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Thread: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    39

    Default Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    Hi THere,
    Ok... a short history...this is my second child. DS#1 was NOT b/f due to his tongue tie (which blistered me badly!), and my lack of milk (I never really had milk come in despite pumping around the clock!).

    So now with this kid... I"m more aware and educated, and have a STRONG desire to make b/fing work. Unfortunately, DS was admitted to the NICU at the children's hospital an hour away from home for the first two weeks of his life

    The nurses there were mostly pro-bottle, though there were some who did encourage and help with b/fing. I was nervous, and sore! I was terrified, and they called the LC who did offer some help. My son would latch when offered breast, but since I have a toddler as well and couldn't be there 24/7 they often bottlefed him

    So then he ended up with serious nipple confusion, and I"ve been working on that since he got home (he is now 8 weeks old). With Dr. Newman's help... we've gotten him to latch on one side pretty well -- but its inconsistant! Sometimes he will and sometimes he just won't! He seems to PREFER WHEN I"M ENGORGED and I have no idea why or what to do about it? He usually will nurse first thing in the morning after I"ve not even pumped for 10 hours (yes long time I know)... but this morning he wouldn't even do THAT! This happens to be after last week when 3 days went by during which he had NOTHING BUT BOOB and was very satisified!

    Now he'll go on, but he is pulling on and off the nipple A LOT, and won't just stay on! I suspect he only wants to be on the nipple (is that what he is doing when I"m engorged??)... I can't seem to correct the latch... and no even sure this is the issue! I've tried the SNS but I"m home with the kids all day, and DH not around to help. Baby won't take the SNS anyhow.

    Should I switch to slow flow bottles (EBM!)... ?? I'm at a total loss and my next appt. with Dr. Newman isn't for at least a week! I want this to work out with all my heart! Someone must have some ideas!

    When I DO try to correct the crappy latch (when he is just on the nipple) he then flatly refuses any more boob for that attempt. Someone? Anyone?? Incidentally... I'm on the domperidone 4 pills 4x/day, and pump about every 3 hours during the day to maintain supply.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    161

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    I just wanted to offer support and say I am sorry that you are going through so much with your new lo. I hope you get some good advice ASAP from someone who has been there. ((hugs))

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    789

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    How wonderful that you have access to Dr. Newman. He's a great resource. Do you have a local LLL group in your area? LLL leaders could help you in the interim, before your next appt. When he pulls off, is milk spraying out? That would be a strong let-down. Perhaps he likes he best when you are engorged because there's plenty of milk and doesn't want to work for milk at other times? I think bottles would only exasterbate this problem. Once the milk is flowing will he stay on? If so perhaps you could pump to get it flowing and then latch him on?

    Sorry for the randomness of my ideas. Try calling an LLL leader if possible!

    Anne- Mom to two active boys: Henry 10/06 and Jamie 4/09


    Looking for an LLL leader in your area? click:
    http://www.llli.org/webindex.html

    confused about abbreviations? check this out:
    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=807

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    39

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    Hi Thanks for the help and support! The thing is this baby was bottle fed for two weeks in the NICU (grrr).... and I've had to really fight to get him on the breast at all since we've been home.

    When he pulls off the breast on one side... when he first starts, there is a spary even though there is no sucking going on (strong let down I guess on that side?). On the other side... letdown takes forever, and no spray develops (just drips)... but I still pump about the same on both sides, just one side is faster than the other?

    He continues to be bottle fed only because he won't take an SNS (tried very hard to use for on the breast feedings, finger feedings... but he just won't do it for me).

    I think you're right -- he likes when its a fast let down, and won't work for it. SO do I just keep going with the one feeding a day in the mornings when it seems he will take it and keep trying? I can't give up the bottle -- he wouldn't eat then and I've been told NOT to do that by the Newman clinic. We don't want this to become aggravating for him (or me!) because then he really WILL GIVE UP. Sighhh.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    87

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    I had latch issues with dd1 and my LC let me use a nipple shield. I gave dd a bottle of EBM too early and then she wouldn't go to the breast so I would use the shield long enough to get her on the breast, the milk flowing and then remove the shield and she would do well. We used it about a week and finally she was all breast, no shield.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    789

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    I was going to suggest a nipple shield too, but you might want to check with Dr. Newman and he what he says. I personally think they are a good tool for getting baby back on the breast from the bottle, but others may disagree.

    The rule is always to feed the baby, so keep doing the bottles when you have to and try to bf as much as often. 8 weeks is so young! Perhaps as your baby gets older, he will get better at nursing right from the breast. Giving EBM in a bottle is not the end of the world! your baby is still getting your milk which is awesome. Then Dr. Newman can help you further with getting him to nurse. Trying to get more in-person help from an LLL leader would be great too.

    Since you had three days of good breastfeeding, you know it's possible so don't forget that! It can happen again. Breastfeeding was challenges for me in the early weeks and is for many women, you are not alone! But it can get better and once you overcome the hurdles it is awesome and so worth it!

    I'm sorry I don't have too many other suggestions for you. Keep us posted!

    Anne- Mom to two active boys: Henry 10/06 and Jamie 4/09


    Looking for an LLL leader in your area? click:
    http://www.llli.org/webindex.html

    confused about abbreviations? check this out:
    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=807

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    33

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    Hi! I had a situation similar to yours...It is really hard when a baby gets used to a bottle because you are right, the milk comes out of the bottle faster...they end up getting more than they need usually. He is probably pulling off due to frustration. This is what I did to get my daughter back to the breast. I took just a plain nipple from one of her bottles and stuck my finger into it while holding her as close to my breast as possible (as if she was breastfeeding). Then, when she started to suck, I would pull the nipple away and try to get her to latch on to my breast. I think it took me 2 days to get this. After she would nurse, I would wait to see how she acted. If I felt she needed a bottle, I would give her a few ounces, not a whole bottle. Gradually, I gave her less and less...all the way down to 1 oz. That process took a few weeks. In the meantime, try Fenugreek. It really helped increase my supply, which will help your situation. Also, make sure you are completely relaxed while trying to breastfeed. The stress of the situation can affect your let-down, so try really hard to be as relaxed as possible. And I made sure I was drinking plenty of water, especially before nursing. ! Good luck!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    I've been having the same problem with my 10 week old girl. She latches on and off the whole time. From the advice of the moms on these forums I have found that my let down is too fast for her and so she does this off and on. I have tried reclining or lying down to breast feed and today she feed just fine without coming off and on. There is also some other tips on this webiste under "am I producing oo much milk?" it was very helpful. I feel our frustration but it seems like it can get better....I hope! We'll see day 2 tomorrow!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    987

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    I just want to say, good job mama! the beginning is hard even when everything is going right! So brava to you!

    WOW! You get to meet the actual Dr. Newman! What a blessing! I don't have much wisdom to add here. I think that getting the baby to the breast when he isn't super hungry will help him get used to the breast. I have heard nipple shields recommended a lot for this type of thing. I would try to use yourself as his pacifier. If he is not nursing well for meals, give him pumped milk, then when he is ready to suck, try the breast. I would just keep offering it. When I had problems with DD wearing her helped. I also had her sleeping on my chest for a few months. (miss that ) It was easier for us to get everything right when she was sleepy. Then slowly, all the pieces would fall together occassionally in the daylight hours too.

    And don't forget to rest! Nap with him whenever you can. Leave the house a mess. Let the dishes pile up! Baby and sleep are much more important at this time!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    39

    Default Re: Someone? Anyone? I need some serious help here!

    Thanks so much for all the help and support here!

    I just don't get why he did so well last week for 3 whole days, and then now... nada. This morning he DID take the boob for his first morning feed. He spent half the night in bed with DH and I... and it went fine. I woke him up 20 minutes earlier than he normally feeds for a second attempt... and he latched for about 2 minutes really well (I taped the SNS on to the boob!)... but then once again, got very irritable and screamed at me. He did keep trying to get milk from the boob for a bit... but then he was just sooo mad that I gave in and gave him the bottle. I tried boob again at the end of the feeding... but no go. He wouldn't even get into position for me.

    I am delighted to even have mama milk to give this time around... I had NONE really for my firstborn... and it was horrible! I sobbed EACH Time we had to buy /give formula for WEEKS. Sooo... the bottom line is this. .... I'd PREFER he take it straight from the factory (boob) and we eliminate the middleman (bottle)... but... I'll take what I can get! Once a day even if only for 5 minutes is fine with me (but its a shame I can't get him on more or better!). Last week was an amazing time for me with him EBFing! I'll just keep working at it and we'll see what we can do. I suspect it is his latch is too shallow, and / or he doesn't want to work for it (lazy boy!).

    I did try a nipple shield... he won't take it AT ALL! I've tried pumping a minute or two before latching... and that is how I got him to take ANY boob AT ALL!

    Tell me... is it possible to have a super fast let down on one side, and super slow on the other? The one side NEVER gets a decent spray going...just dribbles when I pump. But the other side is spraying like mad, and done within about 3 minutes. This morning it took DS 5 minutes to take a complete feeding from the superboob.

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