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Thread: At my wits end

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    71

    Default At my wits end

    When is b'fing supposed to get easier? My LO is 8 weeks and is giving me a run for my money.

    I can't seem to wean him off of the nipple shield.

    I am a poor pumper, I'm lucky to get 1 oz at a time between both sides.

    He constantly falls asleep while nursing and is near impossible to wake up. I put him down, and he will stay quiet anywhere from 5 ins to an hour.

    He cries and pulls himself off of the breast constantly, or he just plays with my nipple. He has taken to biting down and moving his head side to side lately - ouch!

    He will nurse sometimes for 2 hours and still not seem satisfied. I have been taking fenugreek and just added blessed thistle. I normally end up giving him a bottle of formula after giving him tha pathetic amount of EBM I have.

    I am so frustrated that I am about to give up. What am I doing wrong? I don't see other mothers going through this around me. What's wrong with me?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    Default Re: At my wits end



    You are so not alone. Some moms have a really easy time with BFing. Others find it more challenging. (I did.) And some find it challenging but are afraid to admit it, so you only perceive them to be having an easy time.

    I promise it will get easier. It's still early in your BFing relationship. I don't think Haley and I really hit our stride until around 10 weeks or so. We had a number of challenges that made the whole experience less than the beautiful thing I had hoped it would be. I can tell you that now we are doing just fine, but we do still run into the occasional issue (a mini nursing strike, and just recently teething and low supply). So, you will find there are always challenges, but they will get easier to deal with, and you will get in the groove eventually.

    Have you talked to a IBCLC or LLL leader about the nipple shield? I know there are ways to wean, but I don't have experience with it. I'd think having some hands-on help might benefit you in that case.

    As for the pumping, babies are generally more efficient at drawing out milk than pumps, so don't be discouraged. A friend of mine has always struggled with pumping, and since she doesn't need to pump, she just chooses not to at all. I don't know if that's an option for you, but just know that it's not all that uncommon to have smaller output with pumping.

    As for the falling asleep, what have you tried to help him stay awake while he nurses? You can strip him down to the diaper, jiggle his arm gently, walk your fingers up and down his back or tickle his feet, tap under his chin, sit him upright.... And are you thinking he might not be getting enough? If he is content, gaining well, has good diaper output, I wouldn't worry about the sleeping and just enjoy it. If you're concerned about him getting enough food, then you might have to really work at keeping him awake. I've heard that breast compression can help too, but I am not experienced in that area.

    When he cries and pulls off the breast, is it right after letdown? Does he seem to choke or sputter on the milk? It could be that you have overactive letdown, which can make babies (especially so young) mad. I'd recommend checking out kellymom.com and read about the symptoms, see if it matches, and if so, check out the good advice for dealing with it.

    It's also possible your LO just really needs to comfort suck a lot (this could be why he nurses so long). Haley did at that age, and still does sometimes. You can try offering your finger for him to suck on instead of the breast. Or you could try a pacifier. (Everyone has different opinions about the paci, but I used it quite successfully.)

    With the biting down and moving his head, my LC told me babies often do this to try to start or stop the flow of milk, so it could again be related to either (a) OALD and him wanting to slow the flow, or (b) needing to comfort suck and being upset that there's milk coming out when he just wants to suck.

    Nothing is wrong with you, mama. You're doing great. Keep asking questions, and I know other mamas will chime in with their advice too. Hang in there! It will get better!
    Last edited by Pajama Mama; October 8th, 2007 at 11:30 AM.
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Not around here as much :(
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    Default Re: At my wits end

    First of all mama, nothing is wrong with you... let me say many moms have gone through such struggles as you've mentioned! Many of us

    Can I ask if you've called a LLL leader? Have you been to a meeting? Sometimes moms take great comfort in actually being in contact with other moms - some of which will have experienced some of the concerns you have.

    What prompted you to being using the shield?
    What kinds of things have you dont to get him off the sheild?


    Do you have a need for the pumped milk right now (ie going back to work etcetera) ?

    Have you seen this link regarding being fussy at the breast?

    The he may be going through a growth spurt right now and that could be the reason for being seemingly unsatisfied. To make sure they're really getting enough you can do diaper counts... that will let you kow he's getting enough and then you can feel better about those cluster feeds


    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    71

    Default Re: At my wits end

    Thank you for your reply. To answer your questions, I don't think I have an OALD, but there are a few times here and there that he does gulp, pull away and cough, and then go right back on again. It doesn't happen every nursing session though.

    I have talked to a LC about the weaning, and have tried everything they has suggested.

    I have tried everything underneath the sun to keep him awake during nursing sessions. Sometimes he falls asleep about 5 minutes in, and I know he hasn't gotten enough at that point. I do do breast compression, and it does help. But, once he is crying, it is near impossible to get him to nurse at all.

    I am just so frustrated, and am having a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I don't want to take it out on him or anybody else for that matter. All I can do is sit and cry.

    I have been getting pains in my breasts lately, and can only assume that it has something to do with him not "emptying" the breast when he eats.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Not around here as much :(
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    Default Re: At my wits end

    While LC's mean well sometimes they cant offer everything... I still am curious as to why you got on the shield to start with.

    Can you try calling a LLL leader? links to find one near you are in my signature.


    Take a deep breath ... how are his diapers? Does he have sufficient output? If so, then he's getting enough - but the pain in your breast might be a concern. Please call a leader to get their take on it all. They are there to help
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    2,770

    Default Re: At my wits end

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, mama! I would be very emotional too. I just know you can work through this, and I hope you'll find some help!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    71

    Default Re: At my wits end

    I started using the shield in the hospital b/c I was so swollen from 29 hrs of pitocin, there wasn't anything for him to latch on to.

    He has lots of wets. He isn't a daily pooper, has never really been.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
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    Default Re: At my wits end

    Wow! thats a lot of pitocin! I can see how it could be difficult.

    Well, - I cant stress enough to call a leader. In person help can offer the most assistance for these types os things. IMO
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    2,770

    Default Re: At my wits end

    Quote Originally Posted by AimeeS View Post
    He isn't a daily pooper, has never really been.
    Lucky! Haley still poops at least once, and sometimes multiple times, in a day. I wish she'd slow down!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    71

    Default Re: At my wits end

    After 5 hours of almost non-stop crying this morning, he is quiet with a bottle. I lost count how many times I put him on the breast.

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