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Thread: Pawing in Public

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    39

    Question Pawing in Public

    My DD turned 2 and still is an active nurser. However, in public, I am not sure how to deal with her pawing me and demanding to nurse. She's yanking at my shirt, screaming, and does not want me to refuse her.

    I have never been embarrased to nurse her, until she starts these tantrums.

    If I try to hold her, she tries to force herself into a nursing position. I try to reason with her and say, "later"...etc. but she won't listen to me. I have even tried to distract her by giving her a sippy cup with milk/juice, whatever.

    She doesn't care where/when, or who's around. She wants it and NOW!

    At her gymnastics, she decided she wanted to nurse, and freaked on me in front of everyone.

    Everyone is telling me I should quit, she is too big, including my mother, and my teen boys. My father just teases me that she will have to come home from school to nurse.

    How do you deal with this??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    103

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Have you tried signing with her? Maybe that will help her learn how to communicate the fact that she wants to nurse w/o throwing a fit. Signing has worked very well for us.
    Bee- proud mama to Maggie, 6/12/06 and Maya, 10/15/08

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    1,197

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    I read in one of the parenting magazines that you can invent a word for nursing that is not related to nursing and teach it to your child, kind of like a code.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    39

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Actually, she calls it, mommy numms... Which doesn't bother me... It's the clawing at me, and trying so forcefully to nurse...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    960

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    congrats on such a long nursing relationship. I see the problem here as not being a breastfeeding issue at all. Sounds like a typical two year old. Kids are very smart whether they want a toy at a convenient store or your breast. The breast is obviously the issue w you. Is there a particular time she always wants the breast, is it always when you are out. 2 year old know what grabs our attention. Isn't it funny they always seem to know when were on the phone or doing something they are not particularly the center of attention. Nursing requires 100 percent mom time. My guess is she is just experimenting with her new found person, You will know when its time to stop breastfeeding and I dont think this is necessarily a reason to wean. Be consistent about when you feel its appropriate and dont give in, soon she will know that no really means know and there is a time and place you are both comfortable with. That's my take on it. Hope that helps
    My little May baby just turned THE BIG ONE!
    Formally known as kaykate23

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    39

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Quote Originally Posted by kaykate23 View Post
    Sounds like a typical two year old. Kids are very smart whether they want a toy at a convenient store or your breast.
    Yes, that is kinda what I feel sometimes... I admit, I have given in, because of the huge scene she makes. Drawing even more attention to myself.... So, I let her. Just because it prevents other snide comments, and questions. Instead of standing my ground...to teach her something.

    I don't think she will give up anytime soon! Which is fine with me. Just got to get this pawing issue under control, thanks!

    I am sure others moms of toddlers have experienced a demand of the breast at some time...


  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    285

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Not that it is always ideal, but perhaps when she first wants to nurse excuse yourself to the restroom or other confined area and either nurse her (unless that is giving in and you want to teach her to be patient) or discuss it with her and then return, hopefully, with things more under control.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    93

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Sounds like more of a discipline/2yr old issue than I a nursing issue. When she does that (if it were me) I would take her into another room so that she's not causing a scene. I would treat it just like a tantrum. Not necessarily not nurse her but wait until she's under control so it's not like you're giving into her. By taking her away from other people you can deal with her fit and not feel like you're being watched by everyone and being criticisized for still nursing. If there's not another room I would go out to my car. jmho

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,101

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    No solutions just wanted to share that my son still asks to nurse in public and can be quite insistant about it. We also have hand wars (he wants his hand down my shirt and in my bra so he can touch the other side, I'm not so keen on that) when we are actually nursing.
    Laura, proud vbacing, ecological breastfeeding mommy to four ages 8, 6, 5, and 2. That's Kate nursing her doll, Adam.

    The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding: (1) exclusive breasfeeding for the first 6 months (2) pacify baby at your breast (3) don't use bottles and pacifiers (4) co-sleep for night feedings (5) take a nursing nap (6) nurse frequently day and night; avoiding schedules (7) avoid practices that restrict nursing or separates you from your baby. The average return of menstruation for ecological breastfeeding mothers is between 14 and 15 months.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,551

    Default Re: Pawing in Public

    Hi wendieann,
    Congratulations for nursing your little one into her third year! What a great start in life.
    This sounds challenging! And it's true that many mothers of nursing toddlers have experienced insistent demands to nurse at tricky times or locations. You are not alone!
    Have you noticed any particular triggers for this behavior? Is it when she is overwhelmed? Tired? Hungry? Needing reassurance (in a new situation or facing new demands)? Needing comfort to overcome a disappointment? Recognzing the triggers might help you prepare for potential "storms".
    How verbal is she? Could you prepare her in advance for a time when she knew she would have to wait, like in a store, or during gymnastics class? And let her know beforehand that whatever happens she'd be able to nurse afterward? Sometimes advance preparation can help, depending on the age and temperament of the child.
    This kind of discussion might not help immediately but it may start to help her realize there are times/places that are OK and times/places that involve waiting. As they get older it really does get easier for them to accept certain limits.
    Mary

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