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Thread: loosing faith

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    30

    Unhappy loosing faith

    on april 30, i gave birth to my first, and then from what i found out would be my only, baby girl. she was 15 weeks early, i just made week 25 by the skin of our teeth, and have been living the nicu life since. my daughter is now 122 days old, and went from a fiesty little 1 pound 7 ounce baby to a starting to be little chunker at a whole 4 pounds 8 ounce, but i'm having some bf issuse, i've tried almost everything that everyone has told me, and still not having much luck. i started pumping the day i left the hospital, i started leaking, and figured if i was gonna try there was no better time to start. with not much help from the hospital's lc i went on trying, giving it my best shot. but after all this time, and pumping, and pumping, and pumping, i still only get about 4 ounces in a complete day....grrrr....which does not help, because she had to have surgery on her belly, and since this, they had to supplement when they ran out of my milk with preemie formula, which they found out she can not tolerate. they have her set up with a donor milk program for at the least while she is in the hospital, but i would love to be able to provide enough for her by the time she comes home...which is not unfortunately for another 2 & 1/2 months or so, she still has at least 1 more surgery before she comes home. everything is getting quite frustrating, and stressfull, which i know doesn't help, but she was my first, and we were far from expecting all of this. does anyone have any ideas of other things to try, and what else can help?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,090

    Default Re: loosing faith

    Hugs to you. I have never been in your situation, but my son spent a couple of days in the NICU when he was born. I was hell bent on BFing, so when they told me they might want to supp. with formula, I got that pump, cleared my head, said a prayer, and looked at pictures we had taken from the birth to help get the juices flowing. I thought about how badly I wanted him, how I wanted him to be better and how my BM would make that happen. With this mindset I pumped 16ccs of colostrum on my first try and was able to feed it to him in a syringe. It is physically hard for our bodies to produce when we don't have the baby to hold to help get the oxytocin and prolactin flowing. Are you able to hold her at all? If I were you I would try to pump as soon as possible after you are with her, or while you are at the hospital. She needs your touch to grow and you need her touch to make milk. Keep your mind in the right place, a positive one. When you are not with her and you are pumping, look at pictures, think of her coming home, her first nap with you on the bed, her first Christmas, etc...

    Your baby has proven she is strong, you can make her stronger. Hang in there and it will get better.

    Make sure you are also drinking tons of water.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    616

    Default Re: loosing faith

    DONT GIVE UP.....things are going to be ok and ur gonna see pretty soon u will have ur lo home and bf her okay...u said u tried everything...have u looked at trying herbal supplements? i have issues and its hard to keep my supply up and what has worked for me is fenugreek and blessed thistle u take these everyday...i got them from gnc or if u have one where u are a whole foods store..it has really helped me boost my supply of course u still have to pump...if you have to because u said ur lo will be home after 2 mo or so u can always relactate so dont be harsh on ur self..stressing does not help ur supply either..(i know its easier said than done)...if u need support come here..these mamas here have helped me be where i am today and thats still bf at 8mo....so hang in there

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: loosing faith

    Oh I can only imagine. I was very close to bring in your situation. Remembering how terrified I was still makes me cry.

    Remember how tiny your baby's tummy is! No need to be discouraged!

    Have you tried hand expression? I expected it to be tedious and time counsuming, but it is efficient. I can express 3x more than I can pump.

    When bfing gets rough, I think about how I want to still be bfing in a year. That gives me motivation to stay with it.

    You are one strong mama!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    286

    Default Re: loosing faith



    What is your pumping schedule?
    Dana
    Wife to Jonathan Edward, 3/29/2002
    Mother of Alexander "Lex" Edward, 3/4/2007
    Attachment Parenting - it's not what you do, it's why you do it.
    Breastfeeding
    Co-Sleeping
    Wearing Lex as often as possible
    Daytime cloth diaperer, nighttime sposie user

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: loosing faith

    have you looked up your local leader?
    she can help!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    551

    Default Re: loosing faith

    Wow what a strong Momma you are!

    I agree with the pp suggestion of holding your bubby, even stroking her hand while you pump. I gave up trying to pump without mine in the room, I have to be able to see him and stoke his hair to get it all flowing. or even better a great big sniff of his beautiful baby smell. Good luck, and come back here if you need extra hugs!
    Karli, Besotted mother of Ashley,8lb 9oz - 9th May 2007 and Fae 8lb 11oz 17th Feb 2010, both born at home, naturally.



    Nappy-free @ 18 months EC'ing rocks!
    Just leave it alone.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,437

    Default Re: loosing faith

    Moving this thread to Breastfeeding Premature Infants for more replies.

    Tiana

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    30

    Wink Re: loosing faith

    i do get to hold her, but sometimes it's far and few between, she gets aggitated easily...at 16 weeks today, she has been through more than i could ever dream of. with the surgery she had, sometimes it makes it uncomfortable for her to be held, but when i'm there i do try to comfort her as much as i possibly can. but it's very hard to see her like that. you know, the mommy kicks in, i want to be able to make it all better for her, and i can't, and it's hard that as old as she is, it's someone else that takes care of her daily, and not me. i try to pump about every 3 hours, but i usually only get about 6 times in a day. and i have been trying some of the herbs, and i see some improvement, but not alot. and i just keep pumping. i tried a few times to pump at her bedside, but sometimes there is just so much going on, that it just doesn't really work, and then i'll get frustrated. so usually when my husband goes with me, i will pump on the way back and forth instead. but it's hard, the hospital is an hour away, so our days end up being long ones, no matter what we try to do. i look at her every day, and thank god for my little fighter. and i look at how sick i was, which i'm sure doesn't help all of this either, and how sick she was, and i say a prayer, and just keep telling myself we are almost there. but it's still such a long road

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: loosing faith

    With only being able to pump 6x per day, you are only maintaing your supply, not increasing it. To increase it, you need to pump 10 - 12 times per day. It's a lot!

    I promise it will be easier once your LO is home with you.

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