Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Davenport, FL
    Posts
    763

    Default Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    Okay, I am going to lose my mind. Dh goes back to work next week. He will be working from home for the week but still I will be on my own.

    What in the world will I do? I have a 4yr and 2yr and now the new baby how is 2.5wks old. I can not walk and feed her (feel awaked) and a sling is not an option right now. Today she woke at 730am and feed every hour for 15min until 11am I had to give her a bottle. she drank 1oz for dh and then finally passed out. I can not be doing this and take care of the other two.

    I am beginning to regret my choices.

    Last night she got so scared and so mad at me because I just had this stream of milk come from my breast and just all over her face. After the feeding we both needed to be changed. We were covered in my milk...gross.

    Please if you are mom of two or more how do you do it? Both my mom and mil say if she was my first great. But she is not she is my third and I am overwhelmed.

    TIA,
    becky

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,721

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    I also have 3 - 8 year old, 6 year old, and 5.5 week old. It's definatly not easy. My older 2 are thankfully older though so they can do quite a bit for themselves when Jasmine is giving me a hard time.

    Are you regretting the choice to have a 3rd? Or what choices are you regretting?

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Not around here as much :(
    Posts
    12,132

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    I take each day at a time. Somtimes you have to take one moment at a time. Rearranging daily activities to accomodate for everyones needs is a must - but that takes time too. Just tackle one thing at a time. Don't try to do everything and start getting that 4 yo a little more "independent". Try setting up a place for snacks and stuff and if s/he's hungry, s/he'll know where to go to get something yummy, and not have ask mama for it. kwim? thats a good start.

    FWIW - I slept many nights drenched in milk (OALD is rough at first ) ... it's just something that happens though...
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,770

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    Hey Mama!! Good for you for asking for help!! We are all here for you I have 3 young children and I understand how tough it can get!!! My oldest turned 3 last week, I have a 20 month old and then my 2 1/2 month old LO. Some days are truly rougher than others . . .

    I've found setting up a safe play area for my 2 older ones REALLY helps. I put some dry cereal in little used applesauce cups, make sure they have lots of water in their sippy cups, and then let them loose in their play area while I'm nursing my LO or changing diapers or doing other chores in the house that take a little longer. When I get those things done (I only insist they play in the play area for short periods of time, when I REALLY need to focus on task at hand, etc) we read together or something of the like. I take all 3 of my kids on walks everyday to get out of the house. It's also a surefire way to get my LO to take a nap . . . then when we get back to the house, the LO can sleep in the stroller while the older 2 and I play outside. Just calmly asking your older two for "space" (that's what we call it in my house when I need breathing room) and offering them an attractive alternative will give you some time w/ your LO to take care of her.

    You can do this Mama!!! Your LO is here and loves and needs you Just like your other two love you! You can involve your older 2 in taking care of the baby and the house . . . even little things maybe like rubbing your shoulders while you're nursing, or helping you put laundry in the washer or putting the silverware away from the dishwasher. I have found the more I allow my children to help me do, the better off I am sanity-wise as a mother and the more willing they are to give me my space.

    About the let down/milk streaming incident . . . I've found that keeping a burp rag covering my boob when baby de-latches really helps the streaming from causing a mess. Then when baby is ready to latch again, I just move the rather wet burp cloth . . . but then I don't have a baby covered in milk and my underclothes aren't soaked. HTH

    We are here for you - don't lose hope -

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Davenport, FL
    Posts
    763

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzy's Mommy View Post
    I also have 3 - 8 year old, 6 year old, and 5.5 week old. It's definatly not easy. My older 2 are thankfully older though so they can do quite a bit for themselves when Jasmine is giving me a hard time.

    Are you regretting the choice to have a 3rd? Or what choices are you regretting?

    I have not read all the posts, yet but I am regretting the bf choice and some days a 3rd. Not that I do not love her but it is the mother's blues kicking in pretty bad today. All she does is cry today and eat and cry and eat ... you get the picture.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    87

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    I have a 2 year old and a 5 week old and stay home with them. Dh works from home but is no help b/c he is indeed working in his office. there are some days when I sit here and cry b/c I am so overwhelmed. I can't imagine doing it with three. Bless you!! We do go for walks and I try to give dd 1 as much attention as possible but soemtimes feel I am neglecting her b/c I have a baby attached to the boob. But she knows she is loved and other than that I have to take it one day at a time. Good luck, it will get better, it has too!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    3 under 4 is no fun.... I cann't say that I have btdt as my older ones are futher apart.
    I agree with shahadaghan set up a safe room! I used my bedroom. I knew that the toddler couldn't get loose when I was feeding the baby.
    You have to just let some stuff go.
    The 1st 6 weeks is always the hardest, I thought I wasn't going to make it either but almost magicly over night things just got better.

    Get some help, any help, even if its just a teenager to come in after school and watch the older ones so that you can do a load of laundary and get a shower. You wouldn't have to pay much since you would be home.
    Anytime somebody askes to help give them something to do!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,101

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    Don't lose hope! And no need to regret your choices. When I brought home my 3rd my other 2 were 3.5 and 20 months. You've been through the transition of 1-2; you'll be able to do the 2-3 transition as well. In some ways it's easier because your older 2 can play with each other. You just need some time to find your rhythm. Focus on getting through small periods of time - like a meal. Don't be too hard on judging weather your day was successful - did you feed all your children? did you change their diapers? Yes and Yes! You had a great day! And if things get too bad don't be afraid to put the tv on more than you usually would -- everyone is adjusting and it might help you through a trouble spot.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    I spent a lot of time holding this baby while doing stuff with the older child. It was easier when I put the baby in the sling (get one as soon as you can -- it will make life much easier). My firstborn is a very high-needs child, and there were days I wondered how I was going to take care of two kids (and we're wondering about a third for next year). Somehow, it has worked out.

    It also sounds like the new baby is hitting a growth spurt. Those happen around 3 weeks and 6 weeks. You'll feel like you're losing your mind, the baby needs to eat all the time and seems to never sleep, but suddenly, it will be gone when your supply matches your baby's needs (so minimize those bottles, or your supply will have to play catch-up even longer). The baby will settle down to a more regular feeding schedule.

    Some babies are just harder than others. Does this baby seem to have colic? That makes life much, much harder. If she does, there's some really helpful information here on that you might find interesting.

    You'll make it. You did one to two kids. Two to three is do-able. Your oldest certainly can do some things to help out and do some things for him/herself, and the younger can start doing some simple stuff too.

    One thing that totally saved my sanity when DS #2 was going through a growth spurt about the time DH went back to work was ensuring the house where DS #1 plays was totally childproofed so I didn't have to worry about him hurting himself, and he was old enough to have the basics down (and I stopped worrying about him doing some things that previously I hadn't wanted him to do). NOTHING was out that I cared about; if it was destroyed, torn up or lost, big deal. DS #1 had toys everywhere to play with, and I "played" with him while nursing. I sat on the floor and nursed, or I watched him while holding the baby and we talked about stuff. We watched a lot of movies and PBS too. So what. It was a phase. It goes by faster than you think when you're in the midst of things.

    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,721

    Default Re: Mom of 2 or more I do not think I can do it much longer

    Quote Originally Posted by mom23cuties View Post
    I have not read all the posts, yet but I am regretting the bf choice and some days a 3rd. Not that I do not love her but it is the mother's blues kicking in pretty bad today. All she does is cry today and eat and cry and eat ... you get the picture.
    I would definatly agree with PPs, it does sound a lot like a Growth Spurt. We went through one a few weeks ago, and are going through one again now. On Sunday night I actually said to my mom "It's times like these I wonder why I don't feed her formula" when we were at my parents' house and LO decided to eat most of the time there. I feed her in another room since my dad is terribly uncomfortable with it. But surprise surprise she slept from 8:30 pm until 3:30 am! It hasn't happened since but it really made me re-think what I had said to my mom.

    Some days, especially during the real hard times with growth spurts and all I've questioned why we wanted a 3rd, but then I look at her and I couldn't imagine life without her. I've already started to forget what it was like....

    ~*Allee*~

    Damon 8/5/99 Heaven 7/24/01 Jasmine 7/20/07

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •