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Thread: Very Worried - Please Help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    5

    Default Very Worried - Please Help!

    I have a lot of concerns about my son's eating habits.

    My son is ten months old, and I have been nursing him since birth. Nursing has never been a problem - Evan absolutely loves nursing. I returned to work part-time when he was 3 months old, and he refused to drink from a bottle. We tried for months to get him to drink from a bottle - it never took. I work part-time, so while he is at daycare, he drinks my expressed brest milk from a sippy cup. In a way, I think this is better since we will never have to wean him from a bottle!

    Because he wasn’t drinking much at first from the cup and he stopped sleeping through the night, my doctor advised me to have the daycare providers feed him baby cereal starting at 4 months and strained veggies and fruits at 6 months. At first, he ate very well, opening his mouth for the food and accepting the spoon with no problem. At around 6 months he started drinking from the cup well, holding it with his own hands.

    He started teething at 8 months, and that is when his eating problems started. For the past few months, he has been refusing to eat baby food. He will eat a few bites of finger foods and table food (cheerios, veggie puffs, pieces of cheese sandwiches, cooked veggies, etc.) but not much. He still nurses like a champ and drinks the expressed breastmilk from a cup, but he refuses to open his mouth to allow in a spoon, and he takes only a few bites of finger foods and then starts whining and screaming to be let out of the high chair. I have tried feeding him in places other than the high chair, such as my lap, a regular chair, the bouncy seat. Nothing works.

    My concern is that he is not eating enough solid food. He still wakes 3 or 4 times a night to nurse (we cosleep), and I believe this is because he isn't eating enough during the day, but he nurses frequently throughout the day. He has very loose stool, and my friend whose son is 6 months old and who is eating solid food regularly says that her son has more adult-like stools (he, too, is still breastfed).

    My son gained only two pounds between his six-month and nine-month checkups - the doctor was slightly concerned but said not to worry yet. But I am worried that maybe nursing is keeping him from eating solid food. And both my husband and my son's daycare provider have been consistently telling me I should wean my son from the breast, but I feel that I should leave that up to him - that he will wean himself when he is ready. At the very least, I was hoping to breast-feed for a full year, preferably at least 18 months - he is now only 10 months old.

    I would appreciate any help you can give me. Should I be concerned that he is not eating solid food? Should I nurse less frequently? Should I force feed solid food? Should I stop co-sleeping. I am very concerned that my son is not getting adequate nutrition. He is a very active and happy baby - he just doesn't seem to enjoy eating!

    I wish that I could stay home with him full-time, but unfortunately we cannot pay our bills without my salary, and my job has better healthcare. Most of the info I have found on the subject of picky eaters has tips directed to stay-at-home moms.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    37

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Until your doctor tells you to worry then don't worry. He may have had a frightening experience with feeding ( sorry I just don't trust daycare centers LOL) When I was forced to work outside the home I always had a trusted family member or friend do the watching LOL (Bad experience at Daycare centers). Do they expect you to stop pumping too? Are you supposed to start giving him formula? He isn't old enough for cows milk. His teething and subsiquent food strike is curious for me. Your son isn't going to like being weaned it will probably tramatic for him since he doesn't like the bottle.

    I guess LOL I'd get offended becuase I know that my milk would be suffiecient nutrition for the first year. And as well meaning as your husband and daycare provider are I don't feel they are giving you good advice. But please remember this is ALL my personal opionion. There is no medical background for it just gut instinct.
    Last edited by Corina; June 16th, 2006 at 09:29 AM.

  3. #3
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    Jun 2006
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    5

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Thanks for your response! Honestly, I don't like most daycare centers either. But the one I chose is really great for the most part, and I really love the two women that are full-time in the infant room. Despite the older woman's constant questions about when I'm going to wean my son from the breast, she is great. They have always been really great with my son; even though he is the only baby they have ever seen to refuse a bottle, they have always worked with him patiently and helped me in getting him to drink from a sippy cup. I think the problem is he is 10 months old now, nearly 11 months, and they are starting to favor the newer babies (he was the favorite for a long time because is so sweet and happy and personable all the time.) I just don't think they want to devote as much time to helping him eat as they used to. That's why my husband and I tried to find a way for me to stay home full-time. But even if we cut out every non-necessity, we still are $500 short of paying our immediate bills. (My husband racked up a lot of debt when he got divorced from his first wife, plus we pay child support for his daughter.) I still trust these women with my son, I just don't think they give him the undivided attention I would love for him to have. But, fortunately, he is only in daycare 3 days a week.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    447

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mommy2Evan
    Should I be concerned that he is not eating solid food? Should I nurse less frequently? Should I force feed solid food? Should I stop co-sleeping.
    No.
    No.
    Definately not.
    Only if you want to.

    I would not be concerend at all about your son's weight. Many babies do not gain at all btwn 6 and 9 mo, so 2 lbs sounds great to me. That is an age when babies naturally slow in their weightgain, and also a time when they are becoming much more active with crawling, crusing, etc.

    Breastmilk is higher in fat and calories than nearly any other food you could offer to a baby: http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/vi...dcalories.html So replacing breastmilk with solids won't help weightgain.

    By all means continue nursing as long as you both desire! Remember the AAP recomends breastfeeding for at least 12 mo and the WHO recomends it for at least 2 years. There are numerious benifits for nursing! Huge kudos for providing this wonderful gift for 10 mo already!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    317

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Sounds like you are doing everything just fine. You may want to inform your DCP and husband that breastmilk and/or formula is supposed to be the main stable of any infants diet under 12 months of age. Many many babies breastfed without any or hardly any solids until well after 12 months. Th fact is, your body is amazing and it knows exactly what your baby needs and puts it in your breastmilk. SO long as you are eating a healthy balanced diet, they your little one is to, even if he takes no solid foods at all. Don't let anyone push you into weaning before you and your son are ready. I agree with a PP that if you were to wean this would be even more tramatic for your son. Most babies grow much more between 0-6 months than 6-12. A weight gain of 2 lbs sounds perfectly healthy to me, my dd who is 9.5 months gains only 1.5 lbs between 5 and 9 months, but luckily I have a very breastfeeding aware/advocate pedi who knows that breastfed babies gain differently than ff babies and the importance of breastmilk well past the first year of life (she herself bf her daughter until she was 3.5 yrs old, and her daughter is her partner in the practice and also breastfeeds). Follow what you believe is best for you and your baby and as with any advice you get from others (welcomed or not) take what you want and leave the rest. And just so you know your DS isn't an oddball, whenever my DS would be sprouting a new tooth he didn't want to eat solids, only nurse. His mouth understandably hurt and nursing was a great comfort to him. All your son's nursing may also be his way of soothing himself. Congratulations mama for such a great job!
    Amanda Mom to James (2/25/04) and nursling Alice (8/24/05)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    435

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Corina
    Until your doctor tells you to worry then don't worry.
    I agree. WHO and AAP says you can ebf until age 12 months - just let him go at his own pace.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    37

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    I apologise! I didn't mean to make you feel like you needed to defend yourself for working and chosing a daycare I am so sorry!

    When I was going to school and working two jobs I was forced to put my kids in daycare. My son is a very sensitive kid he was about 4 yrs and so he would cry when his feeling were hurt and stuff the daycare people decided that he needed toughening up and let the other kids pick on him and push him around. I found this out when my daughter got involved by punching a boy in the nose for giving m,y son a kidney shot and throwing a rock and hitting her in the head. My son has reflux in his left kidney. When my husband took it up with them they lied to him. The teacher wasn't outside with the kids and when my daughter called for them they didn't come until after she bloodied the kids nose! I know not all daycares are like that I promise! I didn't mean to sound condeming that you had to work I understand my husband joined the Military so I would concentrate on my schooling and not have to work and spend over half my paycheck to a daycare that would do that to our kids.(There wasn't a bunch of choices you see LOL)

    Please forgive my abrupt sounding post.

  8. #8
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Don't worry Don't worry Don't worry!
    Just remember many babies are sustained on breastmilk alone for the 1st year. If you remember that, everything else sort of falls away. Including the sitiation at daycare. If he doesn't want to eat don't make him and tell them to offer him food but "no big deal" if he refuses it.
    It sounds like he is getting all he needs from you. It explains why he's still eating so much in the evening. Solid food at this point should be fun for both of you but not where he's getting his main source of nutrients. Even when offered it's supposed to breast 1st then solids then breast. So tell everyone to back off about weaning. They are pressuring you!
    I hope my son only gains 2lbs between now and nine months. One more pound and we have to buy a big boy car seat! And like Feorsteorra said your baby is getting around, burning calories and thanks to you he still managed to gain two pounds!
    Sometimes outsides pressures cause us to doubt ourselves. Don't let it! Your doing great! I definately don't think you need to force feed. Or feed at all if he doesn't want to.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    323

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    The most obvious answer is that your baby is teething and lots of babies cut back on solids at this time (actually, I remember when I got my wisdom teeth, I didnt feel much like eating either!)
    Babies nurse more to make up for it, that's a good sign and it shows that he's definately getting enough to eat. Especially if he gained weight.
    Dont worry about it at all, and dont take on the ill-informed opinions of the day-care worker. About your dh, you could try getting him to read some of the pages from this site, or other good book on nursing, and remind him that the WHO now reccommends bfing for 12 months and beyond.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Very Worried - Please Help!

    Hello and great job with mothering! It is normal to worry......we all question everything we do and all the advice we get, and it's good to do so. I just wanted to throw this in...I have read in many books and online that it can only be detrimental to "force" your child to eat when he/she is not interested. It can turn into all kinds of issues, including battles of the will and eating problems in the future. I don't have the names of the resources in my head, but would look them up if it would be helpful to you. Another thought I had reading your post: It is so interesting to me how often people think that breastfeeding is at the center of a problem (so many women question whether she should wean when there is an issue) when so often it is so much a part of the solution. Best of luck!

    D

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