps coming out much longer than I intend (mostly with explanations of the things I've already tried) so I'm trying again. Here goes:

    My son is fourteen months old. When he was 5 months old, I had a nipple trauma (caused by what, we don't know) followed by thrush, and since then nursing has sucked. I hurt and bleed. I could give you lots of details on the things I have tried and the professionals I have seen, but it doesn't matter. The whole thing has been heartbreaking to say the least.

    For a while, we have been down to three feeds a day. And now, the pain is back in a major way and I need to drop one. Until I decide what to do, I'm pumping, but I can't keep this up.

    I need to replace a feed with a bottle (can't *eliminate* a feed, as he's not ready - we've tried). But which feed, and a bottle of what? He's allergic to dairy, even goat. He can't have more rice milk than he's getting as he gets constipated. Soy milk? He can have that, even though I'm not very comfortable with him having much. Formula? He's never had it, but should we try it? Water? Or maybe a solids snack? Of what?

    OK. I really am leaving out a lot, but you get the gist. Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated!

    sarah

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    try what ever you think is best.. if he cann't have cows milk maybe a solid snack would be a beter Idea.
    You have done a good job and nobody would blame you if you want to wean all together. Can your child have things like cheese and yougart? There is no need for cows milk as a drink.
    Just make sure that you give extra love and attention as you wean and baby will do just fine.
    good luck andrea!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    4

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    Hugs! Great job on BF so long through such a struggle!!!! I agree with Andrea try whatever works and you feel is best for your child. At 14 months solids should be fine. As to which feed you might need to try different ones to see which he less in need of or try cutting out the middle one. Overall, go with your gut on this and it will all work out.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    If your son is allergic to dairy, he may have trouble with formula as well so I don't think that would be a good option (unless maybe soy formula?). I think you are right to limit his rice milk as that doesn't have much protein or fat. I would think that a solids snack or the soy milk if he doesn't have a soy allergy would be the best options. I think I would just try to eliminate whichever feed you feel he would be the least attached to emotionally. Is there a time when he's more easily distracted with other activities? or may be more accepting of replacement food and cuddles? Or, if there is a particular feed that is more difficult for YOU (i.e. more painful or you are really tired and less able to deal with the pain) you could try eliminating that one. Your situation sounds terribly frustrating! It sounds like you have really gone above and beyond to provide breastmilk for so long with your trauma.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    307

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    This does sound like a difficult situation to be in. I am sorry that you're going through so much pain and it does sound like you'd rather just be able to breastfeed your baby without the pain, and good for you getting outside help instead of just outright quitting nursing. Your baby is very lucky!

    It sounds like your son is at an age that a cup might be a nice alternative to the bottle, and definitely less confusing than going back and forth from the bottle to the breast...also better for development.

    Is he interested in nutritious solid food? If you think you can maintain your supply with the 2 feedings, you may consider supplementing with nutritious food since he is definitely old enough to have solids, and if you find something that he enjoys eating, he may decide he'd like to switch to solids for that one feeding.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    2

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    Thanks everyone! It's nice to come somewhere that people aren't just, "Well, why don't you wean him?" Especially now that he's over a year old.

    I'm definitely leaning toward making the before bed feed soy instead. For the past few days, he's been getting a bottle of EBM before bed, and doesn't seem to care that it isn't nursing. He's really good with a bottle, as he's had one or more a day since November (and in November, went three weeks without nursing at all while I pumped, trying to heal).

    I think the plan is to eventually get him to have a bedtime snack. For right now, once I run out of EBM in the next few days, I'll try giving him soy milk in a cup before bed. He drinks his rice milk and water from a cup during the day, but he has been getting a bottle before bed, so if the cup makes him mad or sad, I'll go to soy in a bottle. And if he's hungrier than that, add some solids.

    Thanks again for your support and advice! I really appreciate it.

    sarah

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    192

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    How about Lactaid milk?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    21

    Default Re: replacing a feed, please help, desperate!

    If I can make a wild suggestion for you... I too had tons of nipple problems on my left side, starting when my DD was 4 mos old. It started with a cracked nipple, then it bled so much all the time that if I attempted to pump the milk was pink then I had mastitis a total of 3 times in 3 mos. I have never nursed well on that side and still had a lot of pain so eventually I noticed that she was nursing less and less on that side and sometimes would refuse that side entirely. I weaned her from the left side (over the course of 2 mos) and now nurse her completely on the right side. My right side has always been the better producer-I could pump 2 oz from the left and a whopping 9 oz from the right so it just worked out that I could feed her only from that side. The only problem is I'm a bit lopsided as far as bras go but I wear nursing sports bras so it's not a big deal. Also, from the beginning I was feeding her one side at a feeding, then the other side at the next (unless she acted like she wanted to nurse more). She was pretty small and seemed to prefer to nurse one side then play, nap, whatever for an hour and then nurse the other side. My peds was amazed at how much weight she gained at her 1 mo and 2 mos checkups and asked what my secret was-I told her I fed her on demand and she said that was great.

    Anyhow, sorry to ramble, but you could maybe cut out the traumatized side for one feeding at first, then your ds could still have his nursing but just on the "good" side (for as long as he'd like). If he still seemed hungry after that side I'd offer him solids or water and then distract him. Eventually you could wean him off the "bad" side and just nurse him on the "good" side. My DD has been weaned off the "bad" side for a month now and seems perfectly okay with it, she is 9 mos old and eats baby food, table food and drinks water when we're out (we live in GA and it's HOT and she won't nurse in public). That side still isn't healed unfortunately so who knows how long that's going to take-ugh. I am now trying neosporin on it to see if that will help it heal and keeping it clean so infection doesn't set in.

    Good luck to you and I've been there, since January, and it's been absolute h*ll for me.

    Beth
    SAHM to DD1 (3.5) and DD2 (9 mos) and surprise baby on the way, nursing while pg

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