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Thread: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

  1. #1
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    Sep 2007
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    Default Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    My baby will be 6 weeks old in a few days and I was wondering when was a good time to start trying to break her habit of only sleeping in my arms. She will fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I put her down she freaks out and when I pick her up she goes right back to sleep. I know that newborns need to be held so I was wondering at what age I can just let her cry herself back to sleep. Also how long should I let her cry before I pick her up. Thank You for all who give me advice.

  2. #2
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    Have you heard of babywearing? It will give you some freedom while comforting your little one.

    I am completely against CIO (cry it out). It happened here for a while and my son totally shut down, went on a nursing and bottle strike and was scary thin/dehydrated. We started co-sleeping and babywearing again and he started eating and gaining weight again. This is called "shutdown syndrome."

    "The Attachment Parenting Book" and "The Fussy Baby Book" both by Dr. Sears should give you as much help and info as you need.


  3. #3
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    Quote Originally Posted by jenwyat04 View Post
    My baby will be 6 weeks old in a few days and I was wondering when was a good time to start trying to break her habit of only sleeping in my arms. She will fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I put her down she freaks out and when I pick her up she goes right back to sleep. I know that newborns need to be held so I was wondering at what age I can just let her cry herself back to sleep. Also how long should I let her cry before I pick her up. Thank You for all who give me advice.
    I completely understand the need for sleep, and how desperate you can get for it after a while! But I am very strongly against cry it out (CIO). New studies come out periodically stating that it is actually harmful to babies to be left alone to cry, and when you think about it, what is the point? To "prove" to your baby they can't depend on you? Every instinct you have as a mother will be screaming at you to go get your child, and I'm a big proponent of trusting your instincts

    However, even if you decide to try it at some point, 6 weeks is much too young. You might try the Sleep board (further down the page) for additional input. Our favorite guide was Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution - it was a godsend. We also cosleep, and DS (now 15 months) lays down and nurses to sleep easily, and once he's asleep I get up and leave. Works great for us! Good luck, and I hope your LO cooperates and lets you get some sleep soon!
    Erin - Hayden James is my beautiful boy - we've been nursing happily for two years, with no end in sight!


    Change the language, change the reality.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    27

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    Are you making sure that she's in a good deep sleep before you put her down? Sometimes when we put our 6 week old down when she's just in a light sleep, she'll wake back up. (However, we're trying to get her used to this, as it can take a long time to get her into deep sleep.)

    The other thing that sometimes works for us is laying on of hands. She'll often startle a little bit when we lay her down. Rather than pick her up, my husband or I will put a hand on her chest/arm, which will often settle her a bit. Then we sl-o-o-o-o-wly remove the hand and make sure she's still asleep (and if not, back goes the hand or hands). I think this mimics the comfort they get from swaddling. (We always swaddle her at night, which helps prevent her from waking herself up when she startles.)

    I second the recommendation for the No-Cry Sleep Solution.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    228

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    It took me a long time to realize that it works better for my babies and me when I adapt to them rather than expect them to adapt to me. Here are some things I've figured out work for us:

    - Sleeping in bed with me. They can nurse while I doze, or we all doze.
    - Carrying them in a sling (babywearing - already mentioned!)
    - Sitting in a chair and nursing, even when they just finished nursing.
    - No expectation of a schedule. They sleep when they sleep, they nurse when they nurse!

    However, I can say that now my babies are 11 months old, if they don't fall asleep nursing, I put them in their beds awake and they cry for about 5 minutes or so before they fall asleep.

    I wouldn't have felt comfortable trying that until they were probably around 9 months old, though.

    Follow your mothering instinct. Does it feel right to hear your baby crying by herself in her bed? How long would be okay with you?

    Some in my extended family let their babies cry for hours by themselves. That doesn't feel right to me, but they think I'm nuts for holding my babies all the time.

    Every parent-baby combo is different!

  6. #6
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    Jul 2007
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    109

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    My 5 month old nurses to sleep every night! If I am still up watching TV or on the computer, I will let her lay across my lap. She sleeps very well this way. I think, the feeling of closeness to me...After a while, I try to lay her down gently, while keeping my hands and arms around her for a while. Then I slowly and carefully move out of the way, trying not to change her position. Co-sleeping works great for us! Hey, my theory is "hold 'em now, because pretty soon the day will come when they won't want you to hold 'em"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    470

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    Congrats on your new baby!

    I know how hard it is when you can't put the baby down to sleep on her own. But don't worry, it won't always be like this!

    I worried about our son developing bad sleeping habits like needing to be rocked to sleep, held to sleep, nursed to sleep, etc. So I tried different kinds of methods to try and get him to fall asleep on his own. Eventually, I realised that he has his own patterns of sleep which changes as he grows. As soon as I think I've got one particular method down, he changes again!

    The good news is, when he reached his 12th month, he began sleeping thru the night, on his own. What helped us was establishing some kind of routine for bedtime and naptimes. At 6 weeks it may be a little early to expect baby to understand, but a routine still helps.
    Caylen Koen Chew (25/05/06)
    Lost No.2 in Aug 2008 ... Lost No. 3 in May 2009 Hoping for another ... Enjoying No.1



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    113

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    I didn't read all the other posts, so forgive me if I'm being repetative, but here is my advice.... Put your Lo in a swing. There's absolutely no harm in that. I used to put my dd#2 in the swing for naps AND some nights when I was desperate for some rest, otherwise we co-slept. That's what worked for our family......I did that for the first Five months. Today, she is 8.5 months and has slept in her crib since she started sleeping from 8:00 p.m. till 5:00 a.m. I don't believe in letting my lo CIO, it's not healthy (nor effective)for the baby or the mother. The first thing babies learn is TRUST vs. MISTRUST, babies cry for a reason, your baby is still very young, please be patient with her. Hold her as often as she will let you, before you know it she will be walking and independent and you will miss the days when you just held her in your arms. GL

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    254

    Default Re: Not a breastfeeding question but I need input

    Try putting your baby down when she is only in a deep sleep (look for limp limbs and lack of eye movement, facial grimaces). Also, a sling is awesome to let the baby sleep on you while giving you freedom to do other things. From what I've read, the CIO approach only teaches babies to mistrust their parents ... that their needs won't be met when they attempt to communicate them. They eventually stop crying because a disconnection has been made. Also, we've gotten much more sleep since letting the baby sleep in our bed. Sometimes we still put her in a pack n' play in our room, but if we want to get a little longer stretch of sleep, we just bring her in the bed. Hope this helps! Everyone says it gets better, so hang in there!

    BTW, for me also having no expectations about a schedule has made me more relaxed and I grab sleep and get things done as I can. Go with whatever works, right?
    Jen, momma to Charlotte Rae born 9/25/07

    Still breastfeeding !

    and !


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