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Thread: In-laws and Weaning.

  1. #1
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    Jan 2006
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    Angry In-laws and Weaning.

    Sorry if this post doesnt belong here.
    After several week of discussions between myself, my partner and my HV we came to the discission that DD was ready to start weaning. We are trying like most parents to introduce things one at a time to make sure thereis not reaciton. My problem is my In-laws. I work part time and while i am away from DD my partners father and mother looks after DD. I always pack her food and expresed milk for them to give her so there is no need for them to give her anything else.
    I was around at their house the other day and they started to make comment about them giving her potatos and carrots and other veg while i was at work. They never ask if this was ok and never told me when they were going to it. I feel so ill about it. If they said 'would you mind us trying this' then i wouldnt have an issue but they didnt, they are feeding her things and not telling me. I really dont know what to. DD could have a reaction to something and i would never know what has caused it.
    I asked them if they would mind letting me know 'if' they give her anything during the day when i come to pick her up but they are still not doing this. My partner tried to talk to his mum about it and she just shrugged and ignored his coments. I'm so angry with them. I'm even considering looking at private care so she isnt with them! I really dont know what to do.
    Last edited by Katieilc; June 17th, 2006 at 04:15 AM.

  2. #2
    lilysmommy is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    We have had to lay down the law with my In-laws! Good luck.. we feel your pain.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    I'm even considering looking at private care so she isnt with them! I really dont know what to do.
    That's exactly what I would do! If they can respect something so simple I wouldn't trust them at all.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    Definately look into some other care situation!

    Btw, I think this topic would better fit in the "Introducing Solids" forum.

  5. #5
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    I would make it clear that introducing new foods without your guidance is a no-no for SO many reasons (allergies as number one). I was fortunate not to have this problem since DD stays with daddy and a few in-home helpers that we have during the day, but I feel your pain with deailing with the in-laws for other things. One thing that might help is that I gave my in-home helpers a list of "foods we have introduced" so they knew what they could/could not offer her. Now that she is almost a year, the list is more of a "no-no" list (things she can't have yet like cow's milk, chocolate, strawberries, peanut butter, etc.). If they are your child care, then they need to respect your child's health and nutrition needs (regardless of the family bond). Otherwise, I agree that you need to go elsewhere. I always find that the "our pediatrician says we should..." argument goes a long way. Maybe you can use that in talking to them so it's not just what you want as a parent. It doesn't even need to be your ped's advice exactly (but more of what you want). They'll never know one way or the other!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    I would hold grandparents to the same standard that I would any daycare provider. It is unacceptable for them not to follow your guidelines for care and I hope that you can discuss it with them and that they can understand where you are coming from.

    I've figured that your baby is probably about 9 months from previous posts. By LLL standards, it is acceptable to be introducing solids, but you are wise to be cautious about starting them quickly, all at once and to know what is being given in case there is a reaction. LLL also suggests nursing for at least one year, and it looks like you're getting there! Think of it this way...the first time your baby had anything other than human milk, you started the weaning process, so although it may not happen overnight (and likely shouldn't for the comfort of you AND baby), it is possible to gradually wean your baby with attention to their needs.
    Last edited by LLLErin; June 24th, 2006 at 09:43 PM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    Jessie is about 7 mnths now, and the worst that could have happened has happened. the in-laws gave her carrott and she didnt react too well to it. She was sick for most of the weekend (kept bringing chunks of it back and wouldnt take anything but milk) for once they had told me what they had given her which is all i ever ask for (i respect shes been a parent before and trust her judgement - i just dont always agree with her methods) I was really calm about it, but my partner flipped!i! no i've got the problems of she doesnt want to feed jessie unless i'm around!i! we seem to be going from one severity (not sure if thats the right spelling)to another.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    well, i guess they learned their lesson, at the expense of your dd.
    ugh!! in-laws!!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: In-laws and Weaning.

    British - American vocabulary note:
    HV = health visitor, a nurse responsible for well-child issues
    weaning in UK = introducing anything other than breastfeeding, esp. beginning solids
    weaning in US = process of stopping BF (subtle difference of emphasis)

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