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Thread: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    http://www.lalecheleague.org/LAD/TaLLL/TaLLL.html

    heres some info about being a leader.

    Its hard when your partner is mean! I would just tell him that hurt my fealings.
    And see what was said after that.
    SOmetimes they are just so dence they don't know what they say hurts.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12

    Smile Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    Hi Andrea,

    Thanks for your comfort and for the link, I shall have a look when I finish work at 5pm.


  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    Quote Originally Posted by MaisiesMummy View Post
    Hi All,

    I So any verbal hugs, advice, or just plain moaning would be great.
    *hugs* I'm still nursing my 2.5 year old. He doesn't nurse that often and we have limits since I'm 30 weeks pregnant and just exhausted, but I wanted to let you know that I support you. I don't know what I would do without my dh support. I think being more involved with your local LLL would be a good support for you!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    Hey Motherearthdancer,

    Thanks for your support. I so wish I had found this site in the very early days. I used to go to a local breastfeeding support group in Rochdale where I lived and it was one of the things I looked forward to whilst on maternity leave, but had to leave it all too soon, when I returned to full-time work in Feb 2005.

    I have to work for financial reasons and I miss MJ every day. I try and keep my diet good (with a little chocolate here and there, but very limited alcohol) and drink 2 ltrs of water most days.

    When I read some of these articles I see 'myself' and my situation in many. Still I am here now, better late than never. I have my membership card now and will more than likely purchase the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

    I am 40 next year - although I'm not sure if I'll have anymore children would love another baby and I would most definitely breastfeed until baby had had enough.

    I sometimes think that my partner maybe a touch jealous, because of the problems we have had and the bond that breastfeeding creates with Mum and baby...... - I did try and involve him right from the start - however, my midwives advised me that if I was going to breastfeed her, not to introduce a bottle until she was over 5 months old, which by then she was attending nursery. I was pining for her all day the very first day she went to nursery on her own - I missed her like I've never missed anyone and only a Mum would understand that.

    My big sis breastfed her youngest son until he was nearly 4!!!!!

    Thanks again xxxxxxxx

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    non person? that doesn't even make sense. my dh has requested in the past that I behave more like a human and I was offended by that. non-person would have probably pissed me off at first but cracked me up later. like, what does that mean? especially in reference to breastfeeding? acting like a mammal is being a non person? whatever.

    I just TRY to give my dh the benefit of the doubt.. try to assume that he loves me and thinks mostly good things about me. Otherwise I start a downward spiral of bad thoughts about him and about us. And he is very loving and if I keep my eyes open to it I can see clearly the support he gives me. But it's so easy to hurt each other. Especially now that we are three.

    The thing about breastfeeding; naysayers WILL get their way eventually... eventually the child will stop breastfeeding. So regardless of how you approach weaning, this is a temporary conflict. But of course it does reflect differing approaches to parenting. Many dads seem to worry so much about things that just come by themselves. Like stopping food throwing. And pronouncing whatever they aren't pronouncing. And sleeping through the night. And weaning. And calming oneself down after a fall or a tantrum. They'll GET there, dad... you don't need to force a kid to want to grow up. The child will grow up. Just model good behavior. Teach the child to respect mom.

    I know my dh has felt like a third wheel at times when it's mom, dad and baby. It's more like momandbaby.. and oh yeah, dad. He has been pretty honest about it, which helps. Not nice, but honest. I know he needs a social life beyond the family; I do too. I am very happy that he has been drawn to other fathers - or that his friends have all become fathers? And of course I advocated breastfeeding to those new parents! It sure helps that he now has male friends who's two year olds are bf'ing and co-sleeping, and each child has a very different personality.. so he just can't blame any characteristic on bf'ing.

    I learned to let him and dd work things out together more, without jumping in to save them. Even when he is doing things much differently that I would like him to. This has helped him to gain confidence in his own parenting and sympathize with my style more (easy to call a child spoiled, for example, when you're outside looking in) and feel less like chopped liver.

    Where am I going with this?
    Oh. How do you get over it? Be patient and work together. Getting through the "terrible twos" did not end with an angel for a three year old, but my sex life improved. It gets better. I think you've just gotta have faith in your partnership.

    "Non-person".. dork.

    Hey, If I've gone 8 days without nursing, does that make me a person again or do I need to dry up all the way first?

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    928

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    Hi Maisie's Mummy,

    Just wanted to give you my support and virtual for keeping on with the BFing despite lack of support at home. My husband was supportive of bf until our son's 12 mth check, where the doc told us there's "no evidence of any benefit to BFing past 8 mths" - hah! I thought my hubby would see the nonsense in this, since I've been telling him all the great reasons for EBF, but now he thinks there's no harm in stopping, but it's "probably not doing him any harm" if I want to continue. Harm? Yeah, right.

    This forum has helped me stay sane throughout the past few months, with madvice (I mean a lot of totally mad advice) hitting me from all directions. I'm from the UK, living in the US, and I get all the 'wisdom' from both continents to deal with!

    and to you

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    309

    Default Re: New Mums With Breastfeeding 2yr Old Toddlers

    Hi maisiesmummy!
    I'm new here too, but thought I'd say "hello" as I'm also in the UK, and by coincidence, I used to work in Rochdale. (It's a long time ago now though!)
    I am tandem nursing my 2 boys, aged 4 and nearly 2, and I nursed my daughter til she self weaned aged 3.5 years. I've worked full time through most of that time too. It can be easy to feel very alone in such circumstances can't it? Most of the other mums at work tend to think you are crazy, and you can get a bit cut off from other breastfeeding mums because most of the groups and so on run when you are at work. The internet is great for catching up with other people though. I love the fact that when I'm feeling that I am the only person in the whole world who is in my position, I can log on to groups like this, and find out that there are really other mums like me all over the world!
    Hang on in there. I hope your partner shows you some more support soon. You are doing a great job.

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