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Thread: Fighting over solids!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    38

    Default Fighting over solids!

    I'm so angry and hurt right now. DH and I have been fighting over solids for the past month. DS is six months old today and we'll be starting him on food next weekend.

    I wanted to do baby-led solids, but DH won that fight and now we're going to do baby food purees. Now, we're fighting over WHEN to feed him. I don't want baby food to replace a nursing, so I want to feed him between nursings/bottles or right after he nurses. DH says that I'm stupid because DS will never eat any food that way because he'll be too full to eat food. He says I'm supposed to feed him the food first, then nurse him to "wash it down".

    When do *I* get a say in how our son (MY son, too!) is raised? I just feel like my opinions don't even matter anymore. It's like I birthed him, gave him the boob when he was hungry, and now my job's done? Gah!

    Are there any sources that I can share with DH about how to go about feeding baby food? (Specifically anything that backs me up.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,631

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    You can tell your DH what my pediatrician, who is really smart and used to head a hospital neonatology department, told me: up to the age of 1 year, solid foods are for experimentation with new tastes, textures, and oral motor skills only. Breastmilk is a complete food that should constitute the majority of the baby's food supply up to age 1. Don't be surprised if breastmilk remains a very large component of your child's diet into the second year. Offer solids when you feel the baby is up for a new experience, and only offer them before nursing if you want to cut down on nursing.

    I wish she had that written down somewhere, so I could send you a link for it... Good luck on winning your battle!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,578

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    Solid foods should compliment breastmilk, not replace it, for the first year. Kellymom has some good info. Hope this helps!

    Loving my Beautiful High Needs Baby Girl born 12/28/06

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,090

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/t032000.asp
    Here's my contribution!

    We are doing BLS, and most of the time he plays with the food, or kindly gives it to the dog. He thinks he is eating though as he licks the food and makes a swallowing motion with his mouth, and then looks at me like, "Did I do that right?" It really is too cute. If your DH thinks that the baby will go for solids when he is hungry, try it once, and when it does not work and baby is frustrated he will know you were right...(resist the urge to say "told you so!")

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    343

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    awww that is so cute.

    mine has eaten solids like a horse from the time we started, even after nursing. i think it might depend in part on the baby!
    good luck
    Stefanie, momma to

    deacon james 09.22.06

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    maybe you can ask him to do all the solid feeds and cleaning up of baby and high chair.
    and once he sees how much work it is he'll quit pushing so much!

    is he cheap? maybe pointing out how much all thoose jars are going to cost would help.

    http://www.cspinet.org/reports/cheat1.html

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,197

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    PPs told enough about BM being the major source of nutrition for the baby in his first year so I am not going to repeat that. But I was really disturbed by the fact that he calls you "stupid", that is verbal abuse and you can tell him to stop that. As far as I understood he is not an expert on babies or nutrition either so where does he get all the bright ideas about BF and introduction of solids? Sorry if I sound a bit blunt but I cannot tolerate men who say things like "stupid" to their wives (and possibly children) since my father was one of them and thanks to him I was not breastfed.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    866

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    The following is from KellyMom......tons of good info on that site..and lots of it, HTH

    Should solids replace breastmilk?

    No. Solids during the first year are only meant to complement breastmilk, not take precedence over it or replace any breastfeedings. It is more of a way to add textures to the baby's diet, to allow the baby new experiences, and to help her develop hand/eye coordination through finger feeding. Your baby should still be allowed to nurse on demand, as your milk should be her primary source of nutrition until closer to the end of the first year. Continuing to allow on-demand feedings also better ensures your milk supply.


    How often and how much?


    Introduce your baby gradually to solid foods. Once she accepts them (it might take some time), continue breastfeeding as often as before and add solids as your baby's appetite increases. A few bites once a day is enough in the beginning, but gradually increase.


    And as far as before or after goes...I found different opinions stating that it does not really matter. I was always a believer in nurse first. It makes more sense to me and this is why...I would nurse when he woke, then we would both sit at the breakfast table, I would eat breakfast and see what he likes off my plate..same thing with lunch and dinner. It was WAY too much work otherwise..I would have felt like every moment was spent with either me eating or DS eating. Easy breezy
    Last edited by Aidens Mommy; September 3rd, 2007 at 02:09 PM.
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    866

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    The following is from KellyMom......tons of good info on that site..and lots of it, HTH

    Should solids replace breastmilk?

    No. Solids during the first year are only meant to complement breastmilk, not take precedence over it or replace any breastfeedings. It is more of a way to add textures to the baby's diet, to allow the baby new experiences, and to help her develop hand/eye coordination through finger feeding. Your baby should still be allowed to nurse on demand, as your milk should be her primary source of nutrition until closer to the end of the first year. Continuing to allow on-demand feedings also better ensures your milk supply.


    How often and how much?


    Introduce your baby gradually to solid foods. Once she accepts them (it might take some time), continue breastfeeding as often as before and add solids as your baby's appetite increases. A few bites once a day is enough in the beginning, but gradually increase.


    As far as before or after, I think it's personal preference. I always fed after, this is why...I would nurse DS upon waking..then we would go into the kitchen and I would make breakfast..letting him nibble on whatever I had..same thing with lunch and dinner..otherwise so much time is spent eating seperately...I prefer "family meals" 100%. Still do it the same way today. HTH, good luck!!
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    866

    Default Re: Fighting over solids!

    Sorry for the double post....my computer geeked out on me
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


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