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Thread: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    41

    Unhappy Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    after all this time?

    Ok. I am feeling very discouraged.

    I have bf Caiden exclusively since birth and always fed him on one breast per feeding. Lately, it has been every 2.5 hours-pretty much-all day AND throughout the night (still).
    I found if I feed him more than one breast at a time, he gets incredibly full and seems to spit most of (the 2nd feeding) up.

    I have always had a very quick, full and extremely strong let down. He has been gaining weight regularly (as of last month- he is just over the 50th percentile--4mo. well visit next week).

    *Is my baby supposed to be sleeping through the night? He's not. Not even close. He actually seems to be more agitated lately and when wakes in the night, tends to fuss/cry/wail until fed.

    *If this is a growth spurt---it seems to have been going on for a good 3 weeks now.

    *Could it be teething? He seems to use my nipple lately as a chew toy and fusses dramatically.

    *I am due to get my AF (which returned last month) and wondering if it had to do with the taste-change in my milk?

    *I am worried that, because I find myself so exhausted in the middle of the night , I am not sure if he is hungry or gassy or teething or needs comfort...so I feed him.

    Ughhhh.........I really try not to compare....but it's hard when Caiden seems to be the only one 'his' age, that does not yet sleep through the night, or who only still feeds on one breast....

    Any suggestions? Advice? Shoulders to cry on?

    Becca

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    1,064

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    This sounds completely normal to me. I have actually read/heard that it common for babies to start waking *more* frequently around this age, and that was true for my DS. As they get a bit older, babies start to become more alert and aware of their environment. The extreme sleepiness of being a newborn starts to wear off. When they wake during the night, they want MOM. That's completely normal. Anthropological studies have shown that it is actually ABNORMAL for babies to sleep through the night until a MUCH older age than we in modern culture expect them to. Their sleep cycles are different, and they are biologically set up to NOT sleep too soundly for too long (so as to help prevent SIDS or other threats to their well being). My DS slept nice 4 hour stretches consistently until around 4 months old. He then started waking more frequently (every 1-2 hours), and didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 1/2 years old. (He still often wakes once or twice at night and needs his covers adjusted, etc. and he's 3 1/2 now and no longer nursing.) So, I definitely know how you feel. During the time that he woke a lot, I coped by going to bed when he did at night, taking naps with him sometimes during the day, and co-sleeping. I was never able to sleep through his nursing as some moms can, but by nursing laying down I was able to fall back to sleep much more quickly. I really tried to keep moving around/getting up to a minimum.

    I think you will find MANY other moms here with babies who do not sleep through the night. So, this is a great place to come for support. It's hard when it seems to be a "good baby" contest and whichever baby sleeps longest wins. Personally, I think many people exaggerate how well their babies sleep anyway . While it is difficult to have a baby that is not a "good sleeper" it is easier when you know you are not alone and aren't doing anything "wrong".

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    1,721

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    I have bf Caiden exclusively since birth and always fed him on one breast per feeding. Lately, it has been every 2.5 hours-pretty much-all day AND throughout the night (still).
    Completely normal for a baby to eat that frequently - some with older babies are still woken up every 1-2 hours at night
    Is my baby supposed to be sleeping through the night? He's not. Not even close. He actually seems to be more agitated lately and when wakes in the night, tends to fuss/cry/wail until fed.
    Many babies don't sleep through the night until older, mine is almost 5 months and still not "sleeping through the night", but that's okay. Completely normal. Babies sleeping through the night are actually less common IMO. My 8 year old still regularly wakes once in the night to use the bathroom, granted he doesn't have to wake me up to do it, I'm usually up with the baby.

    If this is a growth spurt---it seems to have been going on for a good 3 weeks now.
    The 4 month spurt was hard for us, it was all about finding out what works now vs. what used to work. Because, what used to work, may not work ever again. Silly babies!

    Could it be teething? He seems to use my nipple lately as a chew toy and fusses dramatically.
    Could be, my LO's been showing signs of teething for a couple months - but no teeth yet.

    I am worried that, because I find myself so exhausted in the middle of the night , I am not sure if he is hungry or gassy or teething or needs comfort...so I feed him.
    I rarely burp my LO during the night. If she wakes I nurse her back down and we go back to sleep. (I've done the non-cosleeping thing before too and nurse her and lay her back down without messing with waking her back up just to burp). If comfort is what's needed, then nursing is perfect for that. IME if baby is gassy, baby won't nurse. Mine will turn away from the breast, cry, fuss, scream, all of it untill she gets that gas out. Sometimes she will latch on when gassy, and clamp down and grunt, so I unlatch her and do my best to help her toot or burp as much as possible.

    Ughhhh.........I really try not to compare....but it's hard when Caiden seems to be the only one 'his' age, that does not yet sleep through the night, or who only still feeds on one breast....
    Oh, no, he's not the only one! Because you have OALD (over active let down) nursing one one side is a good thing, have you done block feeding too? I only nurse on one side per feed, I can count the number of times I've switched in a feed on one hand! DD2 isn't sleeping through the night (as I already said) and I don't expect her to any time soon. My older DC started sleeping through the night at about 9 - 10 months old - and they were formula fed!

    You're doing the very best for your baby, ignore those who say you're doing something wrong, or those who have horrible advice. Only you can care for your baby how you do!

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    Oops, I wanted to add that my DS only fed on one breast per feeding until he was around 8 or 9 months old I think. Don't worry about that. Do what works for you.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    Quote Originally Posted by familybeauty View Post
    after all this time?

    Ok. I am feeling very discouraged.

    I have bf Caiden exclusively since birth and always fed him on one breast per feeding. Lately, it has been every 2.5 hours-pretty much-all day AND throughout the night (still).
    I found if I feed him more than one breast at a time, he gets incredibly full and seems to spit most of (the 2nd feeding) up.

    I have always had a very quick, full and extremely strong let down. He has been gaining weight regularly (as of last month- he is just over the 50th percentile--4mo. well visit next week).

    *Is my baby supposed to be sleeping through the night? He's not. Not even close. He actually seems to be more agitated lately and when wakes in the night, tends to fuss/cry/wail until fed.
    My child STILL doesn't sleep through the night and he will be a year in 13 days. he gets up about 2x a night. At 5 mo things got better. At 6 moit got worse. He knew I was gone and the "out of sight out of mind" thing was gone so it meant he missed me ahahha yeah I know, it doesnt help when ur eyes are trying to shut

    *If this is a growth spurt---it seems to have been going on for a good 3 weeks now.

    *Could it be teething? He seems to use my nipple lately as a chew toy and fusses dramatically.
    could be both

    *I am due to get my AF (which returned last month) and wondering if it had to do with the taste-change in my milk?
    I still dont have mine so I dont know

    *I am worried that, because I find myself so exhausted in the middle of the night , I am not sure if he is hungry or gassy or teething or needs comfort...so I feed him.
    I did that too. It works.. and when u can function better you willl try other stuff. Maybe dad can help? try rocking a while before you get involved

    Ughhhh.........I really try not to compare....but it's hard when Caiden seems to be the only one 'his' age, that does not yet sleep through the night, or who only still feeds on one breast....
    Not true......it just seems that way because people think they are right and want to convince you you are wrong and blah blah blah.....you ar not alone I have been there and still am to a degree

    Any suggestions? Advice? Shoulders to cry on?

    Becca
    It gets better!!!!!!
    Danielle

    Mom to Gage 12/28/06

    Wife to Trinity 6/21/03 my best friend

    ed for year, finally done!!!!
    for more than a year now!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    213

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    Quote Originally Posted by familybeauty View Post
    Ughhhh.........I really try not to compare....but it's hard when Caiden seems to be the only one 'his' age, that does not yet sleep through the night, or who only still feeds on one breast....
    never underestimate the PCD (parental competition device)!!!
    it acts up when parents talk to other parents and seems unstoppable, even for nice, smart, educated people

    one breast is fine, if the baby thrives... mine is almost 8 mo and still nurses only on one side (and he is a very healthy, happy baby!)

    you are not alone, maybe you are only more sincere than the people you talk to

    (ah, yes, DS is waking every 2 1/2 hours too at night... just to add my numbers to your *new* statistic )

    take care!
    yes, my son comfort nurses, and I comfort forum!
    teeth counter now scoring: 11!
    WAHM (though hubby behaves like I'm a SAHM) to Luca Johannes, born 23/04/2007
    as well as his great-grandmother (23/04/1916) and his aunt (23/04/1972)
    - both delighted by the generational continuity...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    760

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    *Is my baby supposed to be sleeping through the night? He's not. Not even close. He actually seems to be more agitated lately and when wakes in the night, tends to fuss/cry/wail until fed.


    Ughhhh.........I really try not to compare....but it's hard when Caiden seems to be the only one 'his' age, that does not yet sleep through the night, or who only still feeds on one breast....



    Hang in there. My son is almost 10 months old and he still wakes up frequently during the night. So you are not alone and I think it is pretty normal that he wakes up during the night at that age. Good Luck.
    Mom to Wayne since 02.24.2007
    AND
    Keeran 07.19.2010

    My kids are my life!

    You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them - Desmond Tutu

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    568

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....


    All the pps got it so right. Not much to add apart from that you can obviously see that your LO is just like most of ours!! Keep up what you're doing mama, it's great.
    Claire, Mum to Archie, 5 and Jack, almost 3! Number 3 on the way!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    987

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....



    DD is 9 mos old and she will only take one side per feeding. That is what is normal for us. I also have a very strong let-down.

    She also does not sleep through the night! She is up every 2-3 hours. I survive by taking naps with her during the day. When she was 4 mos old I wore her constantly so that I could get a few things done while she was awake.

    I wouldn't worry. Your LO is just being a baby! Remember babies can't read books, clocks, or growth charts but they are great at reading emotions! (There are nights when I tell Abby if she gets up again I am going to put her out with the garbage. I guess she knows I am joking because she always laughs.) The best thing you can do is just love him! You are doing a great job!!! I was very worn out around 4 mos. I mastered the art of co-sleeping topless so that DD could self-serve. It gets me a few more minutes of sleep!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    220

    Default Re: Maybe I don't know how to bf....

    I've been proud to say my LO sleeps 6-7 hours, then feeds twice in the nighttime before we get up for the day.........
    but what I didn't ever say was that he actually wakes up about 10 times where I give him a pacifier to help him get back to sleep.... so he doesn't actually "sleep" through the night.

    My LO is just over 4 months now, and has only ever fed off one side at a time, and is COMPLETELY thriving that way (I didn't know it was wierd not to ).

    I think you are doing a great job tending to your baby's needs. So far as I can tell, it just gets a little easier as you go along.


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