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Thread: Urgent, desperately need help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    31

    Default Urgent, desperately need help!

    I have been back to work two weeks this Wed. Working 8am-5pm. I pump every 3 hrs so DD has milk while I am gone. She will be 4 months old on the 10th. The problem? From when I get home till she falls asleep she is nursing. I know it's not just for food but also for comfort but it's getting out of hand. I realize she misses me, I miss her desperately when i'm gone, but she freaks out if I put her down long enough to go pee, much less cook some dinner. I feel like she & I don't get to enjoy each other anymore because we don't get to play or read books together or practice cooing, just nurse. Pretty much the same all weekend too. My hubby says just let her nurse when she is hungry, ok, how do I know the difference in hungry & wants mommy? And...how do I let her cry her little heart out when she just wants to be close to me and nurse because she missed me, even if it is for HOURS ON END. I really need your help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,813

    Default Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    All I can give you is a pat on the shoulder. I've been there and it does get better, but I also know how hard it's to get stuff around the house done even when you're at home all day and it's much harder when you work. It'll be very difficult to get to change your little girl's behavior but it's less stressing to look for options to work around her needs, my only suggestion is to use a sling and go from there looking for new ways to get stuff done. When DS was smaller I bought a mechanic arm so I can pick up stuff from the floor while I carry him and from there I came out with more ideas. If you're willing to work around your little girl I could give you more ideas, I just couldn't bare to let my LO cry it out as the only thing it did was depress me more and stress me out.

    Good Luck! and as I said it does get better.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    What you're describing is very normal, especially in those first weeks after returning to work. However, that information probably doesn't make it any easier for you.

    Do you have a sling or baby carrier of some type? Having your arms free, so you can accomplish a few things while baby gets her needs met can help you both adjust.

    I talked this over with a friend of mine; her baby is now 9mos old. She's been working since he was 2mos. She said that for a few months, she had to rearrange her priorities, so that her only duties in the evenings are to feed the baby. DH does the other necessary stuff, or it just waits til the weekend. She said that this was a very hard adjustment to make, but her baby needed her. Now that he's older, he's more independent, and doesn't need her as much during the evening.

    Your family is still adjusting to life with you back at work; all of you are trying to figure this out. Get creative; find meals that are easy to prepare, have hubby take baby outside for a short walk while you go pee and start a load of laundry, etc.
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    Yes I have a sling, I am not too sure how comfortable she will be in it nursing but it's worth a try. I am open to any and all ideas. I just can't let her cry when I can make her happy. Life won't always be that simple. Soon enough it'll be a cell phone or a car she wants to make her happy, not me.....Thanks for the ideas

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    317

    Default Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    Here is great news: She is probably getting close to an age where she wants to explore her world, which means she may start nursing more efficently and spend less time at breast so she can study/explore. I would definately look into a sling and/or wrap ( www.wearyourbaby.com has instructions on how to make your own $5, 5 min no-sew wrap and how to use it). so you can wear her in the evening when you are together. that way she will get the close time she wants from you, get to explore her world and you get to put your breasts away for a few hours as well as get things done! The best thing I can recommed for cokking dinner is get a crock pot! Almost every meal at my house comes from the crock pot, a good crock pot cookbook has lots of recipies for different types of meals you can prepare (this weekend we had eggplant chicken primavera via crock pot). And you can get all the ingredients ready the evening before after DD nods off and just throw them in the crock pot on your way out the door in the morning. Then you are greeted by a hot homecooked meal and a yummy smelling house when you get home! And reynolds makes these great crock pot liners which make clean-up a breeze (I still rinse them and throw them in my plastic recycle bin, but it keeps the pot pretty clean). As for bathroom breaks, the only time I have gone to the bathroom in privacy while at home was either when someone else was there and distracted DCs or after they were sleeping. Hang in there! It gets better and you are doing a great job!
    Amanda Mom to James (2/25/04) and nursling Alice (8/24/05)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    31

    Smile Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    It has gotten better since she has had a couple of weeks to adjust to me being gone during the day. I am jealous now because she is so satisfies from her bottles while I am at work she doesn't nurse much at all when i'm home. I was worried about my milk production dropping so I asked DH to not feed her a full bottle if she gets hungry near time for me to come home. Other than that I come home, she eats and then will play, coo & socialize. I may get to be a stay at home mommy again soon. *fingers crossed* Thanks for the advice!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Urgent, desperately need help!

    So glad to hear that things are calming down a little for you. :-)
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

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