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Thread: How to do as gently as possible (long)

  1. #1
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    Default How to do as gently as possible (long)

    I am aiming towards weaning about 1 year of age. My DH and I discussed this as a compromise - I originally was going to BF for 3 months, then 6, then a year...

    It's important to my DH that my DS is weaned about 1 year for many reasons. If this is important to my DH, it's imperative that I make an effort to do even if at this point I feel as if I could BF for the next 15 years.

    So, how? I've read lots of weaning info and have a general idea of don't ask, don't refuse, dropping nursing sessions etc, but still feel as if I need guidance from Mom's who have BTDT successfully.

    I might add it's important to my DH that my DS not cry either (yes, my DH is sometimes impossible!) but my DS hardly cries, partly because he's just a happy type, but partly because he's had extreme APing for the past 6 months.

    He is taking one solids meal a day now - so that's one nursing time that's already been dropped. THis is about 1 hour before bedtime, then he's nursed to sleep...so not really sure if that's a dropped session or not.

    I plan to start him on a second solid meal a day in January, then a 3rd in February. Currently his meal is about 2 ounces of banana, apple or sweet potato. Not sure if that's important to know.

    Okay, now, I want to make sure he's getting proper nutrition. My goal is no formula at all...so how do I do this? I know he needs lots of BM nutrition during the first year. Can I begin the weaning before the year is up, or will that depend on how his solids eating is going ( He LOVES food and eating so far...)

    I also co-sleep, so night-weaning will probably be the last to go. I know DH isn't gonna be thrilled with crying at night )which our DS has NEVER done...

    I am just getting freaked out about it all. My DH and I have had several recent conversations about it and I just want to do it with as little stress to my DS as possible, while still being sensitive to the needs of my DH. We have discussed that I'll need to be particulary careful around teething time etc...so there is some leeway here.

    Any advice? Thanks ladies.
    Kat

    SAHM mom to Richard, born 6/6/07 at 8 pounds, now 27!

    Wife to Michael for 13 years

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    http://www.llli.org/NB/NBweaning.html

    heres a start with the links to weaning here at the web site.

    heres a great one on how to start.
    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html

    go slowly with love and give your child to time to get used to each missed feed.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    Yeah, DH sounds pretty unreasonable to me. Maybe he could give you some advice since he's dictating everything else. :rolleyes Sorry, didn't mean that to come out so sarcastic.

    I just watched a teeny bit of "Bringing Home Baby" today, which I usually never watch. They were having their 2nd child and the dad said something like, "with this one I feel more comfortable that I know what to do with her... give her to her mother." I just thought that was great. I'm not a man-hater, and my DH is great, but sometimes the best thing is to step aside - like, when BF is involved. JMO

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    My first thought was that your DH was sounding unreasonable as well, BUT of course I do not know his reasons, and you are not required to share. I just wonder if the Momma is going to be okay with all this?

    If you like the benefits of breastmilk, could you maybe pump? and give him the milk to keep out formula? when my dd weaned, she didn't want to, but didn't get overly upset when I stopped. Good luck, and I hope that EVERYONE's best interests are discussed.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    I found that Aaron took to cow's milk pretty well after a year. He didn't completely stop nursing, but we did some cow's and some mama's milk for a good while. (5 months +) Can you maybe compromise like that? Can your LO have cow's milk? Usually they don't "bam" wean at 1 but you can start introducinig more foods to sped up the process. I did find that I couldn't call milk "milk" because he thought that was "mama milk". I had to give it a new name and called it "cow juice". Then he would drink it. I hope you're ok with weaning for you and the baby, too.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    thanks, my dh sounds unreasonable, but when it comes to DS, he is a mush. So I have a feeling that the weaning will be slow, and all three of us will probably be happy with it.

    I've been leaving reading for my DH, and talking about it all, so he's understanding that the need isn't purely nutritional.

    I just want to show that I am making an effort, and I am trying to include DH in as many decisions as possible.
    Kat

    SAHM mom to Richard, born 6/6/07 at 8 pounds, now 27!

    Wife to Michael for 13 years

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    yeah once you add solids your on the way to weaning..
    Go slow and watch baby for signs of stress..
    With a baby that young its going to be a few steps back for every step forward. And thats ok.
    SOmetimes they will have days whenall they want to do is nurse like when they are not fealing well.
    And trying other things will just take more engery then just nursing!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    Honestly, I feel that BFing decisions are up to momma and baby only. DH doesn't get a say in it. Sure, he can say something, but the final decision is momma and baby's.

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueKat View Post
    thanks, my dh sounds unreasonable, but when it comes to DS, he is a mush. So I have a feeling that the weaning will be slow, and all three of us will probably be happy with it.

    I've been leaving reading for my DH, and talking about it all, so he's understanding that the need isn't purely nutritional.

    I just want to show that I am making an effort, and I am trying to include DH in as many decisions as possible.
    I just wanted to add that www.kellymom.com has some good info on how to introduce solids that includes a discussion of nutrition (benefits of BM) and the progression to weaning. Something like, 25% solids at one year, 50% at 18 months, 75% solids at 2 years (as an example of how slow to go, depending on your "goal" age to wean). I read it to my DH when we started solids with DD and it seemed to help his understanding of the process greatly.

    I know all about those "tough" guys that can't handle seeing their LO under stress AT ALL!!

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How to do as gently as possible (long)

    This is gonna sound so lame, but I think he's partly jealous of DS and my bond, and ready for a "bog boy"...and I think also some of his family members have called my DS a mama's boy. Um, he's 6 months old!

    But whatever. I also think DH has trouble differentiating sexy wife and mama...

    I think more realistically we will wean around 18 months, but we will see I suppose.

    My DH had a hard time with BF at first, we don't know anyone who BF more than 3 months, so he has definetly come around. Just needs to keep being reminded how great BF is.
    Kat

    SAHM mom to Richard, born 6/6/07 at 8 pounds, now 27!

    Wife to Michael for 13 years

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