Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?
It sounds like you are so tired, and your baby is only 3 weeks old, so no wonder! The first few weeks are the hardest. You are almost past the toughest point! When my third baby was born, my other two children were 5 and almost 2. The first weeks were a blur and no one got a lot of sleep, and the house was neglected (especially after my mom left). But we got through it, and every week was a little easier than the week before.
I think that it is common to think the grass is always greener on the other side, especially when taking care of older children, a newborn, and healing after birth, and in your case surgery. I hope that you can decide what you truly want. Statistically, children who are not breastfed suffer illnesses more frequently. There will always be exceptions to this, but they are only anectodal. The experience of your other children and your nephew does not change the evidence that breastfeeding is the most important health choice a mom can make for their baby. Breastfeeding is important, and there are long term consequences of not breastfeeding that are not evident in the first few years. I would encourage you to learn as much as possible about why breastfeeding is so important before you make your decision. We are all here to support you along the way.
Things get so much easier if you can just hang in there. Another thing to consider is that regardless of feeding method, you will still have to feed the baby. You will still have to care for your other children. Life will still be a madhouse, LOL! Breastfeeding is worth it, and the issues you have described sound more like you are struggling dealing with the demands of three children rather than the demands of breastfeeding. I hope you are able to find what works best for your family.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi