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Thread: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Default My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    I need some advice on how to deal with this sensitive subject.

    My 3 month old girl weighs around 13 lbs (I think), and is exclusively bottle fed breast milk. On the days my hubby or I'm with her she eats about 25-28 oz total (6-7 4 oz bottles), and on the days my mom watches her (3 days a week) she's already had 25 oz by the time I get home from work! And she usually eats 2x more in the evening before bedtime. She also seems to spit up a lot more these days too.

    I've already talked to her and told her I was concerned that she was spitting up so much, and to try to not feed her as much. Nothing has changed. I already had an incident where she fed her rice cereal without my knowledge (?!?!?) after I explicitly told her I was going to wait to ask the ped. at her 4 month checkup. I already had to have a talk with her about that, so now she calls me and asks for 'permission' to feed her more when she's acting fussy, but I'm not there to see her behavior to know if she's really hungry or not.

    Has anyone had experience with this? How can I address the situation without hurting her feelings? I don't want to say 'Mom you don't know how to read her cues'.

    Also, she seems to think she's teething already (I seriously doubt she is) and decided to give her orajel/tylenol on occasion on top of this whole thing. Honestly, I just a have a fussy baby that has difficulty napping and I think overstimulation/overtiredness is the root of the problem. Sigh, I don't know what to do. I know she loves her and wants her to be happy but I don't want an overfed/medicated baby either!

    Thanks for letting me vent! I appreciate any input if you've gone through this yourselves.

  2. #2
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    It's possible she's feeding your LO too often, since when given a bottle (at least for babies who take bottles) babies will drink. It's a reflex.

    My LO is 5 days older then yours, and she is teething. She has been for the last few weeks.

    As for the rice cereal, they now recomend waiting until baby is at least 6 months old before offering anything other then BM or formula.

    As for your mom and her not knowing the cues, maybe you could spend a day with her and your LO and let her see the cues and then she'd know what your baby's cues are.

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    Quote Originally Posted by valjoy75 View Post
    My 3 month old girl weighs around 13 lbs (I think), and is exclusively bottle fed breast milk. On the days my hubby or I'm with her she eats about 25-28 oz total (6-7 4 oz bottles), and on the days my mom watches her (3 days a week) she's already had 25 oz by the time I get home from work! And she usually eats 2x more in the evening before bedtime. She also seems to spit up a lot more these days too.
    Is it possible that she is feeding her too quickly (tipping the bottle up, for example)? Do you think she might be feeding her even when she's not cueing to be fed?

    Do you think it might help to show her the bottle feeding technique found here?:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html
    And perhaps discuss the needs of a breastfed (or breastmilk fed) baby? For example, she might not be aware that breastfed babies need less total ounces of breastmilk than formula fed babies need of formula.

    Quote Originally Posted by valjoy75 View Post
    already had an incident where she fed her rice cereal without my knowledge (?!?!?) after I explicitly told her I was going to wait to ask the ped. at her 4 month checkup.


    Does she know that the AAP actually recommends that babies not be offered solids until somewhere around the mid-year mark? You might find this resource helpful:
    http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...lids-when.html

    Quote Originally Posted by valjoy75 View Post
    Also, she seems to think she's teething already (I seriously doubt she is) and decided to give her orajel/tylenol on occasion on top of this whole thing. Honestly, I just a have a fussy baby that has difficulty napping and I think overstimulation/overtiredness is the root of the problem. Sigh, I don't know what to do. I know she loves her and wants her to be happy but I don't want an overfed/medicated baby either!


    How about showing her some tips for calming a fussy baby?
    http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussybaby.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley22.html
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp


    HTH!
    Last edited by Give Peas A Chance; November 6th, 2007 at 12:52 PM. Reason: Fix my tags. *sigh*

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    I had the same problem with my first caregiver when Colton was about 4-8 months old. I would pump what should have been more than enough milk for the one morning a week I worked, plus some because I wanted to provide a little extra and then be able to freeze it. I would come back to find it was ALL gone

    A few things that helped were to change the bottle type to a Breastflow instead of one where the milk comes out easily and to discuss changing the diaper (yeah, the caregiver wasn't doing that like I like) instead of shoving a bottle in his mouth.

    But I ended up changing babysitters after a few months because it was getting worse and worse even after multiple discussions and handouts. Oddly enough, once I did that, the milk consumption returned to normal and I was able to stop panicking over pumping enough. (I need some sarcastic smilies!)

    I'd be furious if my caregiver fed solids without my permission to my three month old.

    Good luck sorting it out.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    Thanks everyone for your input and support!

    I will try to talk to my Mom again about this, and maybe print out the information from kellymom's website for her to see. She spent a significant amount of time with us when I was still at home on maternity leave so I really don't understand why she hasn't picked up on her cues yet. There have been times where I was home with her at the time and my Mom would say 'I think she's hungry' when its obvious to me she's sleepy, and I would even correct her on it (and prove I'm right by getting her to sleep). Maybe its easier for me since I'm the Mommy.

    I don't think she'll attempt to feed her solids again, since I made it pretty obvious that I was upset about that. She only has less than 3 months to go so I don't see what the big hurry is anyway. I think she was trying to 'help' her sleep through the night by giving her cereal (but I read that's an old wives tale anyway). She told me it was a one time thing and I hope that I can trust that she's telling me the truth.

    It would be so much easier if she were just a daycare or someone I hired to watch her, but since she's my Mom AND she's doing this for free I have to choose my battles wisely. On top of that I'm worried she'll just start hiding things from me if I make a big deal about everything. I keep trying to remind myself that she raised me and I turned out OK (well, maybe not everyone would agree with that!). I don't want her to think that I'm ungrateful for everything she's doing for us, because without her we would be really stuck (and broke from paying daycare!).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    198

    Default Re: My Mom is Overfeeding My Baby

    i have that problem my self i let my lo eat all that she wants some times she nurses for about 30 mins on one side or she eats a 8 oz bottle and she is 7 weeks old and she is fine she has been eating like this for a while but i have two other kids and they ate like that too i started feeding them rice cereal very early and they were ok but i have a great doc also it sounds like your mom is being a grandma you know over everything but just tell her how you feel and discuss it with her so she will know and understand shemay thinkshe is being helpful

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