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Thread: night time weaning- HELP

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007

    Smile night time weaning- HELP

    hi there everyone , i am new to this site but find it really great so thank you all in advance ! my daughter will be 2 on friday and i am still nursing her and enjoying it but finding it really difficult to get through the nights. she nursing frequently throughout the night and will only fall asleep by nursing, i feel that she is using nursing as a pacifer. i have tried to night wean but been unsuccessful. if i refuse to nurse she cries herself into such a state that she vomits . I cannot bear to leave her to cry however it means that i am totally tied at night times and never get to do anything with my husband. i usually end up sleeping in her bed with her as i am too exhausted to go back adn forth all night. She is totally attached to me which i love but i am wondering if maybe it is not such a good thing. i have put her to bed every night since she was born and she will not go to bed at all for my husband. we are living overseas so have no family around us and i am the only mom here breastfeeding so when i ask the other moms they tell me to stop nursing. if any of you have any suggestions for me to try to improve my daughter's sleep habits i would really appreciate hearing from you. many thanks !

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: night time weaning- HELP

    Chloe sounds EXACTLY like my daughter. And it was right around her age that we nightweaned. My dd would cry until she vomited too. Being with her at night and NOT nursing was, as my husband pointed out, worse than CIO. I was mad at him for saying it, but it was true. There was more crying when I was trying to night wean her than there would have been if I had plopped her in a crib and walked out on her. But I couldn't do that.

    About the vomiting: In retrospect, I would try to nightwean her when the nursing was getting bad. Now that I've known this person for over three years I know that she tends to get crabby, cry and then vomit when she has an ear infection. Many times that's the only sign and then the infection clears up on it's own.. sometimes there's a fever. Twice she's had antibiotics. She NEVER had an ear infection or any other major infection before I started limiting her nursing.

    Now, with the night weaning, my husband did it. She cried and screamed and pushed him away and told him to leave, that she wanted mommy. He did not tend to her much and did leave her to cry alone in her room. But he offered the sippy cup, wiped her nose if she wanted him too, checked in on her so she knew we were still around.. but mostly reminded her (we told her again and again what would happen before we did this) that mommy isn't coming - mommy needs to sleep. This was one ugly night, another night with a little crying and then she slept through the night for the first time ever. And again and again, but it didn't last. She started waking again.. and we just couldn't keep dad on night time duty so I tended to her. But she accepted "no" to nursing and just accepted a cuddle. On and off, we wound up getting back into the same habits but without the nursing.

    Well, a year and a half later, she falls asleep on her own but comes into our bed.. but at least she does it on her own; I don't have to get up. If she doesn't get up, she calls to me and I end up in her bed. And she's totally weaned, so nevermind those other moms. Whatever gets me the most sleep, I tend to do. My husband will have Thanksgiving week off and we're talking about putting him back on night duty.

    Dad needs to know how hard it is for you and also that just because dd rejects him doesn't mean he is excused from dealing with her. He CAN do it.

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