I'm really hoping for some guidance here. Here is our story:
My daughter is one month old yesterday. In her first few days of life, breastfeeding was challenging, although I was told that my milk was coming in pretty darn well. I was getting a good amount of it. While still in the hospital on probably her second day of life I started pumping because of the difficulty we were having. She started to do really well by her third day of life. We had one feeding where she was latched on for 15 min on one side with very little prodding to get through the feeding and 20 min on the other side where I didn't have to prompt her to wake up at all. Then, within a matter of a couple of hours we were at the hospital because she had jaundice. We were in the hospital with her for a week because her bilirubin just wasn't coming down quickly enough. The whole time I was in the hospital I only had one opportunity to breast feed. The doctors didn't want her out of the incubator for more than 20 for a feeding which meant that we had to bottle feed. I continued pumping at the point, but we were supplementing with formula when I couldn't pump enough breast milk for her at each feeding. Almost immediately after we came home from the hospital I had to go back for a very very bad UTI and mastitis. I was wicked feverish and couldn't do much of anything. My husband took care of both my daughter and I....
So here we are. I've had about 2 and a half weeks of normalcy and I haven't gone back to breastfeeding. I've tried a few times, but she is so used to the bottle at this point that she fusses. I have very flat nipples so I use a shield and I own shells too, but they leak all the time so I don't use them too much. I'm only pumping once a day now because I'm so tired all the time. If I could breastfeed, I wouldn't have to worry about pumping as much.
I am so conflicted and want so badly to breastfeed. I found my shield that had been missing and I have a feeding at 10pm EST. I was thinking of trying it again. Is my milk gone? Is it too late? God, I'm praying someone can help me. I've been praying about this non stop for a couple days and I'm hoping someone here might have some answers for me.
Thanks and God bless,