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Thread: I can't take anymore!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    14

    Angry I can't take anymore!!

    Hi Ladies,

    I'm sorry to be such a pain and post with the same thing but today has been terrible!!! I really am thinking that this is the end of breastfeeding for me and my LO. I am gutted, upset, angry and a whole lot of different emotions. I just want to burst into tears! This has been going on for 6/7 weeks now!

    I posted a couple of weeks back about my LO refusing to nurse. She does nurse - but only during the night. This isn't enough for a 7 month old is it.

    Last night she didn't nurse whatsoever - but was still up, crying etc. She had a feed this morning but since then, evertyime i've tried to feed her she's having none of it. I feel as if i'm just upsetting her now and making her think that feeding is a horrible time. She's also started biting as she's two new teeth (I originally thought she was like this due to teething). I'm not making any noise when she bites, it is extremely painful and my nipples are starting to go pink, like they did in the begininng. If she's biting, is that her way of saying she doesn't want it anymore? I've offered her a feed so many times today - before giving her solids, but she just gets hysterical - which in turn is starting to get me very down. I do feel as if she's starting to wean - but lots of people have told me this is very rare for my LO being so young.

    Originally it started with me having to walk around with her until I got the let-down reflex, but she's not even willing to do that anymore.

    If my supply was really low - would that effect the let-down reflex or how long it takes for it to happen? Sorry it's such a silly question, but i'm just so confused at the moment. I really don't want to give up, but feel as if i've no option - she's telling me she doesn't like it anymore and it's so hurtful!

    I was thinking the way she was today may have something to do with my supply. I normally work full time but have today off. So when it came to the time she normally has a bottle, I tried to feed her myself (I refuse to give her a bottle when she's at home with me). But since my boobs have got used to not feeding at these times there wouldn't have been much there, is that right? I don't pump either. She was latching on and sucking for a few seconds but then just getting really upset.

    This is awful - I just don't know what to do. Is it ok for her to just have a morning and evening feed? What about fluids in between, shall I give her water?

    I never expected it to turn out like this - it's just too sudden!

    Please, if anyone has gone through a similar situation and managed to get the LO to nurse properly again, let me know so I have at least a glimmer of hope. I'm starting to take it all far too personally, as if my LO is the only LO in the world to have done this! It's crazy.

    So sorry it's long, thanks for reading.

    Love
    Les
    X

  2. #2
    ericsmom is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    I just wanted to let you know that I've been there! I know it must seem like no one understands how sad you can feel over not being able to feed your baby, but I think a lot of moms on this forum do. With my first baby and with my second I have had breast refusals. With my first baby I ended up weaning him at 6 months because it was so frustrating and I was so upset over the whole thing. But this second time around we perservered. It is really REALLY hard to do, but if you can be calm and not take it personally things will go smoother.

    I don't have a lot of advice, but is there anyway you can get your hands on a pump? That way you can pump until you get a let down and then stick you lo on- maybe after a few days of doing that and baby getting immediate satisfaction then bfing will go smoother.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    14

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    Thanks so much for your reply.

    It's good that people on here understand. I just feel as if i've no-one to talk to about this. My partner doesn't understand - his opinion is that she's growing fine, is happy enough (apart from feeding off me) so what's the problem.

    I do have a pump. Someone gave me a battery operated one but I just can't use it! I've tried and tried and I just can't let down with it - I only get a few drips. I tried today when my LO was getting annoyed. I ended up giving her the few drips I did get out on a spoon. I've tried massaging my breasts but nothing works - I'm just far too tense! Was thinking of hiring a hospital grade pump but need to talk to my partner first - he'll probably think it's not worth it.

    I'm at my wits end - I feel so down about it and i'm taking it out on everyone else.

    Thanks for your support.

    X

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    309

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    Hi there,
    I'm sorry to hear you sounding so upset and frustrated. You've got the double upset of seeing your baby distressed, plus the horrible feelings of rejection that come when it seems like your baby doesn't want to nurse. I'm getting the feeling that your partner isn't 100% supportive either? That can't be helping.
    The people that have told you that it's unlikely that your baby is weaning are probably right. It is unusual for a baby of 7 months to wean themselves. However, I appreciate that that is probably of no comfort whatsoever when you are going through a horrible time like now. You want someone to tell you what the problem is, not what it isn't I guess!
    Have you spoken to a LLL leader or trained supporter from one of the other UK based breastfeeding support organisations? Calling one of the telephone helplines and talking to someone who has the expertise to help, plus an understanding listening ear may really help you.
    In the meanwhile, here are a couple of articles that might be of some help (apologies if you've already seen them)
    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/strike.html
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...st.html#resist
    You're going through a tough time at the moment and I can imagine things are looking a bit bleak at the moment. But all is not lost, and whatever happens from now you have given your baby a terrific start in life. You can be proud of that achievement, wherever you go from here.

  5. #5
    ericsmom is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    I don't know how much a hospital grade pump costs to rent, but if it isn't outrageous, I'd give it a shot. it is hard to get a let down with a pump, you sort of have to train yourself to do it- and you don't want to have a screaming baby around you when you are trying. Maybe try pumping when you don't have to feed- like an hour after you've fed lo. And try in the morning- its easier.

    If you can't pump don't stress- its hard to think of it this way but it is probably just a phase and things will even out soon. Have you tried nursing in a dark and quiet place? I use a fan for white noise, and a pilates ball helps too. We bouce up and down and it seems to help.

    I know you are probably in a bad place right now emotionally... just try to think that you've given lo 7 months of bfing and that is a lot more than most people.

    I know some people might not appreciate this... but when I was going through a nursing strike and then subsequent let down issues, I sat myself down and thought of all the positives about weaning (I'd have more time to do other things if husband fed... I could drink all the coffee and beer I felt like... no more nursing bras.... etc.) Eventhough I didn't have to wean I had sort of prepared myself and at least got my head into a better place.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    568

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    Les,
    I am SOOOOO with you. DS is still doing exactly the same as your DD. We have the odd good day and the rest are crappy. I am so sick of fighting with him to get him to feed, and of course, my main problem with the whole thing is my concern that he isn't getting enough.....
    At my BF support group this afternoon, a LC attended and I chatted to her at great length about nursing strike. She confirmed what I thought, that they are very common in young babies and very often triggered by teething. She also said that as long as the LO is producing wet and poo nappies, generally things are ok. My let down is taking forever at the moment, and I think it's mainly to do with me being so tense. #
    So, I'm with you. Just remember that you're doing absolutely the best thing you can for your baby, and if you can't do it anymore for whatever reason, the FFing is not the worse thing in the world. I too am up and down with my emotions about this all the time. Yesterday we had had such a bad night, and the day began badly, and I was unbelievably close to buying some formula to "make life easier". But then today has not been so bad I guess, apart from him refusing to nurse at the BF support group, and everyone watching in wonder at this screaming baby!!


    Sorry to ramble, just want to send you lots of and
    Claire, Mum to Archie, 5 and Jack, almost 3! Number 3 on the way!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    I am soooo sorry that you are going through this. I have breastfed one child, now three, and am currently breastfeeding a 2 month old. I have never been through what you're experiencing but as I was reading I was wondering if you've tried feeding you're lo solids and following up with bf. Is it possible that your lo is going through a growth spurt and is simply not getting enough bm? If you could get a hospital grade pump that would probably help you as well. There is a new bottle system out called BreastFlow. It is designed specifically to work like a breast (it even has two nipples- a nipple inside of a nipple to make the baby work harder like at a breast). This bottle is designed to simulate a breast with "let-down" flow and everything. Maybe you could invest in a set of these bottles ($11.99 at Target.com for three 5-oz bottles) and let your significant other help out when things get too emotionally stressful on you. (and maybe he'll learn to be a little more supportive of your needs). Let me know how things go....good luck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    1,197

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    My son had been EXACTLY like that between 4-11 months. He would have some good days once in a while but overall just like you describe. In fact that was the reason I found this forum in the first place. He wouldn't take a bottle of EBM either so we went through days of feeding him EBM mixed with cereal with a spoon. Around 11 months we took him to a feeding clinic and they said he had silent reflux. We used reflux medication for about 3 months and his nursing got significantly better. I don't know if it is because of the medication or because he just was going through something and it went away but at almost 15 months he even started to ask to nurse (very rarely though).

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    14

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    Thanks EVERYONE for all your support. I wish I found this forum before I had bubs so I was really clued up. This is my fourth baby girl and I really wanted to BF for longer than I did with the others. I gave up BF the others due to thinking I wasn't satisfying my baby - 'not enough milk' etc.. I am proud of myself for getting this far but a bit annoyed as i'm so persistent that it's actually the baby this time that has the problem!

    I'll update you and let you know how my weekend went.

    I originally posted my message when I was at work on Friday night - I was very low emotionally after a hard day of trying to get my baby to nurse.

    When I got in from work LO was very upset and wouldn't settle for my partner, she had her solids about half an hour before I got in but that didn't settle her. He said that he thought she might want a feed off me. I didn't think so but said i'd try anyway, what the hell, i'd been rejected all day, once more won't make a difference - would you believe it - she actually DID want to nurse and had a really good feed off me!! I was totally shocked - but overjoyed - nearly to the point of tears!!!! BF-ing is such an emotional rollercoaster for me. One minute i'm up, the next down.

    She has been slightly better over the weekend - even managed to feed her in bed with me on Saturday morning. It was bliss. And last night she had TWO feeds during the night!

    I'm dreading my next day off where I feel more rejection will probably occur. I'll just take one day at a time. Poor little mite is poorly at the moment with a horrible cough and constant runny nose!

    It does make me feel a bit better that it's not only my baby that has gone through this horrible patch.

    Thanks again for all your support and replies -they mean a lot to me.

    Love
    Les
    X

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: I can't take anymore!!

    Quote Originally Posted by mommy-amanda View Post
    I am soooo sorry that you are going through this. I have breastfed one child, now three, and am currently breastfeeding a 2 month old. I have never been through what you're experiencing but as I was reading I was wondering if you've tried feeding you're lo solids and following up with bf. Is it possible that your lo is going through a growth spurt and is simply not getting enough bm? If you could get a hospital grade pump that would probably help you as well. There is a new bottle system out called BreastFlow. It is designed specifically to work like a breast (it even has two nipples- a nipple inside of a nipple to make the baby work harder like at a breast). This bottle is designed to simulate a breast with "let-down" flow and everything. Maybe you could invest in a set of these bottles ($11.99 at Target.com for three 5-oz bottles) and let your significant other help out when things get too emotionally stressful on you. (and maybe he'll learn to be a little more supportive of your needs). Let me know how things go....good luck.
    I use these for feed my LO's EBM, and it hasn't interfered w/BFing at all. They do have to work pretty hard to get the milk, poor things, but it makes it an easier transition between bottle and breast.

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