OK, Gage is turning 1 next month and I seem to be having quite a problem with it. I feel like I am being cheated and cheating my son. I know I have missed out on so much. I have done the math and I have to work, there is no question. And I was OK with that. Until last week when Gage was sick and I was home most of the week. I loved being home. But in the back of my head I felt guilty for not going to work and that made me feel guilty, like I am a bad mom for feeling torn.
Yesterday we went to dinner with some friends, she is a SAHM. She kept going on and on about how great it is and blah blah blah. Then she's asking me things like wouldn't daycare pay for the insurance and do you really need the $$. Well, yes I do. No, it isn't for a BMW or a 3000 sq ft house it is for food and diapers.
I have had a few moments of anger towards my DH for having his own business but if he worked for someone doing what he used to he would be miserable. Not to mention he had the business before we met so I knew what I was getting into.
Ugh, I dunno. I just feel yucky. That is the only was to describe it. Sorry this is so long but I just needed to get it out. I can't talk to DH because he already feels guilty. Thanks for being there for me