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Thread: Still not latching...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    180

    Default Still not latching...

    I just received my SNS in the mail yesterday (thank you Corey0902!!!) and after months of trying to get baby to latch onto the breast she STILL won't do it, even with a constant milk flow. I've tried offering her the breast with and without the SNS, with and without a nipple shield, at different times of the day, when she is sleepy, when she's hungry, sitting up position, lying down position, clutch hold, football hold, while she's playing and smiling, while she's laughing, when she's upset for comfort nursing....etc etc etc...We've weaned her from her pacifier except for naptime and bedtime only.
    I even tried being a little more drastic and not offering the bottle, thinking she would take the breast if she were hungry enough. Nope, she just cries and cries and refuses to even put her mouth near my breast. So we both ended up crying for a while today. I feel like this is it....like I've done all I can. I've gotten my supply up to 3 ounces a day and have a decent letdown in the morning. I keep pumping, taking oatmeal and fenugreek and it's not increasing any more than that.
    I think I should just stop trying to nurse her now. It's been about 2 months and there hasn't been much progress. I'll just pump until my supply runs out again. Of course I'll do my best to keep it up but I have to work too and my supply seems to drop when I pump and work.
    I really did my best, but it still feels like I failed.

    If I ever have another baby I am not going to stop nursing, no matter what.
    Last edited by a_hex; December 11th, 2007 at 06:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    231

    Default Re: Still not latching...

    You poor girl!! you need mucho 's. I know you've tried everything, but have you tried to nurse in a nice warm bathtub? Leave the plug out slightly, and the water running. That will not only keep the bath warm, but it is a relaxing sound. Try just cuddling on your chest, she might start "bobbing for boobies". Again, mucho :&!

  3. #3
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    Jul 2007
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    Default Re: Still not latching...

    I've tried the warm bath together several times...but not with the water running. Maybe we'll give that a shot tonight.
    Thanks for the hugs. I need them!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: Still not latching...

    Quote Originally Posted by a_hex View Post
    I've tried the warm bath together several times...but not with the water running. Maybe we'll give that a shot tonight.
    Thanks for the hugs. I need them!
    I hope that will help relax both of you, maybe if you light a candle or 2 and put on your fav music, you'll be able to relax a little more.

    You are very welcome for the hugs, you are lucky to have found these forums when you needed your hugs. I didn't find them until after the latch issues, after the thrush, and after the dr tried to put Kayden on formula and I had to BEG for ONE MORE WEEK to make weight. Not to mention my dh returning to work 1 wk after he was born (he'd been off for 3 mo because of a remodel). Finally everything, at least in the bfing dept., has worked itself out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    246

    Default Re: Still not latching...

    A Hex, don't quit today. You can always quit latter. Get some sleep. Take a break from worrying about the latch, but don't quit, yet.

    There is a fighter in you that is a rare trait. I can tell that you go after something with a fierceness and tackle things. You stick things out. You make things work. So far, YOU have done your part. You have overcome great obstacles to get to 3 ounces. When I got to 3 ounces, I could not believe how much work it took me to get to that point. I thought I couldn't stand it any longer. And what did everyone tell me? They said I had "made it over the hump"! I thought they were nuts. I thought I had no more to give.

    So I am giving you this challenge. This is Tuesday. Make it work for one more week. Your milk will start going up again, whether she latches yet or not. As your milk increases higher, she will eventually latch. Really. She will.

    Have you had a period yet? Is it about that time (whether or not you actually have AF or spotting)? Because I know my body pulls back and won't increase around that time and I want to quit. I am also more emotional. If this is a possibility, take a deep breath and know that in just a few days, things will seem better.


    Your doing this. It may not seem like it, but your are doing a terrific job.

  6. #6
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    Jul 2007
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    180

    Default Re: Still not latching...

    Quote Originally Posted by relactatingmomforthelord View Post
    A Hex, don't quit today. You can always quit latter. Get some sleep. Take a break from worrying about the latch, but don't quit, yet.

    There is a fighter in you that is a rare trait. I can tell that you go after something with a fierceness and tackle things. You stick things out. You make things work. So far, YOU have done your part. You have overcome great obstacles to get to 3 ounces. When I got to 3 ounces, I could not believe how much work it took me to get to that point. I thought I couldn't stand it any longer. And what did everyone tell me? They said I had "made it over the hump"! I thought they were nuts. I thought I had no more to give.

    So I am giving you this challenge. This is Tuesday. Make it work for one more week. Your milk will start going up again, whether she latches yet or not. As your milk increases higher, she will eventually latch. Really. She will.

    Have you had a period yet? Is it about that time (whether or not you actually have AF or spotting)? Because I know my body pulls back and won't increase around that time and I want to quit. I am also more emotional. If this is a possibility, take a deep breath and know that in just a few days, things will seem better.


    Your doing this. It may not seem like it, but your are doing a terrific job.
    YES! It does feel that way. Like I have done so much freakin work just to have a little milk line the bottom of the bottles each time. It's so time consuming and I feel bad when I skip a pump but sometimes other things in life take priority. I just want to have like, HALF the milk I had originally when I was suffering from oversupply! I think about how abundant the milk was then and feel so stupid for letting it all dry up. We had so many problems aside from me needing to go to work. I had 3 (or 4?) plugged ducts, the baby had thrush on her tongue, I had overactive letdown (which was unbelievably painful) and huge amounts of milk spilling from me hourly, not to mention I was a new mom and freaking out because she didn't nap like "normal" babies and I thought she wasn't getting enough hindmilk. I remember calling my midwife hysterical because I thought I had mastitis and that the baby wasn't sleeping enough.
    I personally also hated the feeling of being held down and sucked on for such a long time. It literally ate up my whole day just nursing her, maybe having a shower or getting something to eat. I felt undernourished and started to think that nursing was detrimental to my health and I couldn't be able to properly or sanely care for my child.

    I remember the sick and guilty relief I felt when I finally gave her the formula. Oh how I wish I didn't have to. It ate me up inside and it still does.

    I had to go back to work at 5 weeks PP. I got my period right around then, because I weaned her except for about 4 ounces a day. It slowly decreased from there. My periods come regularly now and they are very heavy.

    I didn't keep her at the breast - just went straight to bottles because I thought she would have nipple confusion and not take the bottle, and I somehow thought it would be easier and less time consuming. Duh. I was so wrong!

    I know the choice I made was for survival of our family and my own sanity, not for optimal health of my baby. And when I think about it, that IS the most important thing to me. We're moving back to NY to be with my family so that we can have a healthier lifestyle and we can have more help with raising her. When I became a mother I decided that I would always do what's best for her. That is why I am struggling with this. That is why I felt that I can't give up.
    Right now though it seems like I have tried all I can. Do you really think she will try to latch if there is more milk? How does she know it is there if she doesn't even suck? It seems like she didn't care about the milk in the SNS at all. She has a severe aversion to my breast, unless she can use it for biting.
    Last edited by a_hex; December 12th, 2007 at 02:59 AM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Still not latching...


  8. #8
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    Default Re: Still not latching...

    A Hex, don't quit today. You can always quit latter. Get some sleep. Take a break from worrying about the latch, but don't quit, yet.

    I agree with this, I know it seems futile, but when you wake up every morning, say to yourself "Don't worry about tomorrow, it's not here yet anyway. Today is going to be the best day ever and I'm going to try to pump 4oz."

    Say that for a week, then increase it every couple of weeks. Maybe that will help you stick it out. You've gone from lining the bottle to 3 oz in a month(??). That is very good progress!!! If you quit all that work will have been for nothing, even if she's not getting the milk directly from your breast she is still getting the benefits from the milk in the bottle.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Still not latching...



    A Hex, don't quit today. You can always quit latter. Get some sleep. Take a break from worrying about the latch, but don't quit, yet.
    Ditto.

    How are you doing for skin to skin contact? Do you wear her in a sling or other soft carrier? This can make a big difference in encouraging a reluctant baby to latch.

    Have you tried giving her a little bit from the bottle to take the edge off her hunger, and then switching her to the breast?

    Here's something else you could try. I'm having a hard time accessing the original link to the information, so I will simply quote it here:

    First, only mom feeds the baby (both solids and bottles). Baby is always held by mom when being fed.

    Don’t allow baby to hold his own bottle. If baby is used to holding his own bottle you may need to gradually get him used to you holding it. Put a sock over it so that it looks more like a piece of clothing than a bottle.

    When baby is comfortable with mom holding the bottle, and being held by mom while feeding you are ready to try the at breast supplementer (abs).

    The first step is to thread the tube of the abs through the nipple he usually takes, and feed him that way (you can use a tapestry needle to thread supplementer tube into the nipple. it only needs to stick out a little).

    Next, move the bottle nipple over your own nipple.

    Once he is comfortable sucking on the nipple with the abs over your nipple you are ready to try and move him to your breast. Toward the end of the feeding try and switch him to your breast.

    You may try to feed at first with the abs (even if you have a good supply) as baby may like the faster flow he is used to getting from the bottle. You can eventually wean off of the abs (usually very quickly if you have a good supply).
    Maybe that might work for you?

    HTH. Hang in there!

    Tiana

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    246

    Default Re: Still not latching...

    What LLLTiana said is exactly what I did. I didn't know that it was from "somewhere," it just made since to me, so I did it.

    A-Hex, can you take the SNS and thread it through your daughter's bottle nipple and then put the bottle nipple over your breast and feed her like you were breast feeding? This is what I did before he took the SNS.

    I can SOOOO relate to where you are right now. I wanted to scream and cry and yell how it was so not fair. (I never have had enough milk with this birth). God sent me to scripture and reminded me that he wanted me to persevere.

    It took a LOT of work to get him back to the breast. Try the bottle nipple over the breast. It is a baby step. Let me know. Post several times day if you need to. I'm here.

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