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Thread: Mom to be - scared to death

  1. #21
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,262

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by nikag View Post
    How do I communicate with the hospital staff that I don't want baby being bottle fed of offered a paci, period? Does LLL by chance have an "advocate for hire" or someone that I can have with me who will go to bat for me against this when I'm exhausted, possibly drugged, or otherwise incapable of doing it myself?
    Just remember, your baby is YOUR baby, not the hospital's baby! If you don't want something done to YOUR baby, make sure you communicate that ahead of time. A lot of hospitals love to tell you what their policies are- you may go on the hospital tour and hear something along the lines of "Oh, all our babies go to the nursery for a few hours after they're born. That's our policy." You can reply, "Not my baby! Unless there is a problem, s/he's staying with me from birth on. Do I have to sign papers to be exempted from that particular policy, or is verbal good enough?"

    If you are making a birth plan, take copies of it with you to the hospital and distribute it to the staff. Make sure it says "Baby stays with mom from birth on. Baby does not go to the nursery without one parent in attendance. Baby will not be offered artificial nipples- no pacifier, sugar water, or formula."

    As far as having an advocate in the birthing room, your midwife or obstetrician should be told about your preference, and should be prepared to say "Hold on- that baby is staying with his/her mom!" if a nurse starts to take him/her off to the nursery. If you don't feel like that is enough, you may want to consider hiring a doula. Check out http://www.dona.org/ to find one in your area.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    189

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Go to a class and bring your husband. We made a day of it and lots of couples were there, it was fun and important to get him on board. He saved me when it got rough, and he is still the diaper changer pre-feed, lets me get set up, burps, wraps them, it is definitely a "team" thing. He still drags his butt out of bed with me (although now we are down to once a night!)

    Go to a baby-friendly hospital, that does not give away formula, does not take babies from room, does not offer pacis or bottles. I had a c-section and babies never left my side from first cut to parking lot, nurses were amazing. They should have a nursery for special cases only, lacatation consultants, maybe a support group for breastfeeding moms.

    And, like it has been said, you may have an ideal experience! But, if you do encounter a challenge, you will have the tools to overcome. And sometimes when you have challenges like that, the joy you feel, the sense of accomplishment and fulfillment from getting through it, are just amazing. Head here when you need a pick me up. You will get tired sometimes and maybe frustrated, then you will feel so proud and happy to watch your baby happily nursing away with such contentment. Those are special moments in your life, your nursing couple experience.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    866

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Well, nothing worth having should be easy. Having a great nursing relationship does not come automatically. It is a learning experience for both Mom and baby. I will not lie and say it was easy. I also will not say I have any "horror stories" The first couple of months were rocky. But now looking back on it, it was so worth it, and I would and will do it all over again next year with my new LO.

    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  4. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    14

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    I have no horror story to tell. I had my first 6 wks ago and bf was a breeze. I brought lanolin to the hospital with me and stocked my house with it anywhere I thought I might nurse. Now I just have TONS of left over lanolin.

    I think what made it so easy was
    1. I knew as much as I could about proper latch on and positioning before she was born.
    2. She nursed right after delivery. She was put on my chest immediately after she was born and when she started rooting i helped her get to the breast.
    3. I had a midwife to help at the delivery with latch on and great lactation nurses.
    4. I had Medela nipple shields for inverted nipples. They help protect your nipple by keeping it dry between feedings and keep your clothes off the nipple. I wore these all the time until nursing was painless.

    Nursing was painless in about two weeks. Never any blood. I had a little 'blistering' and cracking, but nothing terrible. It would hurt when she first latched on but then it didn't hurt while she nursed. I put lanolin on after every feeding.

    You can do it! And it's wonderful!

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    11

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by Aidens Mommy View Post
    Well, nothing worth having should be easy. Having a great nursing relationship does not come automatically. It is a learning experience for both Mom and baby. I will not lie and say it was easy. I also will not say I have any "horror stories" The first couple of months were rocky. But now looking back on it, it was so worth it, and I would and will do it all over again next year with my new LO.

    I'm sorry, you confused me here...Is it still worth it if it doesn't happen to be a struggle? I hope so....

    Much as I am prepared to endure whatever I have to endure to be successful, it unfortunately doesn't erase my fears. I wish it did, but that's why I'm here! I am so impressed with the support and I am looking forward to the challenge!!

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    796

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    I love bf its worth any inconvenience. I ff my six year old and I feel like I have bonded quicker and feel better emotionally with my daughter who I bf. Its not so hard if you go with your gut and don't look at the clock.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,101

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by nikag View Post
    There is one specific concern aside from the pain and frustration part...I am worried about the hospital. I had a friend that when she had her first, the hospital staff took the baby to nursery after delivery and returned baby to mother a few hours later, bottle in mouth. How do I communicate with the hospital staff that I don't want baby being bottle fed of offered a paci, period? Does LLL by chance have an "advocate for hire" or someone that I can have with me who will go to bat for me against this when I'm exhausted, possibly drugged, or otherwise incapable of doing it myself? (Does that make sense? )
    It is YOUR baby. Some hospitals are a little slow on that point. It frustrates me to no end. I use the term "MY baby" frequently. If they must take YOUR baby somewhere have your spouse go with them or go yourself if you are able. If you cannot go and your spouse is unavailable (mine has to leave to care for our older children) ask them how long they'll be gone. And then call when that time is reached. I was shocked at how they would tell me 15 minutes and then wait over an hour to bring the baby to me. Also obviously have a sign in their bassinet that says "No artificial nipples".

    As a first time mom it's hard to stand up to the nurses and their systems; it was hard for me my 3rd time around. They will act like you are crazy, but if the child was 3 years old they would be much more hesitant to just wonder away with the child and give them food without your consent - even though they can't express it as clearly, a 1 day old baby needs your presence just as much as the 3 year old does.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    349

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Check with your hospital....mine was very proBFing....the baby never left my side after delivery. He was cleaned up in my room and then we were moved together to the mother-baby ward. Right when we got there my postpartem nurse was there to show me how to BF. We're talking full hands-on instruction. She was helping me get the baby to latch and everything. Also let the nurses know right off that you don't want the baby to have a bottle or paci. This is YOUR baby and they half to adhere to your wishes. With my DS I had some problems getting him to latch at first so it could be pretty painful when he first attached but once he was sucking for a minute the pain eased up....I used Lansinoh nipple cream. Awesome stuff!!!!!!! You're definitely in the right place for advice and to ask questions. HTH
    Last edited by oncall24-7; September 23rd, 2007 at 04:14 PM.
    I'm Christina
    Wife to Drew 11/16/02 Mother to Benjamin Patrick 2/24/06 and Elizabeth Victoria 5/4/07
    http://tac.families.com/ezb/967846.png

  9. #29
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    987

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Your LO is so lucky to have a mama like you! So smart and already finding answers to her questions!

    DD was awesome at BFing! She latched on right away, despite being almost 4 weeks early. Nursing was easy for us. We had other problems later - jaundice, thrush, dairy allergy, and oversupply - but the beginning was great! We were also at a very pro-BFing hospotal with an LC on the maternity floor 24-7. That was important. I also had support from my mom (who used formula but always wanted to BF) and my doula.

    AND THE AMAZING MAMA'S ON THIS FORUM! Seriously, whether or not you are BFing, being a mama is hard work! Thanks to these ladies I have been able to find answers to all of my questions. And friends and something to laugh about at the end of some very exhausting days.

    I was a little aprehensive about nursing before I actually did it. It is hard to imagine, a baby sucking on your boob 12+ times a day. It is really miraculous and wonderful. Impossible to imagine before you experience it. The more you learn the more confident you will be about it. I just kept thinking EVERYONE can breastfeed! For millions of women for thousands of years that was the ONLY option and they all did great. Your body is literally designed to give birth and to breast feed. If you don't trust yourself or your doctors, at least trust evolution (or if you choose trust God).

    I loved my Bradley classes to help me learn how my body would work in labor and nursing. My doula was there as an advocate for me, so that I had the birth I wanted in the hospital. You can find certified doulas at www.dona.org The hospital was great but it was reassuring to have her there because I knew I didn't have to worry about making my preferences known. I also recommend a birth plan that tells your practitioner and the hospital staff what you are hoping for. Lots of pregnancy books have info on birth plans. I recommend the Dr. Sears Birth Book and the Breastfeeding book too!

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Most of the "horror stories" are not normal. This is a post that I made 2 days after my sons first birthday on a different forum. Maybe it will help you.

    1 year We made it to this goal. I'm letting him self-wean but next little mini-goal is 18 months.

    Maybe this will help some of those who are new to this. I posted something similar to this 6 months ago.

    When I was pregnant, I said I'd breastfeed for 6 months. Then the fear of teeth popped into my head and I changed my mind. From then on, I would only breastfeed until he got teeth. Then I learned that if they're properly latched, they can't bite you so my goal went back to 6 months.

    When I had my son, he couldn't latch bc my nipples were flat. They were flat due to the liquids they pump into you after a c-section. I was told this is normal but the LC tried and tried to help me latch him and it was no good. She left and came back with a shield. At that moment, that shield was a life saver. 4 weeks later however, it was hell. After my IV was taken out at the hospital, my nipples started returning to normal. I kept trying to latch him without the shield first and sometimes he'd latch. This told me that the problem was gone and I started trying to wean him of the shield. It took a long 4 weeks that seemed like an eternity.

    I kept doing research on BFing and decided that I would BF until he was 1. Then I learned about all the benefits of extended breastfeeding so I decided we're going to do child-led weaning.

    He started teething at 4 months. He was CHOMPING on me with his sore and tender little gums. IT HURT but only for a minute. Hylands teething tablets saved me many sore nipples and eased his pain almost instantly. *Note, Hylands teething tablets contain a lactose base. Also, I used them the one day because I had a bad tooth ache and it took the pain away immediately* When those teeth broke through, I have suffered from many "battle wounds". He has broken the skin more than once. Lansinoh is a life saver.

    6 months came and went and now 1 year has come and gone. His first birthday was the 28th. There is no end in sight. At this moment, I consider myself lucky. While I may possibly have thrush right now, I have never had mastitis, I have only experienced a clogged duct once, my nipples didn't bleed at the beginning. I am not bragging. The reason I'm pointing all of this out is many of the problems that the newcomers are reading about are not considered to be "normal". People rarely post about how easy they had it and I think that if there were more positive posts the newbies would be more encouraged and less frightened.

    To all of you who are just starting out, you can do this! Even if you should encounter a problem, you can work through it. We are strong women.
    I hope that helps at least a little bit. I had problems at first but NOTHING like some of these horror stories you hear.

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