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Thread: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

  1. #1
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    I was just talking to my mom and got so upset I just need to vent somewhere...
    My little son bfeeds every 2 1/2 to three hours usually. Ocasionally he will wait 4 - 6 hrs. (mostly at night - a blessing when it happens!). Anyways, I've been comfortable with this, since basically all the books I've been reading on BF and child care say you should BF'd on demand, following your baby's cues. I had not given it a second thought. BTW, my son is doing great, he's thriving. The only thing is that he's a little gassy and tends to fuss, but he has improved so much from the first weeks to now.
    But today I was talking to my mom and when I told her how often the baby nurses, she started scolding me, saying that she never fed any of her babies earlier than every 4 hrs. and that we all turned out ok, and that I am spoiling the baby, and I should put him on a schedule, and force him to wait longer between feedings because then he will automatically eat more when he does get fed and then we will all be so much better (baby disciplined and I'll get some more time to rest and do chores, etc.). That if ds has to nurse that often is because he must be only "nibbling" and not really eating. I KNOW he's eating, I can even hear him gulp! That perhaps nursing so often was causing him gas.Then she went on to say that if I let the baby set the pace now, he will rule over me forever... So we got into a big discussion over it and I'm so upset about it. She feels she has the upper hand and total knowledge since she obviously has more experience (she raised 3 babies, including myself, and ds is my first child).
    Sorry to rant so much - I just need to vent...

    And how often do you feed a 2 month old baby? Are we out of the norm?

    Thanks for listening if you made it through the whole post....

  2. #2
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    (((HUGS))))

    You are doing exactly what your baby needs!! Did your mom breastfeed? The reason I ask is because my mom didn't and she is always asking "So, how long are you going to do 'that'?" She also has a hard time understanding that I can't eat certain foods and accuses me of not 'wanting' what she is offering because I am being stubborn.


    Anyhow, I didn't get to breastfeed all of mine. Half have been formula fed after a good try at breastfeeding. Two were fed EBM for the 1st year with no formula and this is only the second baby that I have been succesful at breastfeeding. I never put any of them on a schedule and fed them whenever they were hungry. They all slept through the night by 3 months. I am sure it is luck of the draw for me because my sister and other friends have fed on demand and they didn't get a full night's sleep for the 1st year. It all depends on the baby. I also don't believe in letting them cry. They cry because they need you. I don't believe that babies can be spoiled, especially ones so young.

    You are doing a perfect job!!! Just keep listening to your baby. He'll let you know what you need to do.

    Oh, I feed my baby every 2.5 -3 hours or whenever else she wants to eat. Everybody enjoys a snack every so often.

  3. #3
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    You are definitely NOT out of the norm to BF a 2 month old that often. Of course some might nurse less, but many nurse more as well. It is really important, especially at such a young age, to feed on demand as you are doing. It must be very frustrating to have conflicting views with your mother and to not feel you have her support. Maybe it would be helpful to provide her with some current research/info on breastfeeding. Remember that she is trying to help you and is giving you advice she thinks is correct. She just isn't educated regarding BF. It can also be helpful to say that the pediatrician said you should do things this way. People are often less likely to argue about a doctor's advice.

    There are many different factors that affect how often a baby nurses. Some babies stomachs can handle more at once than others. While most women can produce the same amounts of milk over all, some recent info suggests that different women's breasts do differ in storage capacity (not necessarily related to size). If your breasts have a large storage capacity, baby may be able to nurse less frequently, getting more at each feeding. With a smaller storage capacity, more frequent feedings may be needed. Most of the suggestions I've read for almost any kind of stomach ailment recommend smaller more frequent feedings as a remedy. Also, tiny infants really do "need" us to respond to their cues. They aren't capable of manipulating us as we sometimes are advised.

    It sounds like you are doing a wonderfull job, and your baby is thriving. It may take some time to come to an agreeable place with your mom (either convince her your ideas have merit or agree to disagree) but give it some time and patience. In the end, YOU are the mother and you know your baby best, even if she has raised three children.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia
    she never fed any of her babies earlier than every 4 hrs. and that we all turned out ok, and that I am spoiling the baby, and I should put him on a schedule, and force him to wait longer between feedings because then he will automatically eat more when he does get fed
    Your mother just admitted that she has never done anything different than feed a baby every 4 hours and yet she knows the outcome of nursing a baby every 2-3 hours. I would be more apt to trust the outcome of a child from a mother who actually nursed a baby every 2-3 hours. (If you do the math, doesn't nursing every 2-3 hours come out to be 8-12 times in a 24 hour period?) Now, why does that sound so familiar? Oh, yes, that is what is recommended. Silly me!

    All joking aside… Well meaning grandmas say the darndest things. There is however one piece of advise that I received from my mother that I am glad that I received. Here is what she said, "The best advice you will ever get is the advice that you ask for." In other words, if you didn't ask for advice from your mother on how often she nursed her children, then it is not advice. If you wanted advice from someone about how often they fed their babies, you would ask. Simple as that.

    You might just have to kindly let her know that if you want her advice on something that you will let her know. Then be sure to find something that you wouldn’t mind having her advice on. And ask it. She might soon learn the satisfaction and reward that comes when someone values your opinion enough to ask you for your advice.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    My 7 week old daughter eats every 2 to 3 hours during the day, and as frequently as every hour in the evenings when she is fussy, with one long stretch of 4-5 hours at night. Sounds like we have similar babies. So if you are doing it wrong, so am I.

    She is a very happy and thriving baby. Do what you know is best for your baby and don't worry about what other people think. DD is my third child. There is so much I wish I had done differently with my first two. I often gave into pressure to let someone, usually a grandparent, hold or feed the baby when I wanted to be nursing. As a result they ended up being bottle fed ebm for most of their first years. I really regret that, I missed out on so much bonding time with them.

    You are the mom, you know your baby. Trust your instincts, thank your mom for her thoughts and then do what you know is right for your child.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    Not only is your mother not educated about BF but her advice would seriously jeopardize the health of your baby. I would gather up as much info as I could and hand it to her in a big stack. Then tell her to back off until she's read through it all... Oh and you might also want to tell her that 2 month old babies do not have the cognitive ability to be "spoiled".

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    My dd still eats every 2 hours (and she's 6 months now)--you can almost set your watch by it. She even eats that frequently at night. A lot of people advise me to let her go longer between feedings but I just don't see the point in starving her. I mean, if I'm hungry, I go to the cupboard and get a snack, and so do those people that want me to make her stretch it out. she is a fast eater though, so its not like I have to sit down for 45 minutes every 2 hours. And even though everyone else (including my husband) wants me to let her cry at night so I can get some sleep, I really don't mind getting up that often. I have gotten really good at sleeping in the chair while she eats and sort of enjoy the quiet nighttime feedings. I know at some point she won't need me that much. I am tired a lot though and sometimes I get frustrated by that.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
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    227.5 miles on my new shoes
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    I have a two-month-old DS, and he nurses about every two hours. Sounds like you're doing everything right to me - especially if your little one is happy and healthy!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    You're doing great! And yiu know that beacause your baby is happy and thriving! My 4mo still eats that often because he sleeps all night. There is no way you are goin to spoil that child by feeding him when he's hungry. Rather, what you are doing is teaching your child that you will respond to his needs and building his trust in you, which is the foundation of a lifetime of good relationships. (so the current wisdom goes, and I personally think it makes sense.) Also, by responding to his hunger, you are hopefully teaching him to eat when he's hungry and to stop when he's had enough. Putting babies on a strict schedule teaches them to eat when they're not hungry and leads to overeating and obesity.

    It's hard when your mother thinks you should do something differently - mine thinks I should start solids now - and of course you turned out fine and it doesn't mean that your mother did anything wrong. But the whole point of life is to learn and grow and we now do the best we can according to the current research. You're doing a great job!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Need to vent - and how often do you feed a 2 month old baby?

    Alicia- You're doing great! I've tried to learn to just let people's comments roll off of my back, because everyone (especially family) seems to have an opinion even though no one asked for it. I know it would be hard from your mom, but remember YOU are your son's mom, not her. It's ultimately your decision how you feed him, be proud that you're responding to his needs!

    My son is 2 months and eats every 2.5-3 hours also. Even through the night. That is not abnormal from what I'm reading!

    How often does someone who is hungry wait 2 hours to eat? No one does as an adult so how fair is that to do to a little baby who depends on you to survive? If he's hungry, he's hungry!

    One thing I tell my (very forceful) brother who is often blurting out unrequested advice. "You've already raised your kids and you did it the way you wanted to- now let me".

    Take care and hang in there!

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