33.2 weeks and need to vent

[poulinsj]

I just had my little boy yesterday at 33 weeks. I am a bag of emotions and feel that i missed out on the birth experience. I had to have a C-section under general anesthesia and today was the first i was able to see him.

I have nursed both of my girls. Alexis until 11 months and Kaila until 20 months. Pumping is all new to me and i don't even know where to start. My milk came in within 24 hours with both of my girls and i barely get any colostrum now. Am i doing something wrong?

I am using a hospital grade pump and am pumping every 3 hours for 20ish minutes. I am also on pain pills (oxycodone and motrin). I am mentally exhausted. I cry everytime i see him.

I was able to hold him tonight but he is overstimulated and fusses when he is touched. DH feels i do not need to stay at the hospital with him because he feels our girls need me at home. The hospital is over an hour away.

I am so confused and upset. I don't know where to turn and i thank you for listening to me vent.

Any advice on how i get through this experience?

[MomOf1MuffinPie]

First of all, congratulations on your new baby and welcome to the boards!!

I really wish I had some advice for you, but, having never been there, all I can offer is a hug .

The ladies on these boards will be a great help to you, though, I'm sure.

Best of luck, mama!

[Karen J]

Welcome and My son is a preemie born by a c-section too. I've been right where you are with all the emotions regarding the birth and not being able to see him right away. I cried a lot too, it was the walking away bit that got me worst of all. He's your newborn baby, being apart from him is the most unnatural thing in the world. I don't have any other children, but you must be feeling really torn between him and your girls which makes it even harder on you.

I pumped for my little fellow and it took around three days for my milk to come in, I was told that it was pretty usual for mother's with a baby NICU. Also try to get as much rest as possible, maybe even skip one pumping session for a few days so you can get some rest and recover a bit. I read somwhere that no more than 6 hours between pumping if you're trying to build production up. Still, six hours sleep can make a world of differance to how a person feels, and for a few days it might help. C-sections are major surgery and they take a lot out of you, not sure how much it affects milk production but the body is a pretty sensitive thing and I wouldn't be surprised if that upsets the balance a fair bit.

As for him getting overstimulated and fussy when held, have they let you try kangaroo care? It's the most wonderful thing, and I think it helped me just as much as it did Robert. You basically hold him against your bare chest so there is skin to skin contact for you both. The nurses at the hospital should know about it, if they don't mention it ask them. Also when touching him do it the way you would if your skin was feeling really sensitive. Just reach over and lay your hand on him and try not to stroke or be too light with your hands. Light touches are overwhelming to babies born early. Try talking to him before you go to touch him, so he knows it's you.

Other things that might help a bit... Pumping by his bedside helped me somewhat, maybe it will work for you too. And talk to him when you see him. He knows your voice and your scent and he loves them both. Also, take pictures of him, I was surprised at how much it helped to see the differance in Robert from day to day.

Trying to think of a way that might help with your little girls. Once you're recovered enough to leave the maternity wing, it might be worth finding out if you can room in somewhere in the hospital if you want to stay near him for longer. I think most hospitals have something like that for parent's and your girls may be able to spend some time with you during the day at least. Hope all this helps a bit. Sending good thoughts your way, from one preemie Mum to another.

[LLL_Jolie]

We're glad you found us.

There is some new research that shows that combining hand expression with your pumping efforts can increase your milk production exponentially. Here's a video that shows how to combine hand expression and pumping, and shows the research/outcomes:
http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastf...roduction.html
Here's a video that shows you how to hand express and how to collect colostrum that can be fed to baby:
http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastf...xpression.html

Here's some various info on breastfeeding your baby:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBpremature.html
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...p-preemie.html
http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/index.htm

In the last resource I listed above, there is some information about kangaroo care. There is more and more research on the topic, and it is very helpful to both baby and mom for many reasons. When overstimulation is a concern, the key is to allow contact, but not touch. So baby would be on your bare chest and held close, but your hand would lie on top of him motionless instead of patting, rubbing, ect. Does that make sense? Ask your nurse to help!

What is your husband's main concern about your older children? Do you have family and friends that can help? Would you be able to split some of your time between home and the hospital?

I hope the above information is helpful. Please keep us updated!

[@llli*moose]

Its not uncommon for it to take a bit longer for milk to come in following a c-section. Its also not uncommon to feel very down after major surgery, especially when compounded by postpartum symptoms, and even more so when you were/are separated from you newborn baby.

You didn't mention how much your baby weighed. Your milk is perfect for your preemie--there is evidence that preemie milk is different than the milk from the mother of a fullterm infant.



I don't have any great advice about the situation with your other children, but in my opinion, your newborn is sick and your other children are not. They are confused, yes, and they miss their mommy, but they are not sick. Your newborn needs you...if you can work it out to stay close to him, that's what I would do (and it would be very hard for me to leave my toddler!!!). I think that illness trumps other needs.

[@llli*lucas.4-5-6]

Are your other girls in school? If not, can the whole family stay at a hotel near the hospital for a little while? Or 2-3 dys a wk if your new LO will be in the hospital awhile? I can understand your reluctance to leave. IMO, your new baby needs you the most right now.

Though I did not have a preemie and DS did not have to stay in the hospital I can relate to how you are feeling about the delivery. I had an unplanned C-section which was under general anesthesia. I have had a very hard time accepting that and have felt cheated and angry over how the birth of my son played out. I have come to terms, after talking to a few dr's, with the fact that my C-section was inevitable and necessary for the safety of both my son and I; BUT the fact that it was under general (bc the epidural and spinal failed) has been harder to accept. I missed my son's birth. His 1st meal was formula bc I was unconscious for several hours. I have NO memory of him his 1st 48 hrs of life . It gets easier with time and the important thing is your son is here and alive, right!?

[maya'smommy]

i just want to share some, i have been in your situation, for 4 months now, and i am still dealing with so much...my dd was an unplanned emergency c-section, and she was 15 weeks early, it took about 5 days for me to have anything come in...they say the milk production is a little premature, because the baby was, your body wasn't quite ready yet, so it does take a little time, but it should start to get better. i can't share info for having other children at home, because i don't, but i have been doing the hour drive thing since i was released from the hospital, so i know it's tiring, and my dh can't go every day do to his job, but i go almost every day...don't feel guilty if you can't go, and just try to make the most out of the days you are there, but the c-section is concidered a major surgery, and baby in the hospital and kids at home, you still need to rest, and give yourself some time to put yourself back together, because if you don't, you won't be well for any of your babies, and that isn't good either. i wish you all well.

[@llli*andrea.wolford]

I'm glad you found our forums!
There are lots of great moms here to support you!
take it one day at a time, talking does help.
Get a hold of your local LLL Leader shes there to listen.
watch thoose clips that LLL_Jolie posted they will help.

[TM]

I feel you mama . My LO was in the NICU for 3 days. They didn't let me breastfeed until day 2 and I pushed it an extra day just to stay with her at the hospital. My milk didn't come in until day 5. That baby needs you at the hospital, stay. If it's in your heart than explain that to your DH. I am sending you lots of positive energy. Just think in a week or less you can look back, you'll be at home with your sweet baby nursing all day and then the hospital experience will slowly slip away....It did for me. HTH

[poulinsj]

Thank you so much for all of the information. Brayden was 5lbs 8.8 oz when he was born at 33 wks. Quite chunky. They put him in an isolet last night and he is doing well.

My two girls are staying with my in-laws and are doing well considering the circumstances. It sure is difficult to juggle it all.