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Thread: Weaning Help

  1. #1
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    Apr 2006
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    Red face Weaning Help

    Okay so Mommy is ready to wean, but Gavin is not! I do love nursing, but he is 21 mos old and the fact that he still wakes @ night is just not working for me anymore. And the fact that he NEEDS it so bad (Yes I realize it's for comfort at this point and that's great I love that I give him that comfort, but it's just too much anymore) anyhow yeah I can't leave him in bed til he is knocked out good or else if I try to latch him off he freaks! I feel guilty and part of me does not want to wean, but just as big a part of me wants to, also we co sleep so DH and I would like our bed to ourselves for some time before we TTC again lol which we plan in a year or so. Anyhow so here are the facts:

    21 mos old
    BF from birth, never took a bottle
    co sleeping since birth (and yes I plan on weaning from breast and then bed, not both at once, that would be too hard on him, but at the same time I feel if I am right there then that's all he wants is his ninny)
    picky eater (another reason why I'm not pushy about the weaning)
    he takes his ninny VERY seriously lol he cries for it, and giggles and says plleeeaaasee heheh

    Mommy is ready (yes and no but mostly yes)
    I do still love to nurse and do have patience about weaning, but I do need advice now ladies

    Anyhow I'm tired so if this made sense and you took the time to read it thank you!
    Melanie
    Proud Army Wife to James
    Loving Mommy to DS Gavin: March 16, 2006 and DSS Cody: Feb 13, 1998
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    No advice but just keep in mind that weaning does not equal STTN.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
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  3. #3
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    oh I know that lol but that is the only thing that gets him back to sleep right now, and we need it to the point that other things can
    Melanie
    Proud Army Wife to James
    Loving Mommy to DS Gavin: March 16, 2006 and DSS Cody: Feb 13, 1998
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    My dd didn't take bottles either. She also slept with us for most of her life and never slept through the night. She has.. especially after turning three.. slept through more lately.. but it's not a regular thing, even now that she's completely weaned. I wish I had good advice about the sleep thing. What works for me doesn't work for my dh. He doesn't do well with interrupted sleep and I don't do well with short sleep windows. And dd, well she just doesn't need all that much sleep, but does well with an early bedtime and has gotten much better at sleep since she's given up naps and thus goes to bed very early.

    Weaning, on the other hand.. well I have lots of practice at that since I feel that I spent about a year and a half of limiting and distracting and not offering and substituting and whatever else before my child suddenly told me that she no longer nursed. I weaned her down to once a day and kept it at that for a long time, then got her down to only on Sundays.. Well both the once a day and the once a week FELT like I had a weaned child.. because nursing was no longer a big part of our daily lives. And the times we did nurse were wonderful.

    I imagine your weaning process will be a lot of two steps forward one step back. Take your time. They say drop one feed at a time, but what worked better for me was to add one rule at a time. No nursing in bed could be a good one. Then move to no nursing while the night light is on.. or maybe start on some daytime rules first to get him used to limits first (if he has none at this point). Just do one at a time. Expect crying, but if he's an absolute wreck, you may want to back up. Weaning is a journey and a time of learning for mom and child. You may try things that don't work. That's OK.

    I had a terrible time nightweaning, but then I handed the job over to my dh when dd turned two. It took two nights and then she STTN for a week! But then she started waking again.. exactly as much as she always did.. only she accepted other ways to get back to sleep. I kept the no nursing at night rule, but to be honest, nursing was the easiest way to get her to fall asleep until she was three. Then I think she nursed more to stay awake! And that is how she lost her nap nursing session. I told her she could nurse when she woke up. It was great incentive for her to hurry up and go to sleep!

    Let him know that he CAN get back to sleep without the breast. He won't believe you at first, but it's true he really can. And if you show him that you believe it, he will too.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    thanks for sharing your experience with me yeah see I don't expect oops that's it weaned and STTN, I think mostly I want him to realize he can fall asleep without the ninny, and even though I'm not even 100% ready to wean, I am because right now that is the ONLY thing that will get him to sleep at a normal pace kwim? he doesn't know how to self comfort yet, because he's been nursed, and cosleeping since birth, and if he wasn't in our bed he was sleeping on myself or my husband, so I do not expect it to happen fast either, but I figured it doesn't hurt to get some advice from some other great Mamas who have btdt Ty! Oh and we've decided we're going to try and get him into his own bed before we wean him from the breast entirely (cause he does only have it at bedtime/naptime now (and when he wakes @ night) which really isn't so bad (well even when he was nursing all day it wasn't bad LOL I love it), but like I said I want him to learn to self soothe)
    Last edited by GavinsMommy; December 27th, 2007 at 01:46 PM.
    Melanie
    Proud Army Wife to James
    Loving Mommy to DS Gavin: March 16, 2006 and DSS Cody: Feb 13, 1998
    Banners/Photos/HC

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    The No Cry Sleep Solution, Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book and Sleepless in America are all great books for helping you get your LO to sleep "creatively" - ie, without necessarily having to nurse every time. Good luck!

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  7. #7
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    You have a lucky kid.

    The first time my dd fell asleep without being nursed, I was kneeling at the side of her bed and she was nursing and I really had to pee. I waited and waited but she was just a chuggin' away.. Finally I told her sorry mommy's got to go potty. I'll be right back. She cried and said no no no. But I had to go. I heard her fussing as I left the room She was silent by the time I was on the toilet right across the hall. She had fallen asleep.

    She slept on her own at nap time when I took a part time time job and was away from her for 4 hours once a week. The sitter laid her down and told her it was nap time and she just went to sleep. No she didn't LEARN this. She just figured, mom's not here and this lady told me it's nap time. She wasn't about to test her limits with this person because while she was comfortable with her, it wasn't like she was family.. so when told to lay down she did and since she was used to sleeping at that time she was sleepy.. and.. well she fell asleep.

    No lessons in self-soothing before that. When the breasts were there, she wanted them. When not, she dealt with it. Learning to "self-soothe" is not as complicated as many of those books make you believe. I do not feel that falling asleep alone is an important developmental milestone that requires early instruction. By two, I believe its more a matter of preference than ability. Yes when you refuse, it's heartbreaking and frustrating and thus a distraction from sleep and an interruption in what they are used to. I don't think they cry because they CAN'T sleep without it. It's because they are hurt and angry and because they aren't enthusiastic about the change. And of course if a two year olds is suddenly left alone in a dark room for the night and ignored... well that's scary, too.

    I put nursing and non-nursing kids to sleep when I do child care, and there is rarely any crying. And except for the babies, they don't even WANT the cuddling that they get from mom. The rules are different for mom. They always will be.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    well as with everything in his life so far, I'm letting him take the lead and it's going well he is still nursing to sleep but managing to fall back asleep without ninny at some times we are still co sleeping though
    Melanie
    Proud Army Wife to James
    Loving Mommy to DS Gavin: March 16, 2006 and DSS Cody: Feb 13, 1998
    Banners/Photos/HC

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Weaning Help

    yeah thats a step.
    I found that getting them sleeping on their own was sometimes more work then it was realy worth.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    64

    Default Sleeping needs to be taught

    Check Out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. One cannot ignore the scientific evidence presented in this book. My daughter had EXTREME colic/fussiness and we got her sleeping through consitantly at 7 months. She naps 2X a Day now at 10 months as well. She is Happy and a JOY to be around. She is on a cup now (which I fiil with EBM) because she would rather be able to play while drinking! We still nurse before bed (7pm) and in the morning if she wnats to, but when she disses me I pump & give her the cup.

    I agree that sleep issues are COMPLETELY seperate from feeding issues. Thisbooks proves it with LOTS of science.

    Good luck!

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