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Thread: I think it's about that time!!!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Question I think it's about that time!!!!!

    My baby is already 1yr and 4mon. and I feel that I really need to stop breastfeeding. I'm going nuts because I do not know what to do. To make matters even more difficult my baby sleeps with me and I don't know how to get her to sleep unless she is breastfeeding. Can someone with experience please give me some help? Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    I have never weaned a child that age, it would be a tough age to wean I'd imagine! I highly recommend the book How Weaning Happens, an short, easy read with tons of great suggestions on MLW (mother-led weaning).

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    One step at a time. What do you want to change first and why? Do you want to start by getting her to nurse less throughout the day or by getting her to fall asleep different ways? You can change the bedtime routine if you want her to fall asleep some other way. As for daytime.. just don't sit down, have lots of yummy drinks and snacks ready, and keep her busy busy busy. I also don't know about altogether weaning a child that age.. but I did plenty of cutting back starting at about a year and a half. And you've gotta start somewhere. Once you do get her down to fewer sessions, you may start enjoying breastfeeding again. It's a different relationship when they have limits.

  4. #4

    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    I'm in the exact same way. I want to gently wean, but definitely start moving in that direction... I offer lots of snacks and drinks during the day and literally don't sit down all that much :-). My DS is almost seventeen months, and I've pretty much got him down to nursing first thing in the morning, then for his nap (and I usually nurse him when he wakes up for a few minutes and he'll go back to sleep for a while) and then once late afternoon and then bedtime. We co-sleep too - and it's a constant struggle. I've been letting him nurse at night when he wants to, but trying to catch him before he's hard core asleep, and taking the nipple away and just rubbing his back and whispering "hush, sleepy time." Seems to be working - slowly. He was up four times last night, but I only had to nurse him twice. The two other times, he was content with just cuddles.
    Melissa
    Mom to Jessica (2/7/03) breastfed for 8 months
    Sam (7/6/06) breastfed for three years, five months, two weeks and three days (not that I was counting or anything :-)
    Julianna (4/29/10) struggled thru nursing strike, nipple confusion, thrush, multiple cracks and fissures, a staph infection and then another bout of thrush, but happily nursing away
    www.cohenfamily-melissa.blogspot.com

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    The reasons for which I would like to stop breastfeeding are because I would like to go back to work but before I do that I would like for my daughter to be able to fall to sleep without my breast.I want the transition from my home to a daycare to be as easy as possible, it is already so hard to begin with. Also her doctor told me several times that she thinks that it is time for me to stop breastfeeding and lastly breastfeeding has made me lose too much weight and I look like if I starve myself. I'm 5'5" and weigh 103 so I lokk horrible (at least in my opinion). People that know me and see me now always tell me "what happend to you why are you so skinny? Youv'e lost a lot of weight! You need to gain weight! Are you okay, are you sick?" and that is really bad for my self estime. To be honest I have already cut out a lot of feeding sessions and right now the only time that she is breastfeeding is at nap time and at bed time but she also breastfeeds through out the entire night. I even thought of substituting my breast with a pacifier but being that she has never used a pacifier I am afraid to introduce one to her at this age. I feel so horrible but i feel that it is something that I have to do. Everyone is different and besides my daughter is a really big baby and she is kind of heavy.

  6. #6
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    Sounds like it's time to tackle night time issues. Is dad in the picture? Can he help out with bedtime?

    As far as child care, don't stress too much about her going down differently for other care providers.. When my kid was just a baby I was worried about her napping while I was away from her one day a week... she napped SO MUCH BETTER for the sitter! And no tears!! Back then she NEVER went down for me without nursing.... but if mom's gone, then the craving to nurse is usually gone too. Expectations are different with different care providers.. and they always expect the most out of mom.. as they should. I see this all the time as I babysit a bunch of "AP" kids (what I mean is that many of the kids sleep with their parents or did until they were ready to move out and all were breastfed.. some 'til two or three years old.. you know, THOSE kind of people ), but they all nap better for me than for mom. The 9 month old co-sleeping, breastfeeding baby goes down for me just fine... but there's no way she'd go to sleep with mom without her nursies!

    I don't know why you've lost so much weight. I'd talk to a doc about that. Nursing a baby is 500 more calories. And I doubt you are using even that at this point. It could be something other than nursing. I'm sorry people feel like they can critique your figure that way. How do you FEEL?

    Here's what I did to teach my child to fall asleep without the breast.. well there were two things I did.. I'll tell you about the choices I'm happiest with first, as I think it's a great start.. though it may not fix it all.

    I moved nursing to the beginning of the bedtime routine so that it went like this:
    Change into pajamas
    Nurse on couch in living room
    Brush teeth
    Go potty (she was totally potty trained by 18 mos.. nightweaned at two)
    Get in bed
    Read book
    Massage to sleep. I started with feet because she had to lay down for it and it kept me far away from her breast. Got some lotion to make it fun for her. Eventually she preferred that I rubbed her back and now she insists on back scratches.

    Ever so gradually (could have been done more quickly) I stopped rubbing/scratching her back until she fell asleep. I'd tell her I'd be right back, stalled for a bit, then returned. Sometimes she was still awake and I'd just go ahead and resume the back rub. But she got used to me leaving and coming back and more and more she would fall asleep. That routine has worked well for us. She just put herself to sleep an hour ago. Now instead of "I'll be right back," I just say goodnight.

    I originally did this because I had read that if they get used to falling asleep alone they'd stop waking mom up in the middle of the night. Well, that hasn't been the case in our house. When I kicked the weaning process into high gear, I changed the nursing session into a bedtime snack.

    When I night weaned her, I had to use dad. I could not tend to her in the middle of the night without nursing her. When I said no, or did the pantly pull off or any of those other little "AP" tricks out there, it just PISSED her off. To tend to her without nursing her was like teasing her. When I spent a week trying to night wean her, my husband pointed out that CIO would involve less crying than what I was doing with her. We'd basically wrestle and cry all night. So we spent a week getting her back into HER bed full time... me getting my butt out of bed over and over to nurse her. But then we told her that mommy wasn't going to get up anymore, that she was tired and would only nurse in the morning. She was two by this time and totally understood. She could tell me exactly what was going to happen. I'd ask her, what will you do if you get thirsty? and she'd answer that she'd get a drink from her sippy cup. She knew what the plan was. But was that any comfort the first night? Nooooo. She cried and screamed. We did not leave her alone all night. Daddy came to care for her, but she'd just tell him, "Go AWAY!!! I want MOMMY!!! I want nursies!!!!!!" And he did go away. But he would keep coming back to remind her that mommy would be here in the morning. And she let him wipe her nose a couple of times. And he laid her back down a few times. It was a year and a half ago now.. so I dont' remember it perfectly.. but it's not a happy memory. I do remember that she didn't just fall asleep crying. She'd cry from 15 minutes to 2 hours at a time, calm down, lay down (I could her her laying back down) and then go to sleep. The second night was easier, but still not my greatest moment in mothering. By night four we were all sleeping through the night. I would wake up now and then during the following nights because I missed her. And she slept through the night for about.. a week and a half?? Then she went back to waking every 3 hours but not nursing. Just cuddling back to sleep.

    Guess what? She STILL wakes during the night. Usually I just yell to her, "Come on in." and she pitter patters into my room, climbs into bed and we fall back to sleep. But hey, she's weaned.

  7. #7
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    Can't find the edit button for the post above.. so what I meant to say about the foot rubs is that it keeps my breast away from her head. And she has to lay still for it. The way it's worded in the above post makes no sense!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I think it's about that time!!!!!

    My thoughts:
    1) Continuing to nurse when you go back to work will make things MUCH easier for your LO, not harder. I am so grateful to be able to BF my 17 MO DD after work to re-connect. Also as part of night-time parenting, since I'm not with her during the day.
    2) Why does your ped think you need to quit? and
    3) Why are you listening to her?

    I recommend the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler.

    L e i l a, married to hubby, loving our "bock-ee" kinda girl, 6.23.06
    Learn about the prepuce before you have a boy.
    Dental issues? Find out how to Cure Tooth Decay.

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