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Thread: I really need help/advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default I really need help/advice

    lo is two wks old, he is my third. I have two older boys aged just 3 and 2 at the end of this month, dh is about to go back to work on monday, i have over the last two wks been ebf ( just) but i have sat for hours just feeding, i have not been able to play with my other two, or do anything as baby has been attatched 24/7. I feel so guilty about not being able to do anything with the other two , but also feel rotten as yesterday and this morning so far lo has had formula for most feeds. I will need to look after all three boys come monday and i cant justify bf at the expense of looking after my other two. I feel so bad, I want to bf so much, ( with ds1 he would not latch on, mouth to small and he would just not latch, ds2 i had PP and was in no state to do anything, this time around ds3 has latched on, no soreness, no nipple problems, he just wants to feed all the time. with dh at home not so much a problem, but as said with just me , I cant do it.

    If there is any advice, anything to increase milk supply, ideas to keep boys entertained while feeding, ideas how to get even 30 min in between feeds to do things with my other two or even sort out their foods..
    pls xx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    286

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    Have you considered wearing the baby in a sling? The baby can feed in the sling and it leaves your hands free.

    And 2 weeks old is a growth spurt so the baby will be on you 24/7, but will reduce feeding all the time when the spurt is over...until the next growth spurt. Does someone else have info available on when all the growth spurts are?

    Maybe set a goal to make it to one month old...and re-evaluate then.
    Dana
    Wife to Jonathan Edward, 3/29/2002
    Mother of Alexander "Lex" Edward, 3/4/2007
    Attachment Parenting - it's not what you do, it's why you do it.
    Breastfeeding
    Co-Sleeping
    Wearing Lex as often as possible
    Daytime cloth diaperer, nighttime sposie user

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,064

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    I second the sling idea. This way baby will be content close to you and nursing, and you can tend to your other children at the same time. Do you have any friends or family members who can come help you out a bit? It is very common for a newborn to want to nurse ALL THE TIME. As long as the baby is peeing and pooping and gaining weight, then your milk supply is fine. This can be very challenging, but it won't last forever. As the baby gets older they will become more interested in the world around them and won't want to nurse quite so much. Hang in there!

  4. #4

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    Hi there

    How are you feeling "rotten"? Do you feel like you're coming down with the flu?

    I'm interested to know why you feel you need to increase your milk supply?

    What you describe (nursing all day) is very common for a 2 week old newborn Most mothers find that it gets easier as the baby gets a little older. I also suggest perhaps trying a sling. Your older boys can snuggle up with you while you nurse, you can read to them, set them up with crafts and snacks, etc. I know it feels overwhelming at the moment, but you'll probably find that it's like this only for a few more weeks!

    Hang in there!
    Jen
    "Mothers are designed to be available to their babies--to help them make the transition into this big, wide world. To teach them to trust, and love, and feel good about being alive."
    --Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq., So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes

    Click here to find your local LLL Group
    How to tell if your breastfed baby is getting enough milk!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    thank you for your advice

    I ordered a sling last night so just waiting for that to be delivered hopefully tue. last night and today i have just bf on demand which included me just switching sides all night so running on very little sleep lol, im dreading tomorrow with just me at home as dh goes back to work. i am trying to get cleaning done tonight so i dont have to think about it too much tomorrow.

    the reason im feeling rotten is because i really wanted to make this work.
    I had puerperal psychosis after my second son and had huge bonding issues.
    i want to spend time with my new baby, unlike i did with my second and as bf was and has been going so well, having to give it up filled me with sadness. x

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    i know it is hard, i have a baby who is 10 days old right now, and she wants to nurse pretty much every hour, her longest stretches have been two hours, and I have three other children. The sling sounds good to me too, let the cleaning go!!! I try to clean my house when she is sleeping, and you know what? Sometimes it is not worth it, use the time you would be cleaning to be with your other children instead, the house will always need attention, but this is a crucial point for your entire family and the cleaning can wait. Nursing will get easier, as the baby ages, the feedings will become more spread out. I nursed two others and it got much easier with time. hang in there!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    161

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    (((hugs)))

    I think you will find that a sling works wonders. Not only is bf easier, but its likely your lo will sleep well in it also giving you more time with your other children. GL!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Swartz Creek, MI
    Posts
    1,776

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    Quote Originally Posted by TokochickUK View Post
    thank you for your advice

    i am trying to get cleaning done tonight so i dont have to think about it too much tomorrow.
    Do you have family/friends that can come over for a couple hrs to help? This will help with the stress....

    Hang in there and stay encouraged!
    Married mama with 4 kiddos...2 girls (11 & 6) and 2 boys (21mo & 3mo)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    My daughter was the exact same way. I even posted about it on another forum that I frequent. It was so stressful for me, and me being a first time mom I had no idea how demanding BFing can be. I remember thinking I wish something would make it so that I can't breastfeed so then I would have a "good reason" to quit. I decided to make it a personal goal to last one month, which was a significant drop from the 6 month goal I established while I was pregnant. Well I'm happy to say that it gets so much easier. I am almost at 6 weeks and my daughter is not on my breast nearly as much, as a matter of fact she nurses very fast now. I do enjoy our nursing sessions and I'm so glad I stuck it out.

    I myself don't have any other children but I can say that I do have time now to do other things. Please give it more time, you are right at the time that I wanted to quit because it was so stressful for me. My daughter used to scream when she wasn't latched on to me every second and now she is so much more content. The things that have helped me have been her swing and a pacifier that she just started taking at 4 weeks.

    Good Luck!!!
    Last edited by mommy2kayla; August 11th, 2007 at 08:26 AM.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    90

    Default Re: I really need help/advice

    Hang in there! I agree with setting small goals. I had same experience with lo wanting to nurse all the time and taking an hour or more to complete a feeding. I also have a 2 yo. so I know how hard it is to be "torn" between kids. I can't remember a time ever in my life I felt so challenged in every way. I told myself I would give it a month and see how it was going, then I found myself saying I'll give it six weeks, then eight weeks...
    Each time I found wonderful little glimmers of hope that were enough to keep me going. Wishing you the best on Monday. You will make it... take small steps. You can only do so much... it will get better

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