Independent sleeper

[@llli*jaki.myny]

Another qs...my little man nearly always has to be held to fall asleep-I think I spoiled him a little but you know he's just so cute. The problem is that now I, even though I'm basically home all day I can hardly get anything done...how can I get him to snooze without being held being a must.

The same goes for alert time, he's fine for about 10-15 minutes by himself on the swing or on the bed, but after a while he'll start crying because he wants to be held. And no, it isn't crying for something else b/c believe me we go through this everyday now. No gas, colic, dirty diaper, sleepiness, hunger nada he's just used to being carried now.
Is 'weaning' him off my arms possible b/c if not its going to be very hard for anyone to babysit or for him in daycare...

[@llli*ketteringmom]

Have you tried sitting next to your lo and smiling, etc when he gets fussy in the swing? This may help to reassure him that you're still there and he's still fine.

When they are that little you can't really spoil them with attention and holding, and he will eventually want to be on his own to explore the world.

[Jack'sMum]

I find if DS is fussing, if I talk/sing to him, make silly faces at him or even maintain lots of eye contact, I can get quite a lot done. Ocassionally I have to stop and go in for a close up chat, or give him a little cuddle.

I used to put him on his changing mat in the kitchen while I was cooking, but now he can roll, it's too dangerous.

But the best thing is to get a sling or carrier.

Babies need to be held a lot. You cannot spoil a baby.

[chantel1977]

I agree with the previous poster- a sling is a good idea. I have had some of mine who were better at being more independent than others. If you put him in the sling you can eat, clean, walk around, do whatever, for a while. Maybe try putting him down to sleep after feedings, and try some different methods of using background noise like a fan, radio, etc. Don't know how old yours is, but maybe try swaddling a few different ways, or wrap a blanket tightly around him after you lay him down.
Hope you find something to help- sometimes it just takes time.

[@llli*meggiepie]

I went through a similar phase with my DD. And I say "phase" b/c it seems like most things that I have experienced with her in these 4 months of her life is that EVERYTHING is just a phase. Just when you get use to something or really start to worry about something or just can't handle one more moment of something it changes or stops.

Anyway, for maybe 3 or 4 weeks my DD wouldn't let me put her down. She would only fall asleep on me. I was scared that I would never be able to do anything. Then, it gradually stopped. I have heard the similar scenario from some other moms too. HTH

[@llli*gretchen]

I went through a similar phase with my DD. And I say "phase" b/c it seems like most things that I have experienced with her in these 4 months of her life is that EVERYTHING is just a phase. Just when you get use to something or really start to worry about something or just can't handle one more moment of something it changes or stops.

Anyway, for maybe 3 or 4 weeks my DD wouldn't let me put her down. She would only fall asleep on me. I was scared that I would never be able to do anything. Then, it gradually stopped. I have heard the similar scenario from some other moms too. HTH

Wow. I totally needed to be reminded of this. Haley has yet to very independent. She has never tolerated being by herself for more than a few seconds when she's awake. She was at least ok with naps, but now she's starting to want to nap in my arms. Tonight she wouldn't even play on the floor next to me. She had to be held. And even then she fussed. She's been getting progressively worse this past week.

I don't mind most of the time, but she's been incredibly fussy and clingy lately, and I'm starting to burn out. I keep telling myself just what you said, that everything goes in phases and she's still very young and will eventually get more independent. After all, I can get a whole 15 minutes of peace when I put her in the exersaucer, and that's a great improvement over a few weeks ago. I know it will get better. But there are still some days ...

Anyway, thanks for what you said. It helped.

[gozal]

We're going through this phase too - the sling has been tremendously helpful! I got a pocket type of sling for ease of use, as a first-time mom. We both love it. Also, I don't think you've done anything to "spoil" your baby, it's just that babies by nature want to be held. Even though sometimes we just need 30 seconds to brush our teeth!

[@llli*jaki.myny]

Its probably my fault too -I'm a cuddle bug too ! Yes, I want to get a sling b/c I've heard that that really helps. My babys really small, he just made it to 7lbs 4oz-is there a sling that you recommend? Or does he have to be bigger?
Also, I'm wondering though, does the sling make them even more attached since your holding them all the time? Or does it make them more independent?

I've tried the talking, singing, rubbing his belly or back but the only thing that kind of works is when I play with his hands or feet and make him 'exercise' but the second I stop he's opening his little mouth to cry again...

[gozal]

I have a Hotsling, which a friend recommended - I know her baby was on the smaller side, so I do think you should be fine. I just checked the website, and I couldn't find anything about a weight minimum. You can always call your pediatrician to be sure - I am a little paranoid so I am always calling mine.

The Dr. Sears baby book claims that carrying babies in a sling makes them more independent sleepers at night, since they feel so secure during the day. I have no idea to what extent this is true, but my son does seem to sleep fine on his own once he is in a deep sleep. I expected to have to bring him into bed with me, but so far he hasn't needed to except for the last hour of the morning every once in a while.