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Thread: desperately needing support!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Exclamation desperately needing support!!!

    I have a 3wk old baby boy who is having latching difficulties. He started off doing good in the hospital, but around the 3rd day, he started pushing everything that went in his mouth back out. He was also getting so frustrated BFing that the nurses suggested supplementing with formula. BIG MISTAKE!!! my milk has never really come in, when I pump (using Medela Pump-In-Style Advance, or sumthing of the sort!) I get 3/4(from both breasts) in the morning, by the end of the day, I'm only getting 1/4. I have since been taking 2400mg of Fenugreek a day for the past 2 days, and it has not increased.

    As far as BFing goes, we have been using a nipple shield, and he will latch on for about 5 mins(each breast) and fall asleep, then wake up 20mins later screaming for more, so I'll supplament with a bottle of formula....what am I doing wrong?

    I have absolutely no support whatsoever as far as trying to BF. My mom thinks that I should be doing other things rather than holding him all day and will continue to say this untill i put him down and do "other things". She knows that I really want to BF, but thinks that its not going to work because it hasnt yet.

    Because of lack of support and latching difficulties, I have resorted to using just formula(I didnt think it was worth it to give baby only 1-2oz of breastmilk, where he was eating 4 oz of formula) and now I want to go back and give BFing a try again!

    Please help, I really want to give my baby the best but Im afraid I may have messed up

  2. #2
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    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    I am a first time bfer so I do not have any thoughts other than if he is acting hunger 20min later offer the breast on a bottle. Tell you mom to bug off if she is not going to be supportive. 3wks old is so young hold him all you want I have learned with my first dd you can not spoil them that young and they NEED, IMO, the contact I mean he just spent 9months (God welling) in your womb...KWIM.

    this is my life support and my new world of moms you will love it here.
    Becky ~ 33 Dh ~ 37 (my little geek of geeks)
    Dd1 ~ Brittney 5yrs aka Bunny
    Ds ~ Xander 3yrs aka Xaxu
    Dd2 ~ Bailie 1yr aka Dede

    Still going 14months later.

    1yr goal and save $2200 average.

  3. #3
    @llli*emama is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Just because you're not pumping a lot does NOT mean that your milk is not in. What the pump can get from you is far less than what a baby can get - it's a different type of extraction. And once your baby DOES latch on, you will have more to pump out anyway (even though it will be less than what your baby gets), so never fear. Your supply is determined by your body's reaction to your baby latching on and eating - your body just doesn't respond to the pump in the same way.

    I had a very similar experience so I know what you're going through - although I was not ALLOWED to breastfeed for the first couple weeks because I had a very underweight baby and every ounce of her food was weighed and measured in the NICU. I thought I'd never BF but thankfully, it did work out.

    While the LO is not BFing, whatever you do, try to pump 8 or so times every 24 hours to keep your supply up. In fact, that's one of the "other things" you can do - hand the baby to your mother while you pump. Give whatever you get to your LO in his bottle of formula. Every drop you give him is worth it. Even if you're just mixing in 1/4 of an ounce - just do it so he can get every drop available. It's extra important in these early weeks but so is getting those calories so don't feel guilty about the formula. The boy gotta eat! As he gets better at latching on, you can phase the formula out.

    Just keep bringing him to the breast as much as you can. Do the usual recommendations - skin-to-skin contact (where you cuddle with your shirts off), maybe take a bath with him if you can, and just keeping bringing him to the breast. If he won't latch on, just keep trying.

    My LO didn't latch on until she was 5 weeks old and even then, when she did, she wasn't latched on for more than 2 or 3 minutes at time. So I would nurse for a brief time and then give a bottle of formula. Some say that it's bad to switch between bottle and breast and that you should use a cup or something. I found that there was no nipple confusion whatsoever but that could just be my LO, I don't know.

    If your LO is like mine, the strength of his suck will build in time, and that means your supply will build along with it.

    And tell your mother she is wrong to have you put the baby down to "do other things"! They need constant contact! Sheesh...
    Last edited by emama; November 8th, 2007 at 08:54 PM.

  4. #4

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Hi!

    Congrats on your new baby! He is absolutely beautiful!

    my milk has never really come in, when I pump (using Medela Pump-In-Style Advance, or sumthing of the sort!) I get 3/4(from both breasts) in the morning, by the end of the day, I'm only getting 1/4. I have since been taking 2400mg of Fenugreek a day for the past 2 days, and it has not increased.
    I'm not really clear about your numbers here. Do you mean 3/4 of an oz, 1/4 of an oz, etc.?

    The pump is not a good measure of what your body is actually making. You will always let down better for your baby than for a machine.

    As far as BFing goes, we have been using a nipple shield, and he will latch on for about 5 mins(each breast) and fall asleep, then wake up 20mins later screaming for more, so I'll supplament with a bottle of formula....what am I doing wrong?
    A nipple shield is absolutely fine if he'll latch on with it. Don't stress about it--you can always wean him from it later. I'd suggest breast compressions when he gets sleepy at the breast. Many mothers find that this kind of helps baby wake up a bit and start nursing some more. When he wakes up hungry, offer him the breast again.

    I have absolutely no support whatsoever as far as trying to BF. My mom thinks that I should be doing other things rather than holding him all day and will continue to say this untill i put him down and do "other things". She knows that I really want to BF, but thinks that its not going to work because it hasnt yet.
    It can be so difficult when our loved ones aren't supportive of our decisions. Have you tried having an open discussion with your mother and telling her that you need her support? Maybe it would be helpful to just have a few days by yourself with your baby without any visitors--even grandma.

    When it comes right down to it, YOU are mommy. That means you get to make all the decisions for your baby, even if other people don't agree with them. Give yourself permission to disagree with those people who don't support you. If you want to hold your baby, then by all means do it. Babies thrive when they are in frequent or constant contact with their mothers. Many mothers like to wear their babies in slings or other carriers so they can keep baby close but have their hands free to do other things. Keeping baby close like this is also an excellent tool in leading baby back to the breast--especially skin-to-skin contact.

    Because of lack of support and latching difficulties, I have resorted to using just formula(I didnt think it was worth it to give baby only 1-2oz of breastmilk, where he was eating 4 oz of formula) and now I want to go back and give BFing a try again!

    Please help, I really want to give my baby the best but Im afraid I may have messed up
    You're only 3 weeks in. It's not too late! Any breastmilk your baby gets from you will benefit him. Have you stopped completely or are you still putting baby to the breast from time to time?

    I'd suggest that you put him to the breast FIRST for every feeding. Use breast compressions to keep him on there as long as possible. If he still seems hungry, you may need to use supplement for a bit until your milk supply comes back up. The goal is to gradually decrease the supplement while bringing the milk supply up.

    Hang in there mama! We'll get you through this!
    Hugs
    Jen
    "Mothers are designed to be available to their babies--to help them make the transition into this big, wide world. To teach them to trust, and love, and feel good about being alive."
    --Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq., So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes

    Click here to find your local LLL Group
    How to tell if your breastfed baby is getting enough milk!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by LLL LactoJen View Post
    Hi!

    Congrats on your new baby! He is absolutely beautiful!
    Thank you!!!


    I'm not really clear about your numbers here. Do you mean 3/4 of an oz, 1/4 of an oz, etc.? I mean 3/4 of an oz and 1/4 of an oz

    The pump is not a good measure of what your body is actually making. You will always let down better for your baby than for a machine. I wanted to be able to pump now so that when I go back to school in Jan. he will still be able to have "liquid gold" at daycare...so if this is all I'm pumping now, will it stay this way? or could it increase?



    A nipple shield is absolutely fine if he'll latch on with it. Don't stress about it--you can always wean him from it later. I'd suggest breast compressions when he gets sleepy at the breast. Many mothers find that this kind of helps baby wake up a bit and start nursing some more. When he wakes up hungry, offer him the breast again. I heard today from an LC at WIC that using a nipple shield can cause breast infections? is this true?



    It can be so difficult when our loved ones aren't supportive of our decisions. Have you tried having an open discussion with your mother and telling her that you need her support? Maybe it would be helpful to just have a few days by yourself with your baby without any visitors--even grandma.

    When it comes right down to it, YOU are mommy. That means you get to make all the decisions for your baby, even if other people don't agree with them. Give yourself permission to disagree with those people who don't support you. If you want to hold your baby, then by all means do it. Babies thrive when they are in frequent or constant contact with their mothers. Many mothers like to wear their babies in slings or other carriers so they can keep baby close but have their hands free to do other things. Keeping baby close like this is also an excellent tool in leading baby back to the breast--especially skin-to-skin contact. does it matter what kind of carrier we use? I have a wrap-type, but the only way I kno how to use it is tummy to tummy and i'm wondering is he big enough for that now, or should I find a carrier that he can lie down in?



    You're only 3 weeks in. It's not too late! Any breastmilk your baby gets from you will benefit him. Have you stopped completely or are you still putting baby to the breast from time to time?I had stopped putting him to the breast completly, but have started bak now.

    I'd suggest that you put him to the breast FIRST for every feeding. Use breast compressions to keep him on there as long as possible. If he still seems hungry, you may need to use supplement for a bit until your milk supply comes back up. The goal is to gradually decrease the supplement while bringing the milk supply up.

    Hang in there mama! We'll get you through this!
    Hugs
    Jen
    l

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    796

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Its totally normal to hold your baby all the time other things can wait, he'll grow up soon enough and not need to be held so much. Plus its a good way for your body to get much needed rest to heal. Don't give up!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    154

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    Hi....congrats on your baby!! I know how hard it is the first few weeks....

    Three weeks is young and you CAN build up your suppy...the younger the baby it is easier......

    I began coming back to the breast at 2 months old and managed to ditch formula supplementation totally and now have a 9 month old nursing baby...So if you decide to do it at 3 weeks it will be much easier.

    try to have someone help you around the house for a few days so that the only thing you have to do is nurse...(fulltime, around the clock)....in a few days your supply will build up.

    Never skip a nursing session go to straight to formula. Always nurse baby first for as long as he wants and gradually give him less formula, try to use a syringe....I made up my own supplementation system with this:

    www.shalix.com/imgprod/H040.gif

    I cut the needle of....that tip I taped to my breast near the nipple and the other tip (the one that screws on the syringe) passed through the nipple of the bottle and into the milk....KWIM? I hung the bottle around my neck....that way, he would receive supplementation while breastfeeding....stimulating your breasts (while suckling at the little tube).......(I stopped bottle feeding..)....this was very succesful for me.

    The most important thing is to be 100% commited to eliminating formula. When I was sure my supply was great I threw all left over fomula and bottles away to avoid temptations.

    Babies need to nurse very often at the begining, it`s their way of building up our supply...and confort nursing is very important, so if your lo is hungry half an hour after you fed him it is totally normal. Try to forget the clock and nurse nurse nurse nurse...your lo will not go hungry....

    lot of luck
    Karina, Neonatal Nurse, mother to Martin, born at 33 weeks 02/11/2007...
    I love ...... .....my baby loves it

    I relactated....IT CAN BE DONE!!!

    I also love
    Tried to


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    12

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    I have the same issues, as you do, my baby is 2 1/2 weeks old, he feeds fine, just don't want to suppliment at all with formula.

  9. #9

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    I wanted to be able to pump now so that when I go back to school in Jan. he will still be able to have "liquid gold" at daycare...so if this is all I'm pumping now, will it stay this way? or could it increase?
    You'll probably be able to pump more because you'll be replacing a feeding session rather than pumping after the baby feeds. Most mothers find they can keep up with their babies needs with regulal pumping at work.

    I heard today from an LC at WIC that using a nipple shield can cause breast infections? is this true?
    I'm not aware of this risk with nipple shields--though if they interfere with good emptying of the breast, that could contribute to breast infections, I suppose.

    does it matter what kind of carrier we use? I have a wrap-type, but the only way I kno how to use it is tummy to tummy and i'm wondering is he big enough for that now, or should I find a carrier that he can lie down in?
    Nope, any carrier is fine. The wrap type is most versatile. You might go to a LLL meeting and see if some of the mothers there can help you with different positions. Tummy to tummy is just fine, though, as long as his head is well supported. There is also a babywearing forum here!

    How are things going for you? We haven't heard back from you in a couple of days!
    Hugs
    Jen
    "Mothers are designed to be available to their babies--to help them make the transition into this big, wide world. To teach them to trust, and love, and feel good about being alive."
    --Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq., So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes

    Click here to find your local LLL Group
    How to tell if your breastfed baby is getting enough milk!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: desperately needing support!!!

    I just wanted to send you a hug. I have a 3 week old girl and had similar issues. I thought she was bf good in the hospital, but apparently was not latched on and getting enough (low blood sugars). Tried the tube on the breast trick, finger feeding, cup feeding, ect. Tried many of the other suggestions as well. She just would not latch on properly. And if by chance she did...it was for maybe a minute or two and that was it. She would also push everything out of her mouth, like yours does. The lactation consultant said it was tongue thrusting or something like that.

    I pumped...got very little from pumping as well and started to freak out. But found out that doesn't mean anything about the milk supply. I was still able to hand express after pumping, so I realized that there is indeed plenty there for the baby.

    The good news is that my girl suddenly started to latch on. After weeks of crying and feeling worthless, I am thrilled for every bf chance we get now. Not sure what caused her to suddenly "get it". We would not give her the bottle until she opened wide and did not thrust her tongue. Maybe she learned through that. Or I've read that as they get a little older they get better at it. I also read that as the baby gets a little bigger, their mouths can handle the breast/nipple better. Maybe it is a combo...but I'm happy that we are now able to bf.

    Hang in there...I know how overwhelming it is. I at least had a ton of support...but don't give up. But ultimately, the goal is to nurish your baby, and however he gets that nourishment, you are doing what you can to ensure your boy gets what he needs. That's what matters most.

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