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Thread: Just need some love

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Unhappy Just need some love

    I just need some words of encouragement that I am not a horrible mother. I was basically chewed out by my charge nurse(I am a pediatric nurse) at work tonight for being selfish and still breastfeeding my LO through his milk protein intolerance/colic/reflux. I will try to make it brief! She has given me a hard time about this before, but it has always been light hearted-not tonight. She pretty much said that I was just breastfeeding him because I want to, and that I should have just put him on formula instead of putting him through all his medications and things. He actually is on no medications now and I am planning to try adding dairy back into my diet soon. He was on a few different supplements/medications at first, but that is just because he was so fussy I would try anything that was recommended, then was afraid to stop because he was better. Yes, it did take two weeks for the dairy free diet to completely work(started at 6 weeks), but with all of the benefits of BF, isn't it worth it? My whole family has horrible allergies and asthma and I want to help prevent that it in him. He also had colic and reflux and when we supplemented with soy formula it made no difference. She asked me how long I plan to BF and I said a year at least, which got a huge eye-roll.

    I am pretty proud of myself that I have stuck with BF this long- I had some complications after he was born and was extremely anemic for a while, and the whole no dairy diet is kind of a pain. She made me feel like a piece of crap. I am sure my cloth diapers would get an annoyed eye-roll too. Sorry this was so long, just needed to vent and get some love! Thanks, Marci

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    Default Re: Just need some love

    Welcome to the forum!

    Sounds like you have a less than understanding coworker. I am sorry she made you feel bad about being such a good attached parent. Perhaps she is mistaking your personal business as her own. I wonder if setting some firmer boundaries with her as far as what you choose to discuss, might help? A simple redirection of a conversation might do the trick. At a certain point this sort of interaction might be viewed as a hostile workplace environment.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007

    Default Re: Just need some love

    She's a pretty uneducated nurse if she doesn't realize you're doing what's best for your baby. Those reflux-treating formulas have medicine in them, and nothing is better for your lo than your milk. My sister (who's a nurse too actually) made comments about my bf too long (anything after 6 mo. was "too long," so when I said I'm shooting for 2 years she let her opinions roll, she was really harsh). It caught me off guard and I found myself defending the benefits of bf, but then I later got annoyed with her and made comments back. Like she was helping me change a diaper and couldn't believe it didn't smell bad, and I said "that's because he's BREAST fed" in a snippy voice (childish, I know). She ended up realizing she was out of line and apologized.

    This coworker of yours though isn't family, she has no business being nozy for the sake of making comments. What you're doing is a lot of work and you should feel great about it. This won't be the last time either of us gets comments about our bf, so we should come up with a way to deal with it without it causing us to second guess ourselves. I find a quick "its best for the baby" shuts people up!
    I'm proud to be first woman in my family to breastfeed!
    cloth diapering convert!
    Loving the homemade baby food!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Unhappy Re: Just need some love

    my coworkers (i work with all women) said i should think about quitting. i have had trouble the whole time (he's 8 weeks) but i made up my mind to keep it up. he's got reflux and is on pepcid but i hope to only have him onit 1-2mo. they said formula is heavier etc. but i know bm is so much better and CHEAPER. omg-formula is expensive. if he got it and spits up like he does now, i'd be poor

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Red Sox Nation

    Default Re: Just need some love

    I'm sorry to hear that you have a coworker that is so judgemental. If it was me, I would limit what I share with her. She apparently has a very strong opinion.

    You're doing a great thing for your baby!
    Melissa, mom to my very busy 4-year-old little man and super busy 2-year-old princess.

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