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Thread: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Talking Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    I'm "extended breastfeeding" - can you believe it?!

    My topic today is my pediatrician. At DD's 12 month appointment, she told me to stop breastfeeding. Said that there is no nutritional value of the milk after this point, that DD will start having temper tantrums about it when I DO finally wean, and that it's just a habit now.

    First of all, I'd like to say that I don't think that 12 months is a bad age to wean, at all. It was my plan to wean then for quite a while. However... It irritates me that pediatricians make questionable statements like that, generalizing all children, and simply expecting us to blindly believe what they say. Why would they not take into consideration that "habit" and "need" will vary greatly between individual children? Why don't they back up their "professional opinion" in breastfeeding toddlers with medical information and valid medical reasoning?

    What really shocked me is that my pediatrician is a woman from India who has told me that almost every baby is breastfed in India. I highly doubt (though I could not know for sure) that 12 months is the age that they usually wean in India. Therefore I was shocked to hear her opinion on the matter, as if 12 months is a grand line that splits a child's needs immediately... I would expect it from an American doctor, sadly, but hearing it from my doctor (whom I liked so very much until this point), I was really taken aback. Like I said, I don't disagree with weaning at 12 months, but I think it's BS to say that it's magically only a habit for all children after 12 months. That's obviously impossible!

    It almost seems like pediatricians are in on a little deal with formula companies or something... But then, that wouldn't make sense since she can drink real cow milk now... I just don't get why it's "so important" to stop breastfeeding at this age. I can kind of see why American culture is unfortunately squeamish about it but I didn't expect the same attitude from someone who's native culture embraces breastfeeding as normal and common.

    What say you?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    My son isn't quite 6 months old yet, so I haven't gotten much flak yet, but I too am surprised about the "line in the sand" at 12 months. And frankly that someone who should know better apparently doesn't. Your story makes me wonder what my pediatrician, whom I really like at this point, will say as he gets older and is still nursing. I think that kind of like you, my plan as it stands is to nurse until he's a year old , then see where we stand. But the way I see it that's a decision that he and his dad and I will make together, and while the pediatrician will (I'm sure) say what she's going to say, she doesn't get a vote. Which works for us, but what about the people who take the doctor's word as law? Which I guess brings it back to what you said to start with--what's so magical about 12 months (or any other arbitrary age)? And where do they get the thing about there being no nutritional value after that? Crazy. Just crazy.

    And congratulations on making it a year!!!

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    Ha! You keep talking more and more like "us." Welcome to the club.

    That was a weird statement. You know from first hand experience that tantrums for the breast started long ago. I know from first hand experience that those tantrums are directly related to an unmet need and once there is no nutritional need for the breast, no need to suck, and more ability to calm and entertain oneself, crying over not being able to nurse almost COMPLETELY disappears.. Of course, I wouldn't have believed this at 12 mos and I'm sure there are plenty of mothers who would be scared away from breastfeeding very long, because the figure they'll create a monster. Because for the last few months that baby has been asserting herself more and more, so of course the mom will be convinced that these tantrums are because she's nursed too long. I've read that 13 - 15 months is the hardest age to wean and I believe it. What a challenge: Wean now. This doctor's advice, in this area only it seems, is just bad. Even the AAP says that a child weaned before two has increased risk for infection.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!!!!!
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  4. #4

    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    Awnja,
    Intersting point, I'd never have believed it either. But I can totally reason with Em now about whther or not it is a good time to nurse. Hmmm... andyou're right I did think I was creating a monster.
    Mother to Emily June, b. Sept 18, 2005 and Lucy Quinn, b. 1/20/2012

    “Buy the ticket, take the ride."
    Hunter S. Thompson

    Excitement on the Side: Who doesn't love a confident woman with long boobs...

  5. #5
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    Sasha--

    Isn't it sad? I, like you, planned on weaning around a year anyway. But it wasn't because of some arbitrary age that this society feels weaning should occur. While we made it just past a year, I weaned for my own reasons.

    What this says to me is the obvious--first that this country is still creeped out by extended breastfeeding, almost after 6 months (forget the year). And, more importantly, it says that doctors DON'T know everything. Time and time again, I hear of doctors giving poor advice, when otherwise their advice seems sound. You're absolutely your daughter's best advocate. Thank goodness you care enough to do what's best for her.

  6. #6
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    Sep 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rusaalka View Post
    I'm "extended breastfeeding" - can you believe it?!

    My topic today is my pediatrician. At DD's 12 month appointment, she told me to stop breastfeeding.

    It almost seems like pediatricians are in on a little deal with formula companies or something... But then, that wouldn't make sense since she can drink real cow milk now... I just don't get why it's "so important" to stop breastfeeding at this age. I can kind of see why American culture is unfortunately squeamish about it but I didn't expect the same attitude from someone who's native culture embraces breastfeeding as normal and common.

    What say you?
    My lo dr. told me to stop breastfeeding at his 1yr appt. last week because he lost a pound and cows milk would fatten him up. I was so shocked I repeated his statement. And he said,"Yes you need to wean now!" I nearly left the office in tears. Thank goodness I talked it over with some gals from our local la leche and they were able to help me come up with a plan. There is no way I am weaning him because he said so! Next time I am going to see the other dr. and if I don't like her I am finding a new dr. Do what is right for your lo. These stinking dr.s are really a piece of work!

  7. #7
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    It's great to see you here!

    Like, duh, didn't you know that breastmilk turns to water at exactly 12 months?

    Obviously you know this isn't true and that your doctor's advice is not accurate for that reason alone. Since the premise is false, it follows that her conclusion that bfing is a "habit" at this age is also false.

    It's hard when a doctor you previously trusted comes out of left field with some crappy advice that you KNOW is false. It makes you wonder what other crappy advice she has already given and what crappy advice is yet to come! I would find that unsettling as well.

    In my case, our pedi has given some advice that I question, but overall I trust him to a point. For example, he advised giving poly-visol to my breastfed DD (which you probably know I don't agree with) and he and his nurse also advised my DH that allowing DD to night nurse past age one was bad and that she needed to "self-soothe" (which I also disagree with). However, overall they are very supportive of BF. At DD's 18 month appt. our pedi was impressed and happy that DD was nursing. So, I have decided that I trust him enough to continue to have my children see him.

    I say, this would be a red flag to me, but you have to decide for yourself if this is a "deal breaker" with your pedi.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    I think if you got to this point with her, and have trusted her up until now, you've got a good relationship with her and should be able to keep going with her - weaning or not. Plus at this point you'll be seeing less and less of her.

    But I agree it is sad that so may pedis are so uninformed. My pedi didn't even know what LLL was!
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    Yeah--complete BS. How can the milk from a cow be better? I just don't get it. What moronic information. Arghhh.

    Erin
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  10. #10
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Wow... Never thought I'd post here!

    My ped has raised her eyebrows a couple of times when I say I'm still nursing (as in, "so, you're one of them") but never overtly questioned it. At 18 months she did think I was nursing too much (morning, nap, and night), saying it would decrease his appetite for solids, but didn't press her point after I kind of shrugged it off. Now we're down to morning and nights only and he's a hearty solid eater and very healthy (except for a slight daycare cold right now). I think she knows the AAP guidelines, but she herself didn't breastfeed her kids and is just not used to seeing many extended breastfeeders, so she sees us a little weird. At our first post-natal visit, she told me I was a "purist" when I reacted stonily to her suggestion that it was okay to give him a bottle of formula occasionally so I could get four hours of sleep.

    Basically I think she's pretty good medically, and she hasn't picked a fight, so I've stuck with her until now.

    Glad you made it over here and that now you're just taking it as it goes!
    Annie
    Mama to Jeremy Daniel (12/10/2005)


    I'm a late cloth convert...and you? :tumbsup

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