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Thread: Want to encourage my friend to BF...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Want to encourage my friend to BF...

    My friend is having her 2nd DC tomorrow. She BF her 1st DC for 3 weeks ( I think). She's going to give BFing "a shot", but says if anything goes wrong, she's going to stop. She's basically looking for an excuse NOT to BF. I'm really disappointed in her. I can't help but be judgemental. How can I encourage her to BF without being overbearing, rude or unsupportive of her choices??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,813

    Default Re: Want to encourage my friend to BF...

    How about taking her to a LLL meeting or giving her The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding book as a gift, if you think is too long and she might use that as a excuse not to read it there's a very short called Why Should I Nurse My Baby? You can also refer her to this site or find LLL pamphlets with BF Info. Also offer her a lot of support and help on everything you can, that way she'll know you truly care about her and will be more willing to listen to you. But most of all, try not to be judgemental, advocate with good info at hand no criticism.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    284

    Default Re: Want to encourage my friend to BF...

    I think just being there for her if she runs into any difficulties while trying to breastfeed would be help enough. But if breastfeeding is not for her all you can do is be supportive in whatever choice she makes, otherwise you would probably risk losing her as a friend.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: Want to encourage my friend to BF...

    I advise compassion above all else. She may have had a horrible experience with breastfeeding her first baby, and if that is the case, then she is probably trying to avoid getting her (and other people's) hopes up, as a sort of protective mechanism.

    I think the best thing you can say to her is that while most breastfeeding problems have breastfeeding solutions and can be overcome with the right information and support, and while you will be happy to help her out with breastfeeding in any way you can, you know that she is a wonderful mother and will make the best choices for herself and her family.

    Sometimes we want to fix things for the people we care about -- and the danger there is that by rushing in with solutions and answers, we may inadvertently send the message that they can't be trusted with their own lives. I firmly believe that first empowering a woman to believe in herself is the most effective way to promote breastfeeding. Be a supportive friend and good listener first and foremost, and then allow her to ask for your help if she wants it.

    --Rebecca

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Want to encourage my friend to BF...

    Thank you all for your words of advice. I definitely don't want to lose her as a friend. My best friend chose not to BF, either. It's hard not to be disappointed, but ultimately, I understand it's their decision and my friends are very important to me. I will be the best support and friend that I can. I just really hope that the BFing goes well for her. Thanks for listening!

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