Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    44

    Unhappy I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

    In a mad desperate attempt to get ds to take the bottle before I return to work, we exclusively fed him from a bottle, day and night. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and I am so sad, I miss him nursing and looking up at me so much! I still feed him the bottle myself, but it's just not the same. My pumping seems fruitless as well these days. I probably should have been pumping every couple of hours, but I didn't and now I can tell that my supply is dwindling. I only pumped 3 ounces after 3 hours of not pumping. I am no longer engorged either. I feel a little full in the morning, but that's pretty much it.

    I have refrained from letting him nurse from me since I didn't want to interfere with the progress he was making with the bottle. In the past, it seemed to be the major thing that would set us back. We would get him to take a bottle, then he would take the breast and then cry again when we would try to give him the bottle.

    I snuck myself in for a feeding in the late morning, and didn't tell dh, but my breasts seemed so deflated and ds pulled off more times than he latched on. It was a huge let down for me and ds. I have been drinking Mother's Milk tea, but I don't even know if it will work.

    I guess I just need to be happy that my son will now take the bottle at daycare, and he can still get the benefits of breastmilk. I'm the one suffering emotionally now!

    Has anyone else gone through this? I just hope that he won't get too used to the bottle and won't want me anymore! Also, does anyone know if you can keep a good supply up by just pumping? I am going to read some of the threads on increasing your supply in the meantime.

    I guess I just needed to vent a little, and everyone here is always so supportive. DH tries, but he just doesn't seem to understand the emotional stuff that comes with breastfeeding our son. I return to work in one week, which only adds to my stress level.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,330

    Default Re: I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

    I understand how you feel. You are wise to get your son to take a bottle in advance - I didn't do this and DD was lost for 2 weeks at DC. However, I think you should still nurse him, too. We now successfully do both. DD only gets bottles at DC and nurses exclusively at home - mornings, evenings and weekends. I don't know if it would help to only have others give DS the bottle while you are away from him. I've never given my DD a bottle - it's always been someone else - DH or DC. Maybe this would confuse him less? I think you can have both with time. Hang in there

    Amy

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    473

    Default Re: I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

    I feel so sad for you. The emotional side of nursing and bonding is very important.

    My son was a holy terror with the bottle and truthfully, he never really took it well. He would just take enough to get by until he saw me again, and he would only take it from specific care providers. We tried every bottle on the market too. It is so awful to see them struggle. Now I did have something else going on when we were trying to get him to take the bottle, my milk has excessive lipase and tasted like crap. Then I found this forum, THANK GOD, and learned about Lipase, bottle refusal, and reverse cycling.

    I would pump as much as you can, and it is obviously hurting you emotionally, so I would latch that baby on and nurse him if that what feels right to you. You will never get this time back.

    Going back to work is very hard, and the smile on my son's face and him reaching for me to nurse as soon as he could just made it all so much better. He's 14 months now, and I'm still pumping milk for him during work, and he still throws a fit if he isn't nursing within 2 minutes of me being home. I can't even change my clothes he just wants to reconnect so badly with Mommy. Some babies are just that way, thank goodness daycare is very experienced and he's not the first kid they've seen refuse bottles. He reversed his cycyle and started nursing A LOT at night. You will probably want to prepare yourself for that, I was shocked how much he nursed at night to make up for time away from mom during the day. Before I went back to work he had settled into a nice sleep routine and was only waking up once. Now he still wakes up at least 2, but usually 3 times a night.

    Hugs to you again, remember the boards are here for support and encouragment.
    Last edited by LunaticLibrarian; October 9th, 2007 at 09:07 AM.

    My Little Reverse Cyclers
    *DS born July 2006, nursed 3 yrs 10 mos!
    *DD born January 2011, happily nursing and bucking the bottle just like big brother
    *One Angel baby we sadly never met July 2009

    Happily married to an amazing man who puts up with all my craziness since 1999.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    6,959

    Default Re: I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

    Quote Originally Posted by Bransmommy View Post
    I have refrained from letting him nurse from me since I didn't want to interfere with the progress he was making with the bottle. In the past, it seemed to be the major thing that would set us back. We would get him to take a bottle, then he would take the breast and then cry again when we would try to give him the bottle.

    I snuck myself in for a feeding in the late morning, and didn't tell dh, but my breasts seemed so deflated and ds pulled off more times than he latched on. It was a huge let down for me and ds. I have been drinking Mother's Milk tea, but I don't even know if it will work.
    Hi there, It really sounds like you still want to breast feed! If you want to and your baby wants to, there should be no barrier.
    Many mothers find that their babies refuse a bottle when they are around. Why should they accept something substandard, when delicious mama is right there! He can smell you, and your milk. I did some recent reading on the subject of smell and recognition in infants. He really can tell you have milk. He's no dummy!
    Go ahead and just nurse your baby, its ok. Really! A hungry baby will take a bottle eventually. Why worry too much now that you know baby can work a bottle. You wanted him to learn, well he did. So you are free to nurse.
    I would start placing baby at the breast every two hours or hour and a half. The more you nurse the better. Milk is produced by supply and demand, you just need to demand more of your body, give it a few days and everything will be up and running.
    Have you considered a little heart to heart with your husband/ Maybe knowing how important it is to you will allow him more acceptance of the idea. It really sounds like it is very important to you. I am sure your bay would love to have his mama's breast back. He might need a second to figure it all out again though... It will be ok.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    67

    Default Re: I'm so incredibly sad...yet somehow glad

    I pumped exclusively for the first eight days of my lo's life and it was even more milk than she needed. So pumping will help keep supply. But I agree with the pp I think you should definitely nurse when you are with him and give a bottle when you are away. They will learn and you will have no problems with that in the future but if you allow to much time without bf then he will eventually will stop all together. So Nurse, nurse, nurse and pump when you need too. Don't worry about training him he will learn on his own. Babies are very adaptable just give them some time.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •