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Thread: Mom to be - scared to death

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Default Mom to be - scared to death

    Hi,

    I'm 4 months pregnant with my first and I really, really, really want to BF. I am reading as much as I can about it and trying to prepare myself as much as possible. I am even planning to attend my local LLL monthly meetings (and drag DH along if he's willing).

    The only thing is…I am scared to death . I have read/heard so many horror stories about how hard it is, cracked and bloody nipples, frustrated and depressed mommies . Frankly, I'm freaked out.

    Are there any happy or relatively happy first time BF stories out there? Or am I pretty much relegated to weeks/months of suffering before baby and I can enjoy the experience?

    Needing some reassurance...

    TIA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,866

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death



    Breastfeeding isn't always that way. The horror stories you're hearing are just that...horror stories!!

    The best thing you can do is exactly what you're doing now. Read, read, read AND find a support network. Information (ACCURATE information) and support is what will help you reach your breastfeeding goals.

    Perhaps you can tell us what concerns you the most, and we will try to answer your questions.

    Here's some info about preparing for breastfeeding:
    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/pre...eparation.html

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    IMO hearing the Horror stories is the BEST thing that can happen to you. Then you are prepared for anything and may be pleasantly surprised. I have never had any issues w/my breastfeeding relationship. But again, I think it's all in perspective. My friends all said it was harder than birth. So that's what I prepared for. It wasn't like that. I was strapped to the couch for more than 6weeks. I spent many many many days the 1st year of his life in my night gown just feeding and changing him. I did have some extreme latch pain on the side he he didn't favor for almost 4months and some other issues I won't scare you with. But I was prepared and really nothing I experienced was nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think the worst thing that happens is women don't get educated about it before hand, thinks it's going to be really easy, don't understand what supply and demand really means, and make mistakes with supplementation. If you have an opportunity to go to a class where they talk about Breastfeeding and show you movies about the baby latching, go. Have your friends and family set up a schedule for visiting the 1st two weeks that involves only one visitor/family a day and make sure that person shows up with a casserole so you don't have to cook. When people ask what they can do to help, tell them to do your dishes or throw a load of laundry in for you. The fact that you are here now is a very good indication that you will probably succeed! We are here to help when you need us!

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    The fact that you are here now is a very good indication that you will probably succeed! We are here to help when you need us!


    There is a little fact I usually keep to myself.... especially aroudn here, but since you asked for it... Yup. There are people that never have a single breastfeeding related problem. Emily latched right on and we were off. I was tender for a few days but after that we had it down. It happens. It's rare, but you just might get lucky!! And if you don't get lucky enough to never have an issue... take a look around here. Nothing is going to happen to you that has not happened to someone else. Take comfort in al of these women that have persevered. You can do it. Heck, parenting isn't easy. Life isn't easy. No reason to think breastfeeding will be a cinch, right? But there is a tremendous amoutn of help here for you when you need it!
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Well, I am one of those mothers with horror stories, but I still consider my first breastfeeding experience to be a success. It was wonderful, even through the struggle, and my dd is living proof that you can breastfeed a very high needs, very fussy baby, who will turn out to be the most independent little thing there ever was .

    Supplementing is the biggest "mistake" you can make, so just make a promise to yourself that you won't do it. Using bottles and feeding breastmilk isn't even a good idea in the beginning, so make that promise too. That's probably where we encountered the biggest majority of our problems. Doctor's and nurses will tell you that nipple confusion isn't real, but it is.

    Remember that breastfeeding is normal and its natural and its better. Period. There are thousands of years of success with breastfeeding! You can do it!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
    Mama to my little deer (12/05) my loving bear cub (9/07--), and our little tiger (3/22/10)
    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


    Miles in 2012: 350.5/900 (Actual Miles Ran: 189)
    Miles in 2011: 708.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 509)
    Miles in 2010: 800.5 (Actual Miles Ran: 620)

    January Miles: 37.5/75
    February Miles: 59/75
    March Miles: 42.5/60
    April Miles: 64
    May Miles: 41/70
    June Miles: 59
    July Miles: 39.5

    227.5 miles on my new shoes
    338 miles on my old shoes

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Thank you sincerely for the reassurance and for your words of encouragement. It sure is nice to know that there is a network of helpful and intelligent women out there who have been through it and want to see you succeed.

    There is one specific concern aside from the pain and frustration part...I am worried about the hospital. I had a friend that when she had her first, the hospital staff took the baby to nursery after delivery and returned baby to mother a few hours later, bottle in mouth. How do I communicate with the hospital staff that I don't want baby being bottle fed of offered a paci, period? Does LLL by chance have an "advocate for hire" or someone that I can have with me who will go to bat for me against this when I'm exhausted, possibly drugged, or otherwise incapable of doing it myself? (Does that make sense? )

  7. #7
    Clare's Mum is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Aug 2007
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    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Hello,
    I have to admit I don't have any terrible stories. My LO is 12 weeks old and she is a great little nurser. When I was expecting her I knew that BFing was best and I was going to give it my best shot but couldn't picture myself doing it. After the delivery the nurse asked my if I wanted to try nursing her and I said yes. The first few days my nipples were tender and I did have a little crack and peeling skin but once she got the hang of it, it was great. I expressed breast milk and let it dry on my nipples and it really helped.Besides those few days we have had no problems. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience. Get some support and keeping posting any quesyions here. These ladies have helped me so much.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by Clare's Mum View Post
    Hello,
    I have to admit I don't have any terrible stories. My LO is 12 weeks old and she is a great little nurser. When I was expecting her I knew that BFing was best and I was going to give it my best shot but couldn't picture myself doing it. After the delivery the nurse asked my if I wanted to try nursing her and I said yes. The first few days my nipples were tender and I did have a little crack and peeling skin but once she got the hang of it, it was great. I expressed breast milk and let it dry on my nipples and it really helped.Besides those few days we have had no problems. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience. Get some support and keeping posting any quesyions here. These ladies have helped me so much.
    Thank you for sharing your story . I hope to be so lucky!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SoFL
    Posts
    6,237

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by nikag View Post
    Thank you sincerely for the reassurance and for your words of encouragement. It sure is nice to know that there is a network of helpful and intelligent women out there who have been through it and want to see you succeed.

    There is one specific concern aside from the pain and frustration part...I am worried about the hospital. I had a friend that when she had her first, the hospital staff took the baby to nursery after delivery and returned baby to mother a few hours later, bottle in mouth. How do I communicate with the hospital staff that I don't want baby being bottle fed of offered a paci, period? Does LLL by chance have an "advocate for hire" or someone that I can have with me who will go to bat for me against this when I'm exhausted, possibly drugged, or otherwise incapable of doing it myself? (Does that make sense? )

    first, you can ask that the baby not leave the room w/o you or your spouse. second, you can hire a doula to be with you during and after the birth, they are great at helping your birth and bfing plan go smoothly. and, just tell evryone you see not to give bottles or pacifiers. hth. good luck!
    Lisa
    Married to my Sugar Daddy
    Mom to Matt (5/14/97)
    James (11/8/06)
    Kelly Anne (3/14/08)
    Paul (3/11/10)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    In Peace
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    2,923

    Default Re: Mom to be - scared to death

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly Ann View Post

    There is a little fact I usually keep to myself.... especially aroudn here, but since you asked for it... Yup. There are people that never have a single breastfeeding related problem. Emily latched right on and we were off. I was tender for a few days but after that we had it down. It happens. It's rare, but you just might get lucky!! And if you don't get lucky enough to never have an issue... take a look around here. Nothing is going to happen to you that has not happened to someone else. Take comfort in al of these women that have persevered. You can do it. Heck, parenting isn't easy. Life isn't easy. No reason to think breastfeeding will be a cinch, right? But there is a tremendous amoutn of help here for you when you need it!


    ds noah and i had the same good fortune. aside from his sleepiness from my 20 hrs with an epidural, we got the hang of bfding so easily. although in the hospital, it was a little difficult, when we got home, it was like he had been doing it all along. it was so easy. every baby is different though. i got lucky this time, and i hope it will happen that way next time too.

    GOOD JOB FOR CHOOSING TO BF!!!!

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