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Thread: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

    V,
    I don't think you are bragging about your daughter -- i have found that kids that appear to be "high needs" are often exceptionally bright and sensitive. I always joke that my friend's kids who sleep through the night without nursing just aren't smart enough to know any better. ha ha (It makes me feel better, anyway.)

    And, if it helps, I only have one child and my house is a disaster, and I haven't ironed anything in years! I feel terribly overwhelmed a lot of the time, and that is with just one child, so I can only imagine what you are feeling. I remember those early months as being incredibly depleting, despite all of the joy. So, do anything you can think of to make your life easier. And don't beat yourself up for your negative feelings. My son nursed for an hour tonight before he went to sleep, and i wanted to pull out all of my hair!! So, you aren't alone. Blessings to you.
    Ingrid

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    135

    Default Re: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

    Quote Originally Posted by icz
    V,
    i have found that kids that appear to be "high needs" are often exceptionally bright and sensitive.

    If that is any indication, then Gregor must turn out to be a genius...

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    130

    Default Re: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

    Virtuella
    You certainly sound overwhelmed, and I can understand why! My first child (a daughter) was/is very high need (and quite intelligent too ). She was the child that needed to be touching some part of a parent's body to fall asleep and even stay asleep. It was exhausting getting her to bed! For perspective, she did grow into sleeping in her own bed and falling asleep on her own. (This too shall pass, this too shall pass....)

    One idea for your own peace of mind....have you tried a backpack-style carrier with Gregor? I used an Ergo carrier, but there are others like a Korean podegi (spelling?) or I think a sutemi wrap, or even the long lengths of cloth that can be wrapped so many ways...
    Anyway, the carrier was helpful to me, because I had a very large baby and I couldn't begin to do *any* housework with him in a sling--too much strain on my back. With him on my back and weight distributed evenly, I could do dishes and laundry, or put a meal in the crockpot mid-morning so I didn't have to worry about dinner that night. And, most mornings he took a nap on my back as well You could also carry him and go for a walk with your daughter.

    You are getting some excellent ideas here. Realize that this is a stage and it will pass or change. In the meantime, do whatever you can to take care of yourself too. Hang in there!

    Dawn

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

    Hi Virtuella

    I haven't read all the posts, but I wanted to say that the "icky" feeling you get while nursing isn't uncommon, especially when you are tandem feeding. I do think its natures way of saying "hey, baby takes priority on the boobie now."

    However, it does pass. My now 4yo wanted to nurse like a newborn after his brother was born, and it was all too much. We did have to impose some limits, such as nursing only after lunch (to go to sleep for a nap) and first thing in the morning. I found that I met initial resistance, but it improved very quickly. Now he is restricted to first thing in the morning only, so there is no issues with feeling "ick" about nursing, because we have worked out a mutually satisfying situation.

    Having said all that - I also understand where you are coming from with the toddler. I am also trying to help my 2yo cut down nursing to three times a day, but he doesn't really want to play ball! Its tricky, because on one hand you don't want them to be deprived of something they clearly need, but on the other hand, you have needs too!

    I find the best way to tackle the toddler is to not sit down! I know this may not work if you have a baby to feed too, but if you can get the timing right, and not be sitting at a time the older child might usually nurse, plus add in an interesting activity to distract her (him? SORRY!) then it might do the trick, even if you have to work on dropping one feed at a time over a number of days or weeks?

    Best wishes...it really does get better!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: I'm resenting to breastfeed my toddler

    oh boy life can be so difficult....
    no words of wisdom just how amazing you are to persevere like this.
    what a mum!

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