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Thread: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

  1. #1
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    Question Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Okay I have been on the seesaw for almost three days. I am about to switch to formula for many reasons. I only started bf to help with the budget but found out I am only helping by $110 a month give or take a few dollars.

    I am tired of being the sole feeder and I think my need to bf it to bond with her. With dd1 she was my first and I had all the time in the world to be with her while pg and after birth. With ds he is my son and I found 2 kids more work than one but not too tough. With dd2 I have no real bond to her. I never took the time to read to her while pg. I was under sooo much stress while pg and I really never enjoyed the pg. I feel guilty because I have no bond with her. When we sit to nurse I get sick, angry, sad, tired, want to cuddle, wish I could just have dh feed her.....I am tired of the emotions.

    Thanks for listening ^_~
    Last edited by mom23cuties; August 30th, 2007 at 08:24 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Hang in there Mama!!! I've read a few of your other posts and hear how you're struggling - so many to you!!!! I know it can be tough . . . EVERYONE has told me going from 2 kids to 3 is the hardest adjustment, and at first it really was. I had 3 under 3 for 3 months and that was rough - it really did get better though. Give yourself a few weeks

    It is totally normal to feel blah after having a baby for many reasons: horomones, adjustments, guilt about neglecting other kids, etc. If you feel though that your blahs are more than just a few yucky days, call your OB or midwife. My best friend has suffered severe PPD after all 3 of her kids and nothing short of heavy duty anti-depressants has helped her.

    In all reality, bottle feeding may just add to the stress of feeding time . . . washing the bottles, fully waking yourself up in the middle of the night to make a bottle, always making sure you have formula in your cabinet, etc. You can keep nursing!!! You can do it - just remind yourself these hellish few weeks will pass - they always do. We are here for you!!!! Maybe seeking out a local LLL meeting will help - seeing other moms nursing gives me a huge confidence boost

    Let your DH know what you're going through - all he may do is give you a hug, but at least you won't be keeping it all inside. Keep talking through this rough time - we're here listening!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Hang in there, I am sure that you are lacking for sleep which always makes things look worse, but as others can attest, it gets better. there is no better way to bond with your baby than to breastfeed, and it is good for you too. the act releases feel good hormones that help with the bonding process.

    Is there any way that you could have DH take your other 2 los and give you and dd2 some alone time, that way you could focus just on her? Even if it was only an hour, while he ran to the grocery or something. If you feel like you need a break every now and then can you have DH feed a bottle of expressed breast milk (unless you are having latch/suck issues - that would not be beneficial). Hang in there, remember that your dd2 does not know about your stresses, she just wants to be close with you and you can give her the best start there is - a breastfeeding relationship.

    We are all here for you

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    i don't mean to sound rude or anything, but you're saving "ONLY $110" a month? that seems like quite a bit of money to me.
    $1300+ a year!
    Stefanie, momma to

    deacon james 09.22.06

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Quote Originally Posted by mooose5 View Post
    i don't mean to sound rude or anything, but you're saving "ONLY $110" a month? that seems like quite a bit of money to me.
    $1300+ a year!
    I was going to say this too....but a little more. So your saving 1300 a year which to me sounds like quite a bit, plus all the time and energy you'll save by not having a sick baby because that sucks all around. Formula Fed children get sick more. And it sounds as if the bonding experience that you have lacked with this child....well the time it takes you to sit and feed her may be just the time you need to do that. I would keep at it. Beyond the guilt your feeling over not bonding with her due to your other responsibilities, how will you feel if you are putting her at risk to be sick more often? That would kill me. Breast feeding is the best possible thing you can do for your child.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    Formula Fed children get sick more. how will you feel if you are putting her at risk to be sick more often?
    Okay I just came here for a little support not the making my kid sick speech.

    I have two other kids how where ff and let me tell you they have never been sick outside a virus that no kid can avoid. Not even Superman can avoid all virus.

    I have two nephews who were bf for a year and they get sick at a drop of a hat, they have allergies(sp) out the nose...

    So, spare me the research I started bf dd2 to help save money not for health reasons for me or for her.

    I do appreciate your pov. Yes, $1300 a year for ff is alot, but to put some sanity into my life, a balance, to enjoy my dd2 and not wish I was place else doing something else,...see what I am saying?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    Quote Originally Posted by mom23cuties View Post
    Okay I just came here for a little support not the making my kid sick speech.

    I have two other kids how where ff and let me tell you they have never been sick outside a virus that no kid can avoid. Not even Superman can avoid all virus.

    I have two nephews who were bf for a year and they get sick at a drop of a hat, they have allergies(sp) out the nose...

    So, spare me the research I started bf dd2 to help save money not for health reasons for me or for her.

    I do appreciate your pov. Yes, $1300 a year for ff is alot, but to put some sanity into my life, a balance, to enjoy my dd2 and not wish I was place else doing something else,...see what I am saying?

    It sounds as if you are looking for someone to tell you it is okay to stop bfing, and you came to a place where we are all so commited to bfing because we know it is the best we as moms can give to our children. You said you have been thinking about switching for 3 days. If you are not happy bfing, then make the switch b/c after I reread your post it sounds like you have decided, but want others to say you are not doing something bad. It is a personal decision and you need to do what is right for you and your family. Best of luck.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    How about pumping? If it's the nursing sessions that bother you the most you could pump and just give her the bottles of bm? that way you will get the money savings and some sanity too...
    Married mama with 4 kiddos...2 girls (11 & 6) and 2 boys (21mo & 3mo)

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    I get what you're saying. I had a stint of exclusively formula feeding for a while and it was completely exhausting. I'm not a fan of sitting still and was bored and frustrated during bfing. Turns out I have PPD. I'm on meds now and it is a huge difference. I feel like myself again!

    Staying active helps me - that way I'm grateful for the chance to sit down and nurse.

    I started breastfeeding beause of the cost of formula. Our budget is tight and it would be really tough to pay for formula. Our income is $50 per month above the cut-off for WIC too. When things got really tough, I kept rminding myself about the cost of formula to give me determination to keep going.

    HTH.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Is bf just for expense enough to continue?

    How about pumping? If it's the nursing sessions that bother you the most you could pump and just give her the bottles of bm? that way you will get the money savings and some sanity too...
    When my son was little an bfing took FOREVER, I would pump and feed from a bottle. It took half as long. Now it takes far longer to pump than to bf.

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