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Thread: Ready to quit

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    634

    Default Ready to quit

    I dont even know what to write, Im just sitting here in tears. This whole breastfeeding thing had gone horribly wrong for me. Ever since DS turned 4mo its has been one thing after another..it has been a constant struggle to get him to drink milk. First he started refusing my breasts. I was heartbroken. I could only bf him lying down and when he's asleep. Eventually that stopped working too except during the night. He would only bf a few times during the day and they didnt last more than 2 minutes. Then the ped said he was a bit small, so I finally had to let go of trying to bf him and started pumping. At 6 mths old, he was only taking 0.5-1.5oz per feeding, and a total of 6-8oz during the day. He would scream and cry and fight to get out of my arms everytime I try to feed him the bottle. I never gave up, I continued pumping and feeding him, everyday recording how many oz he took. Recently I have been so happy. I have managed to increase his total from 6-8 to 13-16oz. I finally felt that I have a normal baby again, one who "drinks" and enjoys milk (even this was a struggle, it has to be at certain time of the day, certain conditions, sometimes when nothing works I have to just put him in the car and drive him around the block a couple of times while feeding him). But for the past 4 days, he had gone from 16oz of BM to 4oz to 3oz and today, none at all. Maybe its just the cold he's having, or maybe he's teething, I dont know. But Im so tired of trying to get him to drink milk. And today, I also found out that I have excess lipase problem and that I need to scald my milk.
    I feel like giving up. Its not a question of BM vs formula for me, I do supplement whenever I dont have enough. The problem here is when he refuses to drink milk, its any kind of milk. Im supposed to be pumping right now, but I dont know what for. Why do I pump when my baby is contented with drinking just water all day? Im so tired.

  2. #2
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Ready to quit


  3. #3
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    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: Ready to quit

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/l...essedmilk.html

    to you. I hope things get better for you and your LO with milk. I attached a link from kellymom on things to help with excess lipase. Hopefully when his cold passes, he will get back to where you feel comfy again.
    Does he refuse milk at night when he is really sleepy? My LO has significantly cut down on his daytime feeds, and it is heartbreaking. He just arches away and wants to do other things. The only thing that keeps the milk coming is the nighttime feeds and sleepy feeds, and an occasional daytime feed. He is just so interested in learning and exploring. I am not going to wean him at night so that our nursing can continue.
    Anyway, we are thinking of you and hope things get better for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing with.

    Kathryn,
    Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshua
    born on 11/2/2006

    and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby!
    born on 6/15/09



    MOBY WRAPS ROCK

  4. #4
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,374

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    Selina don't be sad. You are doing GREAT! It sounds like you faced a nursing strike at 4months. And you have been working through it. Even Mothers that never have issues sometimes get stressed or nervous about the lack of interest around 6months. It's as though someone just turned on the whole world and at the same time, gave them control of their arms, gave them the idea they may be able to roll over and teething pain showed up! It's ALOT for a little baby brain. The lipase issue makes me wonder if it's possible to get the baby back to the breast at all?? Because my understanding is that the flavor issue only becomes a problem when milk is stored? Not when fed fresh? I personally was never worried, I was actually relieved that DJ was more active and eating less because at that age I was very fearful that he might become Obese...but I would spend time playing with him every day with my shirt off. The "no pressure" approach to food. And he would do "drive by feedings" That's where he would be using me as a human jungle gym and take a few sucks and keep going. But he'd do it all day. Part of the protesting may be just in the idea of having to stop playing or exploring. If you bring your bare breast into the equation and he doesn't have to stop what he's doing....it may work. Much like feeding a baby on strike right before or while they are sleeping. Even if they are consciously "fighting" the breast, they will still suck it instinctively. Like a reflex. Try it. And don't feel rejected. Your doing the best you can. It's all you can ever do!

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    634

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    Quote Originally Posted by KathrynK View Post
    [url] to you. I hope things get better for you and your LO with milk. I attached a link from kellymom on things to help with excess lipase. Hopefully when his cold passes, he will get back to where you feel comfy again.
    Does he refuse milk at night when he is really sleepy? My LO has significantly cut down on his daytime feeds, and it is heartbreaking. He just arches away and wants to do other things. The only thing that keeps the milk coming is the nighttime feeds and sleepy feeds, and an occasional daytime feed. He is just so interested in learning and exploring. I am not going to wean him at night so that our nursing can continue.
    Thanks Kathryn. DS still feeds at night 3-5x. But I know he's not getting much as he only takes from one breast per feeding and last 3-4mins each time. My breast still feels full afterwards.

    I am considering stopping the daytime bottle feeds as this is really wearing me out mentally and emotionally (besides, most of the time he refuses and the milk is wasted anyway) and just let him decide when he wants to feed, like what you're doing.. I may need to start PMing you soon

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    634

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    Selina don't be sad. You are doing GREAT! It sounds like you faced a nursing strike at 4months. And you have been working through it. Even Mothers that never have issues sometimes get stressed or nervous about the lack of interest around 6months. It's as though someone just turned on the whole world and at the same time, gave them control of their arms, gave them the idea they may be able to roll over and teething pain showed up! It's ALOT for a little baby brain. The lipase issue makes me wonder if it's possible to get the baby back to the breast at all?? Because my understanding is that the flavor issue only becomes a problem when milk is stored? Not when fed fresh? I personally was never worried, I was actually relieved that DJ was more active and eating less because at that age I was very fearful that he might become Obese...but I would spend time playing with him every day with my shirt off. The "no pressure" approach to food. And he would do "drive by feedings" That's where he would be using me as a human jungle gym and take a few sucks and keep going. But he'd do it all day. Part of the protesting may be just in the idea of having to stop playing or exploring. If you bring your bare breast into the equation and he doesn't have to stop what he's doing....it may work. Much like feeding a baby on strike right before or while they are sleeping. Even if they are consciously "fighting" the breast, they will still suck it instinctively. Like a reflex. Try it. And don't feel rejected. Your doing the best you can. It's all you can ever do!
    Thanks DJ's Mom. I have come to accept the fact that there is nothing much that I can do about the nursing strike and his interest in the world around him. Thats why I have given up BFg (during the day) and pumping instead. But its not just about that.. even getting him to take a bottle is a struggle.

    I am soo envious of mothers whose children are 'addicted' to their breasts! What I would give to have that! All I get are the night time feeds where he'd wake up crying and immediately after I pop my breast he'd close his eyes and doze off again. I dont get to cradle him and watch him enjoy his milk. Dont get to NIP either, altho there was one time at the ped I went into the nursing room pretended to nurse him.. just wanted to experience it (sorry.. serious self pity party going on there..)

    Even the night time feeds are a major stress factor. He has to be fed immediately after he wakes up, and in the right environment (for example he has to wake up on a bed, not in the car, in the swing etc) or else he'd start screaming and refuse to nurse. If this happens, he loses one feed which means less milk is consumed . If he does feed, it has to be the side laying position with me laying extremely still. Even my breathing has to be light (which is tough after running up the stairs lightning fast to attend to him quickly) - where's the fun in that?? Why oh why must it be so difficult .

    Anyway, I might try your no pressure approach. Only concern is whether he'll be getting enough. These past few days his urine had been yellow, so Im a bit worried. But we shall see..

    Thanks for your response.. This has been a long whiny one.. just need to let it out, I wonder if anyone made it this far anyway

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9,280

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    You are NOT whining!!

    I totally understand and feel your concern. My son has never been a comfort nurser. And nurses so quickly I always wonder if he's getting enough. Not to mention that hes a skinny little thing. We do the best we can. Stress WILL lower your supply.

    I mentioned this in another thread, but you could try enriching his solids. Offer avocado mixed with breastmilk, very milky oatmeal (breastmilk of course). Make every spoonful count!!

    You are doing so much for your son. I really admire your dedication and focus to his health and well-being. Don't forget to take care of you too!

    Lyn
    Lyn
    Nursing the girl with kaleidoscope eyes


    Mama to Daniel (12/3/06) and Lucy Jane (8/28/08)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Not around here as much :(
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    12,132

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    I just wanted to come give you a mama - you've done a lot sticking to it the way you have... he's one lucky boy to have a determined mama such as yourself
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    528

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    Just wanted to see if you've investigated any health problems? Refusal to eat can be due to acid reflux. Not sure if he has any symptoms, it just a thought...
    Mom to Abigail, born May 3rd, 2007 (self-weaned at 27 mths) and Charlotte, born Nov. 24th, 2009. Both reflux babies and EBF. Charlotte weighs 31 lbs at 26 mths.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    634

    Default Re: Ready to quit

    Lyn & Eme: Thank you so much for your kind words

    abaker89: He doesnt show any symptom of acid reflux. He eats solids like a champ and still nurses at night, so Im very sure he is just a distractible baby. The recent more severe strike I am hoping that it's caused by the cold he's having (Im praying really hard here). Or maybe he just doesnt like milk, coz both DH and I hate milk! I dont know..

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