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Thread: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons



    I learned some not so great medical news today and was told to wean my 25 month old soon "immediately". I am going to buy his favorite snacks...but beyond that, what has worked? He still loves to nurse. I am sad about this and I know that he will be sad and angry. How to wean? Should I try to leave him with my mom (who he knows and loves) for a night or two? SHould I use lemon juice or aloe vera gel ( I have heard this works)... I had wanted to let him wean naturally. I welcome anyone's suggestions, particularly anyone with successful first hand experience weaning a toddler who loves to nurse. I did leave a message with a local LLL leader I know but haven't heard back from her and as it's summer she may be on vacation....

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    Hi maurab9,
    This must be really difficult news for you.
    This online link may be a good place for you to start.
    My Doctor Says I Must Wean For Medical Reasons. What Should I Do?
    Be sure to check out the resources for additional information at the bottom.
    It may be a good idea to confirm the weaning is, in fact, medically necessary.
    This article may have helpful information as well.
    How Do I Wean My Baby?
    Let us know if there is more we can do here.
    Warmly,
    Mary

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    Thanks for your message. I did check out those articles. To be honest, I am unsure about the medical necessity because it's not about medication. It's more regarding fertility -- my situation is that I am 37 years old and started experiencing (significant!) hot flashes...so I went to my midwife had my blood tested and have FSH levels in the "post menopausal range" and "very, very low estrogen"...my periods came back just twice since I was nursing and then went away again. BY the way my midwife is very supportive of breastfeeding and says that she never advises anyone to stop, but given our situation, that is what she advises. We do want to have more children, and were about to start trying anyway. But we've been advised to wean him immediately, and start try ASAP & often...they are also going to test my prolactin levels but I need to fast & go minimum 12 hours (I have done that long before) without breast stimulation. I am scared and I will be very sad if I can't have more kids so I feel I need to heed the advice. I posted something in the fertility section too, earlier, perhaps this response belongs there...in any case thank you again.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    OK, that clarifies things a little. While maybe not a medical necessity, you and your midwife are certainly feeling like it is something of immediate concern. When are you doing the test? Do you have any flexibility? How much is your son currently nursing?

    There are several different approaches to weaning. The more time you have, the less abrupt and more gradual the process can be, and the easier it will likely be for you and your ds.

    You may be able to replace nursings with other food or drinks as well as extra attention and affection. Extra attention and physical affection while weaning may help to compensate for the loss of closeness of breastfeeding. He may need extra reassurance and "other mothering" through this time. Planning to wean may include a variety of techniques such as changing daily routines, getting help from your partner, anticipating nursings and offering substitutions or distractions.

    For more fertility info as it relates to breastfeeding, have you seen the articles here?
    Fertility
    Especially these articles - Boosting Fertility while Breastfeeding, Fertility and Night Nursing, (not so young) Mothers and Breastfeeding (at the bottom there's a section on hormonal influences and having another baby).

    Warmly,
    Mary
    Last edited by @llli*LLLMaryP; June 21st, 2006 at 10:22 PM.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    will it be night nursing sessions that will be hard to quit?

    i wish you luck. I'm currently night weaning my daughter and am making a bit of progress.

    she nurses very little in the day and mostly at night.

    what i did was quit the night nursing in the bed, and moved it to the couch.

    i nurse her there and she nurses till she's almost asleep.
    then i move her to the bed, and she goes to sleep on her own.

    she still wakes a bit - but this has really helped us cut down on the duration of the nursing sessions.

    good luck to you. this is not easy, but you'll get through it!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    Mary P & Eyeagnus thanks to both of you for your replies.

    This topic is literally keeping me up at night, and I really appreciate your thoughts and ideas. I have taken a look at some of those additional articles, and will have to do additional research and reading. In terms of the test I am supposed to do it ASAP...I would have to do it in the a.m. so it would be mean a night of weaning...

    My ds was actually close to night weaned about six weeks ago and then we had to let our nanny go (suddenly) and my son had to start a day care situation. He's there about 7 hours per day, 5 days per week and it is a high quality place, I know other families who have used it successfully for years. But of course it was a very big adjustment for all of us, and his nursing has significantly increased during this transition phase.

    It is starting to decrease again. However, he is used to nursing after I get home from work (but we have successfully delayed this one a little) and then at will during the evening (used to be less, now usually several short "check ins") on weekends, and at bed time. Last night at bed time I did nurse him but then told him (sadly) "Buh buhs (our word for nursing) have boo boos" and that soon we would have to say "bye bye to buh buhs." I was amazed when he said back to me "Buh buhs have boo boos", stopped nursing, and I sang him to sleep while stroking his hair, so that felt like progress.

    We have been co sleeping but since he was 18 months old he's been at a little bed at the foot of our bed, and then coming into our bed in the middle of the night. I have to be at my workplace at 7:00 a.m. so before his daycare situation began I would slip out while he was still asleep next to my dh, and he usually did one early morning nurse while still asleep around 5 a.m. but the night nursing had thankfully dwindled. With the new situation, he has been nursing more at night again and getting up with me and sometimes wanting to nurse in the a.m. too.

    I think I am just going to really try to cut back & delay bit by bit but more accelerated then I had ever hoped...I was shocked that he seemed to understand that we needed to cut back on the buh buhs so I think I will continue to try to explain to him of course as well.


    Thank you again.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    You've got a lot going on, with recent daycare changes and then trying to balance your desires for another child with meeting the needs of your son.
    It is amazing how understanding they can be with some explanations of what's going on. It sounds like he really understood.
    Good luck as you work through this! Be sure to keep us updated.

    Mary

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    You'd be amazed at how much he understands now at his age.
    Keep talking to him and tell him the situation isn't easy.
    A friend of mine (who was no longer nursing) was having sleep battles for months with her dd. At 25 months, she got to where she could finally leave her in her bed, and say goodnight - and she'd go down on her own.
    But she said they had to talk about it a lot before and she just kept explaining to her that it was getting too hard for mommy and the struggles were not making them happy.

    Good luck - keep us posted on the progress.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    I did wean my son as every medical professional I spoke with told me I had to for them to truly evaluate my situation, which sadly, is most likely premature ovarian failure, aka early menopause. I am 37 and have been told I have about an 8% chance of ovulating again. Needless to say, we are totally devastated. Western medicine basically won't treat you, it's just HRT or a donor egg, so I am going to try accupuncture and herbal remedies (TCM)...

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Help -- Have Been Told to Wean Immeditately for Medical Reasons

    Good luck getting pregnant again.

    A lady from my LLL group nursed an adopted DD. Might that be an option? (I know that's an extremely personal decision, but I did want to share that I had known someone who nursed an adopted baby successfully.)

    It really is amazing how much toddlers can understand, and how willing they are to help you. My DD1 weaned while I was pregnant w/ DD2, at about the same age as your son. She understood that Mommy's milkies were red and sore and was happy with stories, cuddles, and other drinks.

    Again, I wish you the best of luck having another baby.

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