My little Penga (25 weeker, now 39 week gestational (corrected) - still in ICN) suddenly had series of brady last Sunday. Two of them were really bad -it took several nurses to stabilize Penga. Medication change, water retention, and immunization shots are possible cause...... We were 4 days away from her coming home.
Now she is in stable condition but she is back on nasal cannula (which she hates - Penga cried really hard when cannula was put on her). She won't be able to come home for another 10 days or so.
Plus she gets tired so easily with BF. Penga had finally started nursing both breasts for 20-25 minutes total without much trouble, but today she managed to BF only one breast before falling asleep, looking so tired. She desat after BF once and other time she resisted my breast (I gave her bottle with little BM and after that she nursed OK, though.)
It just hit me. She is still so fragile. When things like this happen, BF becomes such a sensitive issue. I want our nursing to be warm relaxing relationship but I am constatly watching her color & behavior and monitor to make sure she is not over-tired. It is stressful.
We are still extremely grateful that Penga has not had any other major medical complication so far. We have spent more than 3 months in the NICU and ICN, so just 10 more days should be short. But it is very hard. I guess I am running out of gas and anxiety from seeing Penga suffer is very high.
Just needed to get this out.....I guess I just need lots of hugs