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Thread: Please help, I am ready to cry

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    2

    Unhappy Please help, I am ready to cry

    Hello everyone. I know everyone probably has the same story but here is my case please help! I am a new mom living in a new area with no family or support around, and breastfeeding. as a nurse in labor and delivery and pediatrics I thought I was golden on the breastfeeding front but I was sooo wrong! It is so different when you are actually doing it yourself. So my son is 18days old and we just cant get this breastfeeding down and I am tired and ready to quit. DS just wont open his mouth! and when he does his tongue is up ( and he is not tongue tied the pediatrician already looked at that) He is sucking on the end of my nipple and they are bruise and creased but thankfully not cracked. I have larger breasts and I am already producing aprox 4oz per breast so I get rather engorged. I have tried to pump first but I have such a fast and overactive let down within 30 seconds the pump collected 1 oz and my nipple wasnt stimulated enough to erect it. UGH and I also find he doesn't have a strong latch so I have no clue what he is getting. I am sure he isn't working hard because he doesn't have to, but then he doesn't pull out my nipple. It is like a vicious cycle. I have so many more issue but I will deal with one at a time! does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to latch on better and more effectively!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    52

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    My son is a month old and I had a ton of problems (and still do) with breastfeeding him. I went to a La Leche meeting last week and it was incredibly helpful (they also have numbers you can call of local people in your area, hopefully, and they are super helpful as well). Although I don't have answers to your questions (as I am still learning the ropes myself), I give you words of encouragement. People on this board are great and as many people say, the beginning is the most difficult and to stick with it-it will get easier!

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Swartz Creek, MI
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    1,776

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    It's ok! Here are some things I did to get baby to open.
    1. aim nipple towards his nose instead of his mouth, and when he does open pop it in fast

    2. hand express a little milk so that it is not too engorged.

    here is a link that really helped me...
    http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/index.html
    Married mama with 4 kiddos...2 girls (11 & 6) and 2 boys (21mo & 3mo)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    953

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    My dd had problems latching sometimes when she as tiny (and my boobs were about wice the size of her head!). What worked for us was for me to tickle her lips/mouth/chin with the nipple until she opened wide. Then I'd pop it in as quick as I could (aiming the nipple towards the roof of her mouth if I had the chance). Sometimes it worked the first time, sometimes I'd have to unlatch her and try again. After the first couple of weeks, maybe the first month, she was big enough and coordinated enough that she didn't need my help. Until then, lanolin was my friend

    Sometimes we would also have problems with her only sucking the very tip of my nipple. I found that if I squeezed the areola down as small as I could while she was sucking in, she drew more of it into her mouth. I might have to do it a couple of times in one feeding, but, as with the mouth opening problem, it got better pretty quickly. Sometimes it's just too much to get all the parts working at the same time, and you have to go step by step.

    You may also want to try expressing a little milk and rubbing it on your nipples/areolas just before putting him to the breast. Then he will smell (and hopefully taste) that lovely mama milk and be encouraged to latch.

    Good job with your little one. I'm sure you will make it just fine.
    Rachel

    Mama to my precious girls, Abigail and Naomi


    "When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton in a letter to Julia Ward Howe, October 16, 1873. Recorded in Howe's diary at Harvard University Library.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,160

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    Your supply will calm down very soon, and your DS will get used to having an overactive letdown. It does get better you just have to set your mind to sticking with it.

    Are you pumping a lot? If so maybe it is making you produce way too much. What I used to do with overactive letdown is let your baby latch on, then when you feel the letdown coming have it spray into a towel or burp cloth. Then relatch.

    Some babies take a longer time to learn to latch on. The more practice you get the better you both will be. Have you tried different positions? Laying down and football/clutch hold are both really good for your situation. Cradle and cross cradle can be tricky!! Since you're a nurse, do you have access to a LC? She might be able to help more with the latch issues you're experiencing.

    Don't forget to use Lansinoh on your nipples, it helps a lot.

    Good luck and visit on here often, these forums are great!!!!
    Lisa

    Mommy to
    Logan 5-23-07
    Colby 12-14-09

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    1,165

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    First I just want to tell you it does get easier and good for you for hanging in there and making it this far. I had the same issues with my son not opening wide enough - the things that helped were to squish my breast as much as possible to fit it in his mouth and sometimes to have my husband help to pull my little guys chin down and open wider. Eventually, and I want to say it was probably by the time my little guy was a month old, he opened wide enough naturally. They really do get it eventually.... Hang in there for now however you have to!




    Paula
    Mom to Cody 2/3/92
    Mommy to Kaeden 10/06/06

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    thanks everyone for the advice I will try but another issue is he doesnt open his mouth when i rub my nipple on his mouth. he really only opens it when he wants to and when he is starving. we had a reallytough night last night. UGH I hope this does get easier

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    2,726

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    It WILL get easier! Hang in there! The first 6 weeks can be very trying, but I found that things really settled in at that point, even with BFing. My DD was SO sleepy, I always had trouble getting her latched on (and keeping her there!) and I had oversupply too. I hated when she was dozing off and I couldn't get her to keep her mouth open enough to get a deep latch or proper suction. Tickling her cheek or lips never seemed to work for me. For a long time I actually had to try to gently push down on her chin with my finger to get her mouth open enough, then try to jam in as much breast as possible. I know it's hard but it'll get easier! You both have to get the swing of things!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    953

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    Have you tried just cuddling up in bed with baby, skin to skin? Make daddy (or someone) wait on you as far as snacks and water. We spent many hours like this, and it really helped.
    Rachel

    Mama to my precious girls, Abigail and Naomi


    "When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton in a letter to Julia Ward Howe, October 16, 1873. Recorded in Howe's diary at Harvard University Library.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    2,770

    Default Re: Please help, I am ready to cry

    Quote Originally Posted by IansMom View Post
    he doesnt open his mouth when i rub my nipple on his mouth.
    Haley didn't respond to this either. I had to put some gentle pressure on her chin with my thumb. Then she would open wide for a very brief moment, and I'd have to smush her on the boob as fast as I could.

    Remember that your LO is just learning how to do this. Some babies are naturals at this, and others are not. The more you practice together, the better you will both get at it. You will learn the "tricks" that work for him, and he will learn what behavior gets him the best results--the most of mama's milk!

    I know it can be very discouraging, but hang in there. I promise it will get easier. You'll be pros in no time!
    I love my kids. I care for them accordingly. What more can I say?

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