Here goes it
My son is days away from being 15 months old. He hasn't nursed since he was 6 months old (emotionally not for milk). This was like a couple times a week. Since I lost my milk I've felt empty to an extent. My son wasn't able to drink my milk. It was decided (and trust me on this when I say its 99% possibly true) that he was one of the "lucky" ones whos allergic to his mom's bm. I was crushed and can still cry if I think about it for more then a second. To soy milk he went and then to nutramigen. I even tried to find a mom who would give my son expressed bm but didn't know anyone I'd trust enough not knowing what they ate.
It took MONTHS after he stopped nursing for me to dry up and this was without expressing.
Ive thought about relactating as soon as I dried up. Its still a dream of mine to breastfeed my son. Lately, the drive has increased but in reality I just cant see him nursing. He LOVED to latch and was excellent at it, but its been so long. He fought it once we didn't do it very much. Even sitting here I'd like to go sneak in and nurse if I thought I could do it without him getting upset.
This may help with the reoccurent ear infections hes had and the weird looking rash along with very red eyes (Im told its allergies)
Thats what I want...Now heres reality
In feb I plan to start ttc again which in my case means lots of medications. Five days of clomid, HCG triggers, and prometrium (progresterone). My bet is this would not be safe for a baby to ingest but I haven't looked into it.
Along with that I have no idea how long it would take to get my milk to come back in or even if it would. I never became engorged or had a big enough of a supply. It was a very stressful birth. I didn't get to see my son until he was 13 hours old. After nursing 20 minutes (I knew he wasn't getting enough so I HAD to feed him something else) he would down an entire feeding of formula. He also lost an ounce shy of a full pound at his 1 week check. My baby was starving and I couldn't feed him.
I have a medela pis, but am not dumb enough to believe that will get my flow coming back. I know in my heart that my will for this to work would be enough so that SOMETHING would come out and probably soon. Can I, should I put us through this again? I'd have no support for it. Id be to ashamed to ask the LC about it. Before his first birthday I causually mentioned relactation to her and got the well he's almost one so I wouldnt. That sounds like shes not a very good LC, but she is. She knows her stuff and I REALLY will need her for #2 I just dont think she would be good for now.
I dont have to NURSE him. Even if Im exclusively expressing that will give me a maternal feeling (dont take that as I dont feel maternal. I just mean that breastfeeding makes me feel so much stronger as a mom then formula feeding) that I so desperately want back.
AM I CRAZY??? AM I INSANE??? AM I ASKING FOR TROUBLE??? Would you do it?