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Thread: The age old question!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    143

    Default The age old question!

    I have a good friend that lives below me in my apartment, she has 3 kids her self and tried to BF but for what ever reason or excuse she gave up on all 3 at a few days or less, soo now here I am talking the other day in my apt. and ds wants to nurse, he got up at 6:30 thanks to the school year starting again for my older kids, It's about 10:30 at the time and he's tired and I always nurse him to sleep, so I let him nurse while we are chatting... Her first comment way wow he has gotten way bigger then when you first brought him home( I nursed from day one and she saw me do it then) but not much since then. A few minunites later she finnally asked "How long are you going to nurse him?" My first comment was hopefully soon but by the age of 2. I nursed my first one that long and told her so. She goes on to comment that she saw someone nursing their 3-4 YO and how she was so turned off by it, saying something about just flipping out the boob etc at that age, I kinda felt she was saying in other words to stop, but I was in my own house! I didn't say too much on EBF but wish I would have in retospect. Granted she said she thought what i was doing was good. She always said she "wish she could have BF" so I'm not sure how to take her comments.. What do you all think? Should I ask since she is becoming a better friend by the day or should I let it go? I ask because I want to feel comfortable nursing in front of her at any age my son is! Sorry so long!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    255

    Wink Re: The age old question!

    if i were you, i wouldn't bring it up. but if she says something similar the next time you nurse in front of her, just state your opinion on EBF. i've often been asked by girlfriends about how long i'm planning to nurse my son, and sometimes i'm meet with skepticism when i say 2+ years. my situation is slightly different, since i'm the first one of of my friends to have a baby, so i can take the role of educator. i usually rattle off a few statistics, and leave it at that!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: The age old question!

    Well, if she is really turned off by it, you can just wait and see what happens. Should your baby turn 3 and still be nursing (of course by then no one really needs to know), she could possibly be so weirded out that she makes the close friendship become a distant one. Honestly that happens to parents anyway. A family who spanks, a family who's children lead weaning, a family who goes backpacking and a family who brings the kids to the mall for exercise...This could all be one family, but there could also be something here that doesn't exactly nurture the friendship. But maybe there is common ground enough to let the other stuff slide. It sounds like she is honoring your choice to bf, and you try to respect her choice not to. So that's great. Maybe you will both continue to convey such respect as you parent your toddlers differently. Breast, toilet, pacifier, career choice, schooling, TV... there are lots of things that we can wonder "why?" about each other. She MAY be turned off by your bf'ing, but she probably also knows it's none of her business. I'd keep it that way.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    139

    Default Re: The age old question!

    I have a close friend who is not the most understanding person about EBF and I just let her be that way. She knows I still nurse my dd who's 20mos. Occassionally she'll say something like "when are you going to wean that kid?" or "you're still nursing?" and I just answer whatever she asks. I plan to wean to 2 and possibly longer if dh will understand I don't BF in public anymore unless I absolutely have to, I don't BF when I'm at her house unless I absolutely have to, but if she's at my house then it's my house and I'll do as I please in my own house! Granted I don't just "whip it out" I'm descrete but I don't shut myself in another room or anything like that. It's your house and what you do in your house is your business as long as no one is being hurt by it!

    Cathy
    Wife for 11 yrs and counting
    Mom to ds (12/96) bf 11mos
    dd (9/98) bf 6mos
    dd (11/05) bf 27mos and counting!

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