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Thread: We had a weaning party!

  1. #11
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    Quote Originally Posted by LePOO View Post
    wow...what a positive experience. How did you instill that notion in her? I am trying to lead my leading one to weaning (25 months) and he looks at me like I am crazy! I know that nursing longer is ok, and we are partially weaned (2-4 times per day, ok that is not MY idea of partial but in his little brain it is! ) I have been bringing up the idea that big boys don't need to nurse so often...he just says "NO". Also, how did you feel once it was over? I would be interested in your feedback. Thanks & Congratulations on a Job well done!
    You're on your way. Be careful with "big boy" comments.. not that they are wrong, but my dh was pushing dd to be a big girl and she responded by acting more babyish and clingy.. she didn't want to grow up. So we backed off that. Putting it on dd before she was ready was probably my biggest mistake. Encouraging her to wean and acting like that's what she SHOULD do, but then letting her nurse regularly was basically setting her up for failure because she still loved nursing and still had a need to suck. Once I finally understood what I was doing, I changed and simply stopped allowing her to nurse much. But at the same time, let her know that it was perfectly fine that she wanted to and that when she did it was OK. I continued with bribery, but it was more like, "no you can't nurse but you can have..." Finally I only let her nurse on Sundays. By that time she really DIDN'T need it anymore (there was no difference in her behavior when she did and didn't nurse), but just needed to know that she COULD. I got her to skip a Sunday here and there and then FINALLY I dried up. And shortly after that she made her announcement.

    But each kid is so different when it comes to these things. But I know that they do ALL wean.

    How did I feel? Great. Because she's THREE and a HALF years old and her need is gone. I am glad she pushed for it as hard as she did. If she hadn't I would have weaned her sooner and felt ambiguous about it. But this has been enough. We are BOTH ready now and it's just wonderful. I am into teaching her to write her name now.

    We had our struggles, but yes I am SOO happy that the ending has been happy. And she still nurses her dolls. And her teddy bear nurses her froggy. And we cuddle without her even asking to nurse. Thanks for listening, mamas, and being happy with me.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    Quote Originally Posted by awnja View Post
    Be careful with "big boy" comments.. not that they are wrong, but my dh was pushing dd to be a big girl and she responded by acting more babyish and clingy.. she didn't want to grow up. So we backed off that. Putting it on dd before she was ready was probably my biggest mistake. Encouraging her to wean and acting like that's what she SHOULD do, but then letting her nurse regularly was basically setting her up for failure because she still loved nursing and still had a need to suck. Once I finally understood what I was doing, I changed and simply stopped allowing her to nurse much. But at the same time, let her know that it was perfectly fine that she wanted to and that when she did it was OK. I continued with bribery, but it was more like, "no you can't nurse but you can have..."
    I am so happy that you shared this. I think this is exactly the road I am headed down with my DD. She is the type that can't be argued with-my headstrong little girl (boy am I in for it when she hits the teen years). So I know that telling her she should wean because she needs to be a "big girl" would never work for us!
    You will never know how much your posts have helped me and so many others! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  3. #13
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    Sep 2006
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    awnja~ Thank you so very much for sharing. I hope that you won't completely disappear because I was wanting to follow up on some of your post in the near future as we navigate this road. Your advice is appreciated. It is funny as I was actually going to look your post up off another thread when I read about the every Sunday thing....wow, that sounded so nice, I hadn't even made the connection yet that this was the same screen name! I actually have some it down loaded with the articles the LLL moderator on the chat gave me. Interesting she gave some similar advice about the mix messages. I need to really lay out my plan of action to not be "wishy-washy". Thanks again, know that there are a few of us left out here that need "nursed" along too!

  4. #14
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    I am so addicted to this forum.. You haven't seen the last of me.

  5. #15
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    Talking Re: We had a weaning party!

    It does feel kinda like a soap opera...can't wait to see what's changing I have found myself here on/off whenever new challenges arise, so nice to have a dependable place to gather great information (while avoiding the MIL "...well when I raised my children..."

    Anyway, I am just thankful for all of it, and all of you! , besides that, I just think the smiles are too darn cute!

    Will be searching more this next week while I vacation in Florida (Darn, they stopped my Victory smiley with hands in the air...picture him here!)

  6. #16

    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    Awnja, I cried when i read your post. You have encouraged me more than you'll ever know. I know we have months, maybe more ahead of us in our nursing relationship, and I hope when the time comes Emily's transition is just as smooth!!
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  7. #17
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    Mar 2006
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    Red face Re: We had a weaning party!

    Awnja and All,

    Wow, this is a great story. I actually logged on to find suggestions on weaning. I can relate A LOT to LePOO. I would like to wean my 23 mo ds from nursing to sleep (naps and bedtime) and it has not been easy. I do not plan to wean throughout the day because I really enjoy it, but nursing is what he mostly needs to sleep. The reason I would like to wean is because I want him to be able to fall asleep on his own and not be so dependant on nursing to sleep. In addition, he will not stay asleep unless I am next to him. Not joking, he will not go to sleep without breastfeeding; I went out for the first time since he was born and got home at 1 a.m. and my little one was WIDE AWAKE . I need some time out, however, my ds son is so dependant of me to go to sleep. His father suggests to give him a bottle to sleep; however, its just adding to weaning more from him later on. Can someone please provide me with some suggestions?

    Thanks in advance!

  8. #18
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    My DD was younger when we weaned her from nursing to sleep at night (about 15 mos. and not for exactly the same reasons), but here's how we did it:
    (1) Breastfeeding remained a part of her bedtime routine, but was not the last thing before going to sleep. Specifically, she bfs after her pjs are on but before stories, song and prayers. I told her that we were not going to nurse to sleep anymore.
    (2) DH and I take turns helping DD off to sleep. For the first few nights she wanted to nurse to sleep (and occassionally I will sometimes nurse her to sleep if she is really overtired or sick or something) and I when I refused her she cried and was not happy with me, but I stayed close by her and offered to rock, get her a drink of water, etc. She started accepting other bedtime comfort measures and now we do fine. We still take turns but we do have to stay in the room with her until she falls asleep. We tried to stop doing that but it was not going well so it's been tabled for now.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  9. #19
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    My night weaning experience was kind of ugly. Mollyb's sounds much better. The idea of "no cry" when it comes to night weaning is still elusive to me. I did it when dd was two. I ended up giving her a sippy cup if she was thirsty, a bandana if she cried so much her snot was getting all over and her daddy if she REALLY was falling apart. Oh and a stuffed frog that was supposed to keep her company. But other than that she was on her own. I had tried to wean her and be there for her at the same time but we ended up crying and wrestling all night. No one got any sleep and she was still asking a week later. The other way, there was only two nights of crying and she seemed OK during the day. But she wet the bed a couple of times and it didn't get rid of the nightwaking. And there was so much crying even though she knew exactly what was going to happen before it did.

    While I didn't nightwean nicely, because she continued to wake, I did get to continue to work on night time independence in other ways. We role played, I stole an idea from a friend called the "big girl fairy" who leaves treats and presents for girls who stay in their own bed all night , I tried my own version of the bunny clock that had it's eyes open at morning time and eyes closed at night, etc. These were all OK, but I'm not recommending any of them because for us they all really translated to "mommy's begging." Kind of pathetic and ineffective.

    She's almost always gone to sleep in her own bed and I'd go to her when she'd wake, and usually take her to bed with me so that we could fall back to sleep together. This worked great when she was a baby. Long after she was able to get out of bed safely and come into my room I finally forced myself to STOP going to her. SHE could come to ME if it was so important. And she learned to stop waking and crying for me and just start coming into my room. Sometimes she still calls out and I'll say, I'm in bed. Then she comes in. I love the sound of her footsteps coming into our room. It's that "pitter patter of little feet." And even though she still comes to me, she's feels more independent because she's taking care of her own need for closeness. I think this led to her sleeping through the night more. She's welcome in my bed, but she needs to drag HER butt out of bed if she wants me. And now that she's older, a lot of times, it's just not worth the trouble and she goes back to sleep. This is my theory of what's going on right now.

    One thing I highly recommend is foot rubs. Like Molly said, move nursing to earlier in the bedtime routine... before toothbrushing makes sense to me... You can read a book or two, then turn out the lights, sit by his feet and rub his feet. If he's resistant, offer massage oil or lotion, some soft music... something to make it special but relaxing. The wonderful thing about foot rubs is that he's getting contact, you're there for him, it's not boring, he has to lay down to get it, and your chest is FAR from his mouth! Eventually my dd was drawn to the idea of "rubbing the energy out" I'd rub the energy out of her head, her back, her legs, her feet. She would visualize the energy going out and her body relaxing... like a meditation.

  10. #20
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: We had a weaning party!

    Quote Originally Posted by awnja View Post
    You're on your way. Be careful with "big boy" comments.. not that they are wrong, but my dh was pushing dd to be a big girl and she responded by acting more babyish and clingy.. she didn't want to grow up. So we backed off that.
    That is really true and in areas other than weaning as well. I kick myself everytime I accidently refer to their bed as a "big girl/boy bed." Way better to refer to it as a "kitty bed" or "lion bed" Little ones aren't so sure that being a big kid is a good idea. Also Mark defiantely considers himself the baby and I don't think has a need not to be. Same with talking about big kid undies. It can backfire as being a big kid is pretty scary.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

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