Not really sure what advice I need I guess I just need to know there are other mom's that have felt the same. My DS was born at 32 weeks and spent 23 days in the NICU and as many of you know it's the hardest thing many of us have ever dealt with. Seeing him lying there and feeling so helpless really shook me to the core and the entire experience completely changed the person that I am today. I thank God everyday for my healthy beautiful 13 mo. old DS now. But there are times that I still get emotional about that time. I have a friend right now that just had a baby and he's in the hospital with heart problems. He's hooked up to the machines and looks a lot like my DS did. My problem is I really want to be there for her and go see her and her baby but I don't know if I can. I look at the website she has set up and the pics of her LO and I fall apart. I can't look at it again through my tears. I feel so selfish for even feeling this way.
I try to rationalize it by saying that my DS is fine now and wasn't as bad off as her DS is now. My DS didn't have any heart problems like her's does. I feel like I should be strong and just be there for her . But whenever I hear her voice, look at her email, or even think about her situation for too long I break down, cry, and get that nauseous empty achy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had last year at this time. I'm not really sure how to deal with this. I've talked to her on the phone a lot but I'm planning to go out there this weekend. I don't want to break down in front of her. What she's going through is so difficult and I want to be there and support her. Just not sure how to handle it. I would love to hear from anyone that's been here. Thanks