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Thread: desperately needing support!!!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    12

    Unhappy Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleRain View Post
    I just wanted to send you a hug. I have a 3 week old girl and had similar issues. I thought she was bf good in the hospital, but apparently was not latched on and getting enough (low blood sugars). Tried the tube on the breast trick, finger feeding, cup feeding, ect. Tried many of the other suggestions as well. She just would not latch on properly. And if by chance she did...it was for maybe a minute or two and that was it. She would also push everything out of her mouth, like yours does. The lactation consultant said it was tongue thrusting or something like that.

    I pumped...got very little from pumping as well and started to freak out. But found out that doesn't mean anything about the milk supply. I was still able to hand express after pumping, so I realized that there is indeed plenty there for the baby.

    The good news is that my girl suddenly started to latch on. After weeks of crying and feeling worthless, I am thrilled for every bf chance we get now. Not sure what caused her to suddenly "get it". We would not give her the bottle until she opened wide and did not thrust her tongue. Maybe she learned through that. Or I've read that as they get a little older they get better at it. I also read that as the baby gets a little bigger, their mouths can handle the breast/nipple better. Maybe it is a combo...but I'm happy that we are now able to bf.

    Hang in there...I know how overwhelming it is. I at least had a ton of support...but don't give up. But ultimately, the goal is to nurish your baby, and however he gets that nourishment, you are doing what you can to ensure your boy gets what he needs. That's what matters most.

    Thank you for posting this because my son will be 3 weeks old today, and I'm feeling a bit overwhealmed at Breastfeeding, only because I don't have the necessary support, my mother insists on formula feeding because she claims "the baby is always hungry." I also have an 18 month old, that is not totally jealous but she demands my time, so I'm trying to juggle to two (breasfteeding and playing giving the 18 month old attention).
    Also trying not to formula feed and sleep/eat - and remain sane about it all, not sure how to do it. I also feel guilty because when I pump I only get about 30 ml and wondering how come the mom across the street can get 5 oz?

    Edilsa

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Thank you for posting this because my son will be 3 weeks old today, and I'm feeling a bit overwhealmed at Breastfeeding, only because I don't have the necessary support, my mother insists on formula feeding because she claims "the baby is always hungry." I also have an 18 month old, that is not totally jealous but she demands my time, so I'm trying to juggle to two (breasfteeding and playing giving the 18 month old attention).
    Also trying not to formula feed and sleep/eat - and remain sane about it all, not sure how to do it. I also feel guilty because when I pump I only get about 30 ml and wondering how come the mom across the street can get 5 oz?

    Edilsa

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Oh man do I remember the feelings you are having now. I have a 10 1/2 month old daughter. She and I had such a hard time at first - bad supply, formula issues, latch issues - and I about quit. But, like you, I started taking fenugreek and reached out for help here and we made it through. We just now weaned! But I tell you what, by week three, where you are now, I thought for sure I would never make it. So hang in there. Take it one day at a time and follow the above advice. It is all good advice. Skin to skin contact as much as possible - snuggle under those blankets on a cold afternoon - just let him nurse on you as much as possible, the stimulation it provides your nipples is good for your body - also, consider an SNS system - that little tube previous posters have talked about. I recommend Googleing SNS breastfeeding (other folks have good links, but I don't and there is a lot of info out there). The device give your baby formula while you breastfeed so they work on their latch while stimulating your milk supply while eating formula for their weight gain. it's kind of a pain, but it really worked for us.
    I'd say best of luck, but luck isn't what its about. Just hang in there and keep working at it.
    Maggie

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Im glad I'm not the only one going thru bf issues, I feel soooo alone at times!! but to the other mothers, I hope everything works out for you!!!!

    Update!: We had our 1month check up today, and he is really big!!! he now weighs 11lbs. 9 1/2oz and is 22inches long.

    I asked our doctor about getting an appt. with th IBLC in the clinic and she told me that it was too late to try to go back to breastfeeding and that it would do no good to go see her. I cried, but then I remembered that many moms relactated, so I stopped! but here's my dilema, we need a SNS and i've yet to locate one on the web, which is why I needed to see the IBLC. so please, send me a link or refer me to someone who can.

    As far as our BF issues go, he refuses to take the breast now, even with the latch. and he spend about 5 minutes trying to get the hang of the bottle, and by that time, he's so frustrated and full of air, he had to be burped after 1oz, and then the cycle begins again....so now we're dealing with a whole new set of problems...and on top of that, I still cant get any support at home, as a matter of fact, I got accused of "showing favoritism towards the new baby" because "when Jailynne(my 2yo) was little, you didnt sit and hold her like that"...and I'm still pretty hormonal...so yeah....phew!(had to get that out)

    but anyways, please help!!!
    thanxx

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    oh, another thing!

    can someone please explain this "attachment parenting" thing? I think I got it, but not really!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    239

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Hey, I just wanted to say that it is not to late to breastfeed again. I would try to get an appointment with an IBCLC; mine were such a huge help. Try calling around to local hospitals and see if they have any that will do outpatient appointments. Also, keep pumping because it is a lot easier to keep up or build up a supply than it is to start completely over again.

    As for attachment parenting, I would do a google search or something for Dr. Sears; I know his website has a lot of information.

    You can do it!
    Mama to DD#1 Exclusive pumper for 3 months before getting back to breast

    and

    DD#2 Straight from the tap since birth

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    51

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    There are several places online to purchase an SNS system. I'm not sure if it is OK to post just one of them here, but I found several sites by googleing "SNS breastfeeding." I'll private message you a few links. They cost about $15(american). And like the previouis poster, don't give up. If it is possible for adoptive moms to breastfeed their babies (which it is!) that it is surely not too late for you!
    Best,
    Maggie

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    221

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Keep up the good work! That's what everyone has been telling me and it really is worth it.

    My boy was delivered by emergency C-section and fed cow milk formula by the idiots in NICU because they thought it was important to feed him to get the jaundice out of his system. I was too out of it on pain medication and toxemia to kick up much of a stink at the time. I told them I wasn't happy about it but if the boy needed to be fed then he needed to be fed. I don't digest cow milk well myself so I wasn't surprised that the formula made him feel sick. Thankfully they consulted with me again afterwards and they put him on a hypoallergenic formula (Neocate).

    Because I was so sick with toxemia and because of the C-section it took a while for my milk to come in, and the swelling from the toxemia meant I couldn't use a berast pump for several days.. so I had midwifes and LCs left right and centre hand expressing everything they could get out of my breasts.

    When I finally had the milk to feed him I had lures from drips in my hands so I couldn't even lift his body off a pillow myself let alone position him at the breast We tried finger lactation, syringes, cups, nipple shield and eventually resotrted to feeding him EBM from a bottle. I worried it might mess up my chances of feeding him normally but I kept trying every feed at the breast before I would resort to feeding him a bottle of EBM. He would flail his limbs, kick scratch, and push the breast out of his mouth. If he ever got close to latching on he would inevitably tear the breast out of his mouth with his hands.

    I kept trying the nipple shield because he seemed to find it more like a bottle teat and be prepared to try at it. The biggest problem was when he got a low flow or tired he would bite on the shield (OW!) and I'd have to unlatch him and try AGAIN. But I perservered and he got better slowly.

    All the literature I found said that it may take "up to 6 weeks to establish breast feeding" and at 5 and a half weeks old I sullenly commented "so.. he's going to turn 6weeks old and suddenly get how it's done?"

    We went in for his 6week vaccination on Tuesday and after his injection the nurse said I should give him a feed to calm him down.. so I tried him on the breast and he had a full feed from both sides!

    Things slowly get better over time, even if it seems heartbreaking and like you are getting nowhere. If you can, get the help of a Lactation Consultant. They can help you understand what you need to be doing and give you some strategies.

    So again.. keep up the good work. (sorry I seem to have rambled more than I meant to!)

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