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Thread: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    34

    Default I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    It makes me sad. I thought it would be a nice, quiet, peaceful bonding time for us but it really isnt. I KNOW its the best thing for her and good for me too but I am starting to wonder if I am meant to be doing this...

    It started so well and now it just seems to get worse. She has started fussing and yanking on me and spits up almost every feed. I still think I have a heavy let down (Its borderline painful when it happens and it happens at least twice a feed) I have read so much about what to do to fix that and my oversupply. I have worked with a consultant twice. I am always wondering if she gets enough or too much or if she has allergies to things I eat. Is her rash really baby acne or eczema because of something I ate? Does she have reflux or is this spitting up normal? These things run through my head all the time. She eats constantly. Every hour and half during the day and sometimes at night .. although last night was three hour increments so that was better. I am tired of my boobs dripping, of wearing nursing pads and not being able to wear my normal clothes. I am afraid to feed in public in fear that she will start screaming or throw up all over my boob mid feed. I am modest too. I have spent the past four weeks of my life totally obsessing about when she will want to eat next. I have barely even left the house.

    This really isnt what I thought it would be and I dont want to throw in the towel but sometimes I think it will make me a more sane person to switch to formula.

    I am aiming for six weeks and to reevaluate then in hopes that things improve.

    Is it normal for me to feel this way? Will it get better? Easier? Because so far its only getting worse.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    Florida
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    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    Hang in there! You are going through the hardest part. She will start eating less often, your boobs will regulate and won't be as drippy. Things WILL soon get easier. You are doing a great job.

    I didn't leave the house for the longest time...now I have no prob, and he's only 12 weeks. Your little one will get better at nursing to..both of you are learning.

    Keep up the good work
    Kat

    SAHM mom to Richard, born 6/6/07 at 8 pounds, now 27!

    Wife to Michael for 13 years

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Swartz Creek, MI
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    1,776

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    You concerns are normal

    As far as her getting enough, how is her diaper output?
    For the reflux, I don't believe stopping bf would help that...

    How old is the baby, my lo when through a fussy right b4 and after his growth spurt...
    Married mama with 4 kiddos...2 girls (11 & 6) and 2 boys (21mo & 3mo)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    1,285

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    Yes, it's hard in the beginning for all of us! But it WILL get better. Once it does, breastfeeding becomeslike second nature. Things really clicked for me and little one at the 6 week mark. It was smooth sailing after that! My boobs stopped leaking because the milk became regulated, LO started eating faster too so it gave me more free time to do other things rather than sit and breastfeed all day and night. It is good to set small goals. Istarted that way also (2 weeks, 1 month, 6 weeks, 3 months, etc). DS is now 9 months and it is so easy to BF now that I wouldn't have it any other way!

    Also, I highly recommend leaving the house! Even if it's just a 1/2 hour a day to go to the supermarket, take a walk around the block, anything! You'd be surprised how much babies love to be outdoors and the fresh air is good for them (and mommy). You can practice nursing in front of a mirror before you go out to make sure you are covered up. After you NIP once, it's a piece of cake afterwards!

    Honestly, things may not be easier for you by formula feeding...you will then have other worries like overfeeding, washing bottles, digestion problems, etc. So hang in there mommy!
    Loving mama to S - 11/06, and F - 1/09

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    128

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    Big hugs to you! I remember those days just like they were yesterday! Try to keep in mind that this will get better. Those early days are the hardest. The pp's have said pretty much what I would say, I just wanted to add support.

    I barely left the house for the first 6 weeks, too. After that my milk started to regulate, he started to set a little bit of a schedule (every 2 hours is normal!), and I could plan outings around that. We went to the mall, or Target, really anything to get out. You bought that stroller, don't be afraid to use it!

    Keep in mind that this really is the best thing for you and your baby. Everyone I've ever known who switched to formula had problems in adjusting. My neice, who's now 3, still has digestive problems because of it.

    Again, big hugs!

  6. #6
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    Jun 2007
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    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMeg View Post
    It makes me sad. I thought it would be a nice, quiet, peaceful bonding time for us but it really isnt. I KNOW its the best thing for her and good for me too but I am starting to wonder if I am meant to be doing this...

    I too thought it would be quiet, peaceful, all the wonderful things you read in Mommy magazines . . . but I'm not quiet and peaceful and I have yet to meet a baby who is!!! Sooooo, how could nursing be that way all the time? I'm so glad you're sticking with it - kudos and to you! Keep at is because honestly, it gets easier!!! If it didn't, I wouldn't be nursing a 3rd baby. But you're not alone . . . LLL has whole FORUMS dedicated to new baby/mommy nursing struggles!! See, you're totally normal!!! And to m, normalcy is always sought after when I have a new baby

    It started so well and now it just seems to get worse. She has started fussing and yanking on me and spits up almost every feed.

    Spitting up is totally 100% normal. If she is vomiting then I would call your baby's ped and see what he says. My LO spits up all the time - but he's happy and he's gaining weight and has plenty of diaper changes, so I'm not worried. Your ped should always be available to answer questions that you have as a new mom (or at least his nurses )

    I still think I have a heavy let down (Its borderline painful when it happens and it happens at least twice a feed) I have read so much about what to do to fix that and my oversupply. I have worked with a consultant twice. I am always wondering if she gets enough or too much or if she has allergies to things I eat. Is her rash really baby acne or eczema because of something I ate? Does she have reflux or is this spitting up normal? These things run through my head all the time.

    As for what you eat - there have been lots of studies that prove what Mama eats doesn't affect her baby . . . just like there have been studies that show what Mama does eat does affect her baby. If obsessing over what you're eating is causing problems, pick out common triggers and cut those out (these would be things like dairy, chocolate, onions, broccoli, cauliflower) Try this for a week or 2 and if there's no change, I would think it's safe to assume baby is not having allergen problems. HTH with that at least a little

    She eats constantly. Every hour and half during the day and sometimes at night .. although last night was three hour increments so that was better.

    Babies do eat constantly, no matter if they're bottle or breast fed. My DS1 also ate every 1 1/2 hours for a couple of months - soon it became just part of our routine . . . often as they get older they learn how to eat more at each feeding so they can space the nursings out better. Just know every ounce your baby gains is because of you Mama!! YAY!

    I am tired of my boobs dripping, of wearing nursing pads and not being able to wear my normal clothes. I am afraid to feed in public in fear that she will start screaming or throw up all over my boob mid feed. I am modest too. I have spent the past four weeks of my life totally obsessing about when she will want to eat next. I have barely even left the house.

    I too am modest and I have found that wearing camisoles under my t shirts help cover my tummy a lot. I just pull down the neck hem of it, along w/ my nursing bra and pad and then I'm covered up enough from the camisole and the shirt I wear on top that I only need to cover LOs head w/ a burp rag (if I need to). You can always find a semi-private place while in public if that makes you more comfy - I love the baby sections of stores - I sit in the corner and nurse there. It's only other moms and if they don't like seeing my boob they can shop another time . . . no really though, it is more comfy for me when it's just other women around.

    But for your sanity, you really do need to get out of the house - just take 30 min small trips w/ your LO - heck drag your DH along for the ride when he's home from work. I leave the house the day after I deliver my kids b/c I know if I sit at home it's easier to mope . . .


    This really isnt what I thought it would be and I dont want to throw in the towel but sometimes I think it will make me a more sane person to switch to formula.

    Formula won't fix the problems - hang in there!!! It can cause spit up problems to truly get worse. It REALLY REALLY does get better!!!!

    I am aiming for six weeks and to reevaluate then in hopes that things improve.

    Is it normal for me to feel this way? Will it get better? Easier? Because so far its only getting worse.
    Keep at it! You can do it - we're all here for you!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    139

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    Please don't give up! It will get better I promise! How old is your lo? Have you talked to your pediatrician about the possibility of it being reflux? My dd has reflux and she was doing those exact same things before we put her on medicine. Now she is a completely different baby and a champion eater on the boob! I was ready to throw in the towel as well during her rough period, but I am so glad I didn't. And now that I'm back to work I really look forward to coming home at night so that her and I can bond while she eats. Here's a hug for you and good luck!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    78

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    YOU CAN DO IT! I'm also in the first weeks of BF and so far it's been really hard, but I can say things are starting to get better, my baby is 5 1/2 weeks and I stopped wearing the nursing pads two days ago!
    Just remember, you are not the only one experiencing this and we are here to support you!
    I'm also trying to stay at home as much as possible, when my husband comes home from work I take a break and go for a walk, or we take the baby for a small stroll, I also miss going out but I also think how fun is gonna be to take Naima to the park when things get better!
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!
    hugs!
    Last edited by Karina D.; August 29th, 2007 at 03:00 PM.

  9. #9
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    Jul 2007
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    100

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    i just take it day by day sometimes hour by hour

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: I feel guilty but I just dont enjoy bfeeding.

    I totally feel that way too-I have a one month old and we've had issues from the beginning with breastfeeding. I too set goals, 2 weeks, now 2 months and I am going to re evaluate then. It's great that you are setting goals and not giving up so quickly. Stick with it and good luck! Don't feel badly about what you think about breastfeeding right now-it always seems easy before you have a baby (or know someone who had issues) but it can be a huge challenge!

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